The New Intimacy

To spank or not to Spank

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Contributor: Darklyvan Darklyvan
My wife likes to be spanked while I do not, nor do I enjoy doing the spanking. I was raise a southern gentleman and taught never to hit a girl. Of course I understand the difference mentally and am working on that.

What I want to know is, how many of you like to be spanked?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
sarahswallows , Kitka , P'Gell , Rarity , Ryuson , Ms. Spice , Talena , Cherrylane , aliceinthehole , Pixel , Nora , ellejay , Diabolical Kitty , Kikui , OhMy! , paige09nicole , ily , Shellz31 , Princess-Kayla ♥ , Vanille , Flfun11 , LavenderSkies , Equinegoddess3 , Kitt Katt , DeliciousSurprise , *Ashley* , deletedacct , jacki , K101 , Subbi , SexyTabby , unfulfilled , xoflxokcxo , Kdlips , idunshire , sexydelphia , DustBunny , switzerland , CreamySweet , beautifulpierced , Cherry21 , Highmaintenancegirl916 , JessCee , Jake'n'bake , Amber88 , SMichelle , ColorMeCute , (k)InkyIvy , BG529 , sexxxkitten , padmeamidala , elli , Airen Wolf , chikisses , lineswecast , mdnght , Rey , ViVix , pirata , Do emu , melissa1973 , Scrawberry78 , brevado , itismedi , Thumper Logic , inkky , k3 , Mhay64 , Lioncub , KrissyNovacaine , Lavendar , misty82 , Gettinmymojoback , Dixiemomma , Vaginas , amazon , Sera26 , remember.me , satinlady550 , ms.anon , hall5885 , Nymeria , Alyxx , quinceykay , dks210 , TheSinDoll , malantha , Lacey- , AliMc , MissMori , roskat , Strider , phoenixfire , gloomybear , novanilla , SecretKinksters , PropertyOfPotter , RavenInChains , chort , xilliannax , Undecided , Heatherbipoly , RomanticGoth , CaseyDeuce , Sweet-n-Playful , indigoibex , Ayogirl230 , GingerSpice , requiem dreams , falalena , TiffanyW , never shy , snowminx , Katelyn , gwenevieve , glassdoll , Smitten-Kitten , 1109 , sfarthing90@gmail.com , KatPawz2003 , nikki0668 , SickOnSin , KiraCat , GingerAnn , missimayhem , MandaB , Young&Adventurous , frisky069 , March Hare , louise83
130  (70%)
Jennysweets , CoffeeCup , indiglo , nori , GoneBabyGone , Miss Zombie , Bignuf , lovebites , EdenUser , talkless , karenm , SydneyScreams , surreptitious , LoneOokami , mr115393 , NorthBayLady
16  (9%)
leatherlover , yellowrexsi , dcooper , bboy21 , stlouisxxx , Kendrir , TheHardOne , Zandrock , violets , sodapin , Boyfriend , maxwe , namelesschaos , Incendiaire , Ciao. , Cas A Nova , Martiniman , Kaleb , Eugler , TransGuy14 , Soko , SoloRebel , Mr.Pitt
23  (12%)
bobbyboy , Darklyvan , MrWishyWashy , Howells , Hallmar82 , Spaceman , Big&Bald , Sir , BlooJay , Twiz , gsfanatic , J5ive , mmmmm , tunacan75 , Ohiofun , Maestro M
16  (9%)
Total votes: 185
Poll is open
11/21/2011
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Contributor: sarahswallows sarahswallows
Quote:
Originally posted by Darklyvan
My wife likes to be spanked while I do not, nor do I enjoy doing the spanking. I was raise a southern gentleman and taught never to hit a girl. Of course I understand the difference mentally and am working on that.

What I want to know is, ... more
I lake a paddle on my but
11/21/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
I love being spanked, it's probably one of my favorite bdsm activities.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Jennysweets Jennysweets
too much ouch
11/21/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
I don't like being spanked. I do, however, like having my ass slapped.

I don't know if most people consider there to be a difference, but I do.
11/21/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I like it, it's fun and usually very playful.

As long as both people have consent, it's OK with me.

Even though I'm in a D/s relationship, sometimes I slap My Man on the ass.. then run like hell.
11/21/2011
Contributor: leatherlover leatherlover
Hilarious P'Gell.

I love to be spanked, and my wife likes it, but she prefers a lighter touch.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Rarity Rarity
I like to be spanked and I also enjoy playfully spanking my boyfriend as well.
11/21/2011
Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I do not like being spanked. But I LOVE doing the spanking!
11/21/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
Forgot to mention this earlier.

In regard to you saying that you're "working on it," my bf had and still has some trouble getting into the right "mindset" for certain types of play. I am someone who likes a little extra roughness now and then, be it an extra hard ass slap and grab, light choke hold, or being called dirty things (what he may have had the hardest time with).

The thing that has helped us the most was to stress and focus on the intimate nature of it. That, for example, I didn't want to feel like a slut generally, but I wanted to feel like *his* slut, be there for *his* pleasure etc in that moment. And on the physical realm, the trust of it. It takes a reasonable amount to trust your body in that way to someone else, that when they hit you or get rough with you, they're doing it with the best intentions and with your comfort and safety and all that in mind. That if he slaps me during a bout of rough sex, it's not because he's just assuming I'd like to be treated that way. It's because we've discussed it and he knows that I like how it feels and trust him to do right by that.

Upping that individual intimacy aspect of it helped him put aside the "but I don't think you're a slut?" and "i don't want to hurt you" type of hesitations.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Nora Nora
..That being said (voted on), when I say I like to be spanked, I'm not talking the kind that leaves welts or a hand print! Some playful "taps" are good given the right situation though...and it's something we can do in public without being arrested, lol.
11/21/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I do not enjoy spanking - receiving or giving.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I love giving and receiving.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Kikui Kikui
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
I love giving and receiving.
Same. But not too hard of spanking. More like a hearty ass slap. I'd be willing to use a crop or the like on someone. But I don't know about receiving with a paddle or whatnot. That might be a tad too rough for me.
11/21/2011
Contributor: paige09nicole paige09nicole
I do like a spanking. I prefer over the knee with a hand. Although I am going to order a new paddle soon that was fur and leather on it, more of a bdsm aspect, naughty schoolgirl or girlfriend in trouble. My boyfriend finds it hott.
11/21/2011
Contributor: stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
We both enjoy it. The her in the relationship enjoys getting spanked more than he does.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Spank Me! Spank Me!
11/21/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I love being spanked!
11/23/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Gods yes, gimme. Sometimes I'll give out the odd buttswat too.
11/23/2011
Contributor: Flfun11 Flfun11
Never had a paddle or whip but I love being bent over doggie style, my ass being smacked while my pussy is being pumped.
11/23/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Darklyvan
My wife likes to be spanked while I do not, nor do I enjoy doing the spanking. I was raise a southern gentleman and taught never to hit a girl. Of course I understand the difference mentally and am working on that.

What I want to know is, ... more
Love it
11/24/2011
Contributor: bobbyboy bobbyboy
Quote:
Originally posted by Darklyvan
My wife likes to be spanked while I do not, nor do I enjoy doing the spanking. I was raise a southern gentleman and taught never to hit a girl. Of course I understand the difference mentally and am working on that.

What I want to know is, ... more
no touching my but
11/26/2011
Contributor: Darklyvan Darklyvan
Quote:
Originally posted by Cherrylane
Forgot to mention this earlier.

In regard to you saying that you're "working on it," my bf had and still has some trouble getting into the right "mindset" for certain types of play. I am someone who likes a little ... more
Thanks for the words to think on
11/28/2011
Contributor: nori nori
i'm of the same exact mentality. I don't mind impact play, but I don't want it to be my by hand.
11/28/2011
Contributor: Equinegoddess3 Equinegoddess3
I very much enjoy being spanked, but I don't really like doing it to someone else.
11/28/2011
Contributor: Kitt Katt Kitt Katt
I used to hate it when my husband swatted my behind when passing by me because I associated it with the spankings I received as I child. He was just trying to be playful but I really didn't like it. In the last couple of years, I have really opened up to it and I do enjoy it very much now. However, that said, I much prefer to be the one doing the spanking and he really does get off on being spanked
11/28/2011
Contributor: Jennysweets Jennysweets
I wonder how linked one enjoyment of being spanked could be with how often you were spanked as a child
11/29/2011
Contributor: deletedacct deletedacct
Spanked, pink cheeks but never breaking the skin or causing scars. A good, firm spank!
11/29/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
To spank or not to spank? TO SPANK! AND HARD! Lol. Not anything that would cause blood or anything though.

Spanking lady bits... LOVE IT! lOL.

Ps. about what Jennysweets said, I've wondered that too, but have not been able to find much info on that particular subject. Strange though. I hardly ever was spanked. Maybe twice that I remember and I didn't like it, of course, but when my partner does I LOVE it! Lol.

My partner isn't really all that thrilled by me spanking him, but likes that I like him doing it to me. It works out fine.
11/30/2011
Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
Hubby has similar hang ups. It took a really long time before he got comfortable spanking me and even longer for him to do it with any real pain and satisfaction. I love the strength he has and there is never a question of being injured. He's found some peace with it along the way and enjoys punishing his Naughty Girl now.

I really believe that being soft and gentle has it's place just as well as having a firm hand does. It's all love when done together for one another's pleasure.

We're still working together on getting him to do more non-vanilla things but it's a process with lots of communication and he has a line he won't cross which is perfectly fine too. Just keep talking and make sure you know where your line is and that she does too. Worst thing Hubby did was cross his own line and it ruined a well planned and agreed upon evening. So much that he got stupid and angry at me. He wouldn't speak to me about it for days. Then decided the best way to deal with it was to flat out say he was done with me being a freak and I needed to get a boyfriend...thing is it was never so important to me that I'd need anyone else. It was just something I wanted to try.

So, one step at a time and lots of honest communication.
11/30/2011