that is a silly idea! Besides, there are toys for both boys and girls now so there is no reason for him to feel slighted.
Featured by EdenFantasys
Is it bad to use sex toys?
09/22/2012
I 100% disagree. I love my sex toys and even still I can't always orgasm when having sex with someone else I still prefer it over my sex toys most of the time. Nothing is like having a real person to do fun things with. Sex toys are just a fun bonus for when you are alone.
09/22/2012
To me no they aren't bad in fact that is how I learned and explored my body learning about what worked for me. Knowing what worked for me I was able to guide my partners in the direction of what I needed and enjoyed. Just because you use toys doesn't mean your partner isn't good enough in bed for you in fact most of the time a lot of us who use toys are completely satisfied with our partner. I have had partners for and against my toys more so for but never wanted to use them on me, they would have rather watched me masturbate. I use toys most of the time with my partner or when he is away an I can't have him. I wouldn't talk with others about your sex life unless you know they aren't going to try an fill your head with negative stuff. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions an while your friend thinks they are bad or that your partner isn't good enough that may not be your case. You need to sit down with your partner an explain and talk about the use of toys, see where they stand on it. If they are against toys that doesn't mean you have to stop using them but don't hide them either. You can simply tell your partner if you don't like my toys I will keep them put up when you are around but I will use them when I please. I wish you luck on all this.
09/22/2012
Sex without toys is not an option in out bedroom!
09/22/2012
No. I don't think so. Ever since adding lingerie and toys into my sex life, my husband and I have gone right crazy about them. Though now he's telling me I have enough, but I'm addicted, and I told him that. But hopefully I can prove him wrong yet again!
09/22/2012
Quote:
yeah, my boyfriend was easily convinced to start using toys, but the guy friend I mentioned thinks its all about needing better sex, and doesn't see the other side to it. Luckily my boyfriend is happy with it.
Originally posted by
Rin (aka Nire)
I somehow doubt you're going to get a whole lot of people on a sex toy website saying it's bad to use them.
It's sad how insecure some people are about toys. They're great, but they're no replacement for the real thing ... more
It's sad how insecure some people are about toys. They're great, but they're no replacement for the real thing ... more
I somehow doubt you're going to get a whole lot of people on a sex toy website saying it's bad to use them.
It's sad how insecure some people are about toys. They're great, but they're no replacement for the real thing (the don't move on their own, can't hug you, often only are one- or two-trick ponies, etc.).
Here's a couple of Sexis articles that explain it a bit better than I could. Perhaps your friend ought to have a look:
Common Myths About Sex Toys
Why Guys Shouldn't Be Afraid of Sex Toys less
It's sad how insecure some people are about toys. They're great, but they're no replacement for the real thing (the don't move on their own, can't hug you, often only are one- or two-trick ponies, etc.).
Here's a couple of Sexis articles that explain it a bit better than I could. Perhaps your friend ought to have a look:
Common Myths About Sex Toys
Why Guys Shouldn't Be Afraid of Sex Toys less
09/23/2012
Quote:
I'm definitely going to be showing my guy friend this. My boyfriend loves my vibrator though (: he actually got a sleeve of his own recently. I'm a proud girl!
Originally posted by
Rossie
That guy friend of yours must have some self-confidence problem in the sex department - do not let him influence your boyfriend with that kind of negative thinking.
09/23/2012
Quote:
Butthurt is probably one of the funniest things I've heard. My boyfriend mostly was just jealous that he couldn't be there when i was masturbating. But in a good way, not in an overbearing way. We're starting to get more and more interested in toys, and unfortunately we got ripped off big time by one company before we found EF.
Originally posted by
Supervixen
Sex toys enhance your experiences with your partner. They aren't a substitute.
I can't help but roll my eyes at men who get all butthurt about the fact that their penis may just not be God's gift to women. Get over yourself. There ... more
I can't help but roll my eyes at men who get all butthurt about the fact that their penis may just not be God's gift to women. Get over yourself. There ... more
Sex toys enhance your experiences with your partner. They aren't a substitute.
I can't help but roll my eyes at men who get all butthurt about the fact that their penis may just not be God's gift to women. Get over yourself. There are countless sexual experiences that you can share with another person, and guess what? They don't all revolve around your cock (which, by the way, most of us women can't get off on without some help). The best lovers are adventurous lovers--they are always thinking of new ways to have fun in the bedroom, and they aren't afraid to add toys into the mix. Bad lovers sit around and feel intimidated by vibrators and dildos. If you're really that insecure about your sexual prowess, then guess what? You probably have reason to be--and it's not the sex toy's fault.
I don't NEED lingerie and costumes to be sexually enticing to my partner. I like wearing them sometimes though because it's fun, and it adds variety to our sex lives. It's kind of like saying, "wow, your cooking must be really unsatisfying and not any good at all, because you're shopping for spices." I'm not going to add the spices to every dish, but I am going to experiment with them, find the ones I like, and enjoy the different tastes they add. Who doesn't like cooking with spices?
Sigh...I'm sorry, it just really pisses me off. People are so stupid about sex sometimes, it just makes me want to slap them. We all have our egos wrapped up a bit in our skills as lovers, but there has to be (or there should be) some point where you're mature enough to stop looking for validation from your partners, and start looking at sex as an experience with many different possibilities. Insecure lovers, selfish lovers, immature lovers and unadventurous lovers are BORING. And they suck in bed, but not in a good way. Funny how worrying about what your girlfriend's vibrator says about your sexual skills ends up being that self fulfilling prophecy--congrats; your hang ups are ruining your sex life and the vibrator is probably looking better and better every time your ego rains on what could have been a happy sexual experience. less
I can't help but roll my eyes at men who get all butthurt about the fact that their penis may just not be God's gift to women. Get over yourself. There are countless sexual experiences that you can share with another person, and guess what? They don't all revolve around your cock (which, by the way, most of us women can't get off on without some help). The best lovers are adventurous lovers--they are always thinking of new ways to have fun in the bedroom, and they aren't afraid to add toys into the mix. Bad lovers sit around and feel intimidated by vibrators and dildos. If you're really that insecure about your sexual prowess, then guess what? You probably have reason to be--and it's not the sex toy's fault.
I don't NEED lingerie and costumes to be sexually enticing to my partner. I like wearing them sometimes though because it's fun, and it adds variety to our sex lives. It's kind of like saying, "wow, your cooking must be really unsatisfying and not any good at all, because you're shopping for spices." I'm not going to add the spices to every dish, but I am going to experiment with them, find the ones I like, and enjoy the different tastes they add. Who doesn't like cooking with spices?
Sigh...I'm sorry, it just really pisses me off. People are so stupid about sex sometimes, it just makes me want to slap them. We all have our egos wrapped up a bit in our skills as lovers, but there has to be (or there should be) some point where you're mature enough to stop looking for validation from your partners, and start looking at sex as an experience with many different possibilities. Insecure lovers, selfish lovers, immature lovers and unadventurous lovers are BORING. And they suck in bed, but not in a good way. Funny how worrying about what your girlfriend's vibrator says about your sexual skills ends up being that self fulfilling prophecy--congrats; your hang ups are ruining your sex life and the vibrator is probably looking better and better every time your ego rains on what could have been a happy sexual experience. less
09/23/2012
Cat E.
In no way are toys bad, unless you overuse a vibrator on your clit!
09/23/2012
Quote:
what do u mean?
Originally posted by
Cat E.
In no way are toys bad, unless you overuse a vibrator on your clit!
09/23/2012
Your friend was being a little immature. Toys are a completely different thing than the stimulation you get from another person, and lots of people can't orgasm without a vibrator too. It's nothing against their SO.
09/23/2012
Quote:
They just add to the fun!
Originally posted by
hmb12
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his
...
more
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his penis". I completely disagree, but I want to know what everyone else thinks.
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09/23/2012
Quote:
Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy! I was referring to a general "we're so scared that our penises are inadequate!" crowd of men, like your friend (and yes, please do show him this thread, and perhaps other sources regarding sexuality that will hopefully educate him and reform his immature viewpoint). I am thrilled to hear about relationships where the dude isn't worried about sex toys stealing his thunder, and even more thrilled to hear that he's so into your pleasure, that he's jealous that he can't be there every time to watch you get off! That's a jealousy I can get behind.
Originally posted by
hmb12
Butthurt is probably one of the funniest things I've heard. My boyfriend mostly was just jealous that he couldn't be there when i was masturbating. But in a good way, not in an overbearing way. We're starting to get more and more
...
more
Butthurt is probably one of the funniest things I've heard. My boyfriend mostly was just jealous that he couldn't be there when i was masturbating. But in a good way, not in an overbearing way. We're starting to get more and more interested in toys, and unfortunately we got ripped off big time by one company before we found EF.
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09/23/2012
I think this is my most successful discussion yet. Thanks guys (: I'm definitely not worried about what people outside of my relationship think, and I'm glad you all addressed that. Still, I like to have something to say not only to defend my beliefs, but to hopefully get people more open minded who aren't already.
09/24/2012
Sex toys are a good thing
09/24/2012
I'm going to go out on a limb, without more info, and say a) there might be some other reason your friend is slandering your bf and b) toys can be intimidating to guys, but once they get the benefit, they usually jump right in on the "toys are awesome" train.
If you aren't already having fun with your partner, a toy isn't going to change that..and in fact, you might have a BAD experience with that toy, that you would have loved in other circumstances.
Don't feel bad about shopping around on EF, sex should be fun!!
If you aren't already having fun with your partner, a toy isn't going to change that..and in fact, you might have a BAD experience with that toy, that you would have loved in other circumstances.
Don't feel bad about shopping around on EF, sex should be fun!!
09/29/2012
Quote:
I think that sex toys really just add on to an amazing sex life
Originally posted by
hmb12
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his
...
more
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his penis". I completely disagree, but I want to know what everyone else thinks.
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09/29/2012
Quote:
I'm on here, so it's pretty clear where I stand on the subject but I just got into a fight with a dear friend of 15 years over sex toys and women's power. (which the latter is for another thread another day)
Originally posted by
hmb12
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his
...
more
I had a guy friend tell me that my boyfriend must not be be spicing things up for me, since I've been spending a lot of time looking at toys on EF. At first, my boyfriend felt the same way about my vibrator "being better than his penis". I completely disagree, but I want to know what everyone else thinks.
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The bottom line is:
A. she thinks that the only way she can have pleasure is by waiting around for a male to give it to her (yes, she doesn't masterbate and she does wait around for a guy to have sex with her and then hopes that he's even good in bed).
B. She thinks that I'm going to get too hooked on sex toys and not want a man any more.
However karma is a magical wonderful thing... her brand new boyfriend loves sex toys and has ED. I suspect I will be having a consultation visit from her soon on what toys to buy
09/29/2012
Quote:
I don't get that...I've been masturbating since puberty, and am happily exploring the world of sex toys now, and am having a grand old time, but NOTHING, nothing at all, compares to having a live human being to share my sexuality with. And what the hell? Why does her pleasure depend upon a man to give it to her? Never mind how ridiculous that it, but what a lot of pressure to put on someone else. Sex is a two way (or more) thing.
Originally posted by
Neotigress
I'm on here, so it's pretty clear where I stand on the subject but I just got into a fight with a dear friend of 15 years over sex toys and women's power. (which the latter is for another thread another day)
The bottom line ... more
The bottom line ... more
I'm on here, so it's pretty clear where I stand on the subject but I just got into a fight with a dear friend of 15 years over sex toys and women's power. (which the latter is for another thread another day)
The bottom line is:
A. she thinks that the only way she can have pleasure is by waiting around for a male to give it to her (yes, she doesn't masterbate and she does wait around for a guy to have sex with her and then hopes that he's even good in bed).
B. She thinks that I'm going to get too hooked on sex toys and not want a man any more.
However karma is a magical wonderful thing... her brand new boyfriend loves sex toys and has ED. I suspect I will be having a consultation visit from her soon on what toys to buy less
The bottom line is:
A. she thinks that the only way she can have pleasure is by waiting around for a male to give it to her (yes, she doesn't masterbate and she does wait around for a guy to have sex with her and then hopes that he's even good in bed).
B. She thinks that I'm going to get too hooked on sex toys and not want a man any more.
However karma is a magical wonderful thing... her brand new boyfriend loves sex toys and has ED. I suspect I will be having a consultation visit from her soon on what toys to buy less
She may be full of it, anyway. A shocking number of women today still won't admit to masturbating because we've been raised with the ridiculous notion that sex is shameful, especially for women. Still...what a bunch of crap.
09/29/2012
Some people are just insecure. Toys help you explore on your own, and no one should be ashamed of trying to improve their game
09/29/2012
People have so wierd ideas lol There's nothing wrong with it.
09/30/2012
Quote:
I can understand the potential to get hooked on toys as opposed to people, but I think for most of us that risk is very small indeed. Case in point: my obtaining and use of dildos actually made me want to have actual sex, whereas beforehand I was either "meh" on the subject most of the time or downright disagreeable. And I wasn't disappointed when my chance actually came - toys are nice, people are better.
Originally posted by
Neotigress
I'm on here, so it's pretty clear where I stand on the subject but I just got into a fight with a dear friend of 15 years over sex toys and women's power. (which the latter is for another thread another day)
The bottom line ... more
The bottom line ... more
I'm on here, so it's pretty clear where I stand on the subject but I just got into a fight with a dear friend of 15 years over sex toys and women's power. (which the latter is for another thread another day)
The bottom line is:
A. she thinks that the only way she can have pleasure is by waiting around for a male to give it to her (yes, she doesn't masterbate and she does wait around for a guy to have sex with her and then hopes that he's even good in bed).
B. She thinks that I'm going to get too hooked on sex toys and not want a man any more.
However karma is a magical wonderful thing... her brand new boyfriend loves sex toys and has ED. I suspect I will be having a consultation visit from her soon on what toys to buy less
The bottom line is:
A. she thinks that the only way she can have pleasure is by waiting around for a male to give it to her (yes, she doesn't masterbate and she does wait around for a guy to have sex with her and then hopes that he's even good in bed).
B. She thinks that I'm going to get too hooked on sex toys and not want a man any more.
However karma is a magical wonderful thing... her brand new boyfriend loves sex toys and has ED. I suspect I will be having a consultation visit from her soon on what toys to buy less
And I can't imagine waiting around for someone to give you pleasure. If you want pleasure, why not grab it for yourself? Hoping for someone else to give it to you just puts a lot of pressure on the other person.
Perhaps she should take a look at this thread and see what the toy users are saying. Might help to see that we're not all hopeless addicts. Would love to hear about it if she does indeed come for a consultation.
09/30/2012
This whole "penis is the be-all end-all" view of sex is some bad shit. It is harmful for pretty much everyone.
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful.
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful.
09/30/2012
Quote:
That was a pretty interesting story, I must say. I never thought of there being different "models" for sex, but it does make sense, and explains, at least partly, why people react differently to sex toys.
Originally posted by
Roz W
This whole "penis is the be-all end-all" view of sex is some bad shit. It is harmful for pretty much everyone.
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful. ... more
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful. ... more
This whole "penis is the be-all end-all" view of sex is some bad shit. It is harmful for pretty much everyone.
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful. less
Here is a story about a jealous dude that discusses different models of sex. I think it's useful. less
Love some of the comments, too. Especially when someone pointed out that for some people, sex is not between the participants but between the participants' genitals. If that's the way a person views sex, then some hang-ups once you get to anything besides intercourse are inevitable.
10/01/2012
while good old hands and mouths are just fine, toys are SO MUCH FUN. Unfortunately, some people can feel threatened by them. But have them play with you with the toy, and that way it's a group thing, not just a solo thing. that way they become apart of it.
When I'm feeling naughty, I pull out the hitachi and my wife lights up at the sound of the vibrations. She either takes control, or starts playing with me in other manners. No threat there. Just an aid
When I'm feeling naughty, I pull out the hitachi and my wife lights up at the sound of the vibrations. She either takes control, or starts playing with me in other manners. No threat there. Just an aid
10/01/2012
Quote:
I disagree. Some women are unable to orgasm from just a penis, fingers or tongue. Are they supposed to never have an orgasm just because they can't come without a toy of some sort?
Originally posted by
Pudyqat
I think they are fine as long as the aren't an absolute requirement for getting off -- you know?
10/01/2012
Sex toys aren't bad, nor are they better than sex with a real person. Sex toys won't cuddle with you or kiss you and they're not warm and squishy (or, maybe softer silicone ones soaked in warm water are ). But they do add a little something extra (like fun!) to the real thing.
10/01/2012
Quote:
Yeah, and ever try to talk dirty to a sex toy? They just either sit there, or buzz away, completely indifferent to the bedroom banter. They can't spank you, they can't tie you up, they can't kiss you, they can't tease you, they can't embrace you, pull your hair...oh wait, that's right, they're inanimate objects!
Originally posted by
Apirka
Sex toys aren't bad, nor are they better than sex with a real person. Sex toys won't cuddle with you or kiss you and they're not warm and squishy (or, maybe softer silicone ones soaked in warm water are ). But they do add a little
...
more
Sex toys aren't bad, nor are they better than sex with a real person. Sex toys won't cuddle with you or kiss you and they're not warm and squishy (or, maybe softer silicone ones soaked in warm water are ). But they do add a little something extra (like fun!) to the real thing.
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Do people also get intimidated by their partner masturbating? That the woman might get addicted to her fingers, and a mere hand will replace her lover? I've known women, actually, who feel that way about their men-- you know, the whole, "Why does he masturbate? Am I not enough?!" silliness.
People are so weird about sex. And yet, I'm considered strange for my kinkiness. Oh, what a world...
10/01/2012
sex toys aren't bad
10/01/2012
Don't think sex toys are bad but too much of anything can't be completely good... so long as they aren't being put above the partner then mer
I've never dated a person who was comfortable with sex toys B| which pretty much killed my desire to be with them
being single now though I'd definitely say they've come to replace the act given that I'm not much for one-off's x_x and definitely in no mood to put up with another person to date B|
I've never dated a person who was comfortable with sex toys B| which pretty much killed my desire to be with them
being single now though I'd definitely say they've come to replace the act given that I'm not much for one-off's x_x and definitely in no mood to put up with another person to date B|
10/01/2012