Venting and Question For Girls and The Guys On Ovulation......

Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I'm fuming, so there may be a number of spelling mistakes as I type so fast to get this out.

Last night I was talking to my online Master and we happened to get on the subject of ovulation. He claims we can't tell when we're ovulating unless we use the temperature method. I don't know that every female knows when they are ovulating, but I do know that there's plenty out there who are tuned into their body and know the signs. It took me years to actually notice. Anyway, when I told him this, he tells me it's "bullshit" which totally fired me up cause how dare a guy tell me that I don't know my own body. He has never experienced it, so obviously ya can't tell. Grrrrrrr.
He tells me I should google Evolution on the 'theory'. Or look up some medical journals. I don't need some journal to tell me if I know my own body or not! I'm then told that if I know when I'm ovulating, I should get some "nobel medical prize". That is a total slap in the face to me. For privacy reasons, I won't/can't paste the entire conversation, so it may not seem like any big deal to most. I guess I'm fuming and feeling low because of being spoken to like that by someone I HAD high respect for. Clearly, he thinks I just talk and think shit. I put it down to him being highly intelligent and this to me, says he sees me as beneath him - and not just in a Dom/sub situation.
Is this a form of him breaking me down so low that I won't want to think for myself and he can then just pass all his believes onto me? Or am I over reacting and being too sensitive?

I think I'm almost done in this situation and it's kinda turning me off ever finding a Dom in person, cause I don't think I can deal with the arrogance. I want someone who can respect me and what I know or believe in. I believe everyone deserves respect, even if they are a sub! It's not the first time I have been told that something I believe in or enjoy is "bullshit". After watching what my mum went through for years, I can't allow myself to be treated like crap!

Hopefully I can get on and enjoy the rest of my day now that I have let that bit of steam out.
Thanks for listening and thank goodness for a place like Eden!

So how many girls out there know when they are ovulating?
And how many guys can tell when their female partner is going through ovulation by the signs?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Girls
30  (88%)
Guys
4  (12%)
Total votes: 34
Poll is closed
12/18/2011
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Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I think he needs a nice strong Domme to put him in his place
12/18/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Quote:
Originally posted by CoffeeCup
I think he needs a nice strong Domme to put him in his place
Hehehe - thanks for making me smile!
12/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Yeesh. no offense hun, but it sounds like he may need to talk to more women. I know when I'm ovulating because my ovaries start to mildly hurt and my sex drive spikes. I'm pretty sure that I don't need someone else to tell me that I don't know my own body when I've been ovulating and menstruating for over 8 years.

Most women who are in tune with their body can estimate when they're ovulating. I've only known a few women who are unsure.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Damn it - I stuffed up and didn't do a "can't tell" voting section.
Do'h!
12/18/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
Yeesh. no offense hun, but it sounds like he may need to talk to more women. I know when I'm ovulating because my ovaries start to mildly hurt and my sex drive spikes. I'm pretty sure that I don't need someone else to tell me that I ... more
Thanks. I knew I wasn't wrong on this subject!
But there's no point pointing it out to him, cause he would never admit he was in the wrong.
I agree - he needs to ask females about this - not turn to some nob who thinks they know enough to write a medical journal.

But at least I know I'm correct. Thanks
12/18/2011
Contributor: bluekaren bluekaren
Not to burst your bubble but I tried the ovulating by checking you discharge listing to body signs (I forget what the method is called) thingy and I ended up pregnant anyways....
12/18/2011
Contributor: klyte klyte
It sounds like a difficult situation and I hope things clear up for you. :/ He can't really tell you you don't know your own body, you know?
12/18/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
i personally can't tell, but i know there are women who do. don't let his arrogance get you down! fuck 'em.

12/18/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
What a fecking prig. The sheer disrespect to you disgusts me. Masters should treat their subs better than that!
12/18/2011
Contributor: GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
He's an arse for treating you that way. I don't know when I'm ovulating, but then again I haven't had a period for over 3 years thanks to my depo. Nor do I ever need to keep track of it as I'm not having children (getting sterilized,whoo!). But I do think some women know when they're fertile, it's so different for every uterus-bearer out there though.
12/18/2011
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
Definitely not something to tell your sub, they're a submissive, not a doormat.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Oh Shellz!

On the actual topic of the argument, I can tell when I'm ovulating from my left ovary because it gives me a twinge for the day+- surrounding, but the right one doesn't so I check my temperature too. But every woman's different, so it might be possible for a scholar to publish an article saying it's impossible---but there are also articles published saying the G-Spot doesn't exist! It's always good to read outside opinions... but I, personally, have very good anecdotal evidence that makes me believe the G-Spot exists, no matter what I might read.

But aside from the topic of the argument---it really sounds like he wasn't respecting you. If that's a trend rather than just you both randomly having a bad day on the same day, I think I would be upset if I was in your shoes also. Both members of a relationship need to be able to respect each other---whether that's an egalitarian relationship or a Dom/sub relationship. If a person (whether or not a Dom) doesn't want to accept data that you have collected from your own senses, and will have an argument about it instead of coming to a common ground compromise, that person might not be the best for your mental health to be around.

A decent compromise, to my mind, would be "Okay, I see that your body tells you when you're ovulating---but since I'm relying on second-hand feedback because I can't sense your hormone levels, it still makes me nervous, so we should use an additional form of birth control as well." That way, even if he doesn't think your claim makes sense (which is his right) at least he's just protecting himself against possible negative consequences while still acknowledging that you know your body better than anyone else does.

Anyway. My two cents. But I hope your day improves!
12/18/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Thanks all.
I'm feeling better after reading the comments.

I'm also starting to think that he may not think he needs to have respect for me cause I'm only an online sub. But even so, he should still have respect if he wants me to stick around.
I guess he just isn't the right Master for me in any situation.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Oh Shellz!

On the actual topic of the argument, I can tell when I'm ovulating from my left ovary because it gives me a twinge for the day+- surrounding, but the right one doesn't so I check my temperature too. But every woman's ... more
I agree. I'd be frecked out if I was a guy and someone I was sleeping with just wanted to use that method to prevent getting pregnant.
I don't want kids, so I'd never rely on that. That wasn't even the point in his and my conversation last night, so I know he wasn't concerned about me getting pregnant. It's only an online thing so there's no sex involved. We have mentioned about meeting up for fun at times. But I have been thinking about not allowing it for a little while now and this last chat confirmed it for me. I'm not going to sleep with someone who has no respect for me. I don't want to be another notch for him to boost his ego!

My left ovary does the same twinging. Sometimes it's a lot more noticeable than other times. And sometimes it does it regularly, other times I don't feel any twinges, but still know by the change in bodily fluid.
I even spoke to mum about it and she can tell when she is ovulating as well.

He has really turned me off with this one and I'm not sure if I can recover enough from it..... even if he was to apologize - which I could never see him ever doing.
12/18/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I'm fuming, so there may be a number of spelling mistakes as I type so fast to get this out.

Last night I was talking to my online Master and we happened to get on the subject of ovulation. He claims we can't tell when we're ... more
He needs to slap himself and go talk to a OBGYN. I would revisit whether he is worth being a sub to, seems inapropriate to me for him to tell YOU what you feel inside your own body. There's a serious violation of trust and common sense there.
I know EXACTLY when I am ovulating because I feel a slight pinch when the egg bursts out of the ovary and my sex drive goes haywire. I flush easily and cry often letting me know my body is reaching maximum fertility...and I have used an ovulation predictor to avoid pregnancy so I KNOW these are the symptoms of ovulation.
It is patently ridiculous for a guy without a medical degree....no I said it right A GUY to tell a woman what she feels in her body. It's wrong for anyone regardless of gender but I have news for Mr. Dom...there IS a G spot and we women know exactly how to find it with or without the belief of men!
You know your body, trust it and don't let ANYONE tell you different!

Hun, an ethical Dom wouldn't make you feel inferior through words or deeds. He would love and respect your intelligence and enjoy pushing your boundaries WITH you building you up rather than tearing you down. GO on looking...he's out there somewhere!
12/18/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by CoffeeCup
I think he needs a nice strong Domme to put him in his place
So true! Many women can feel the release of an egg because of the bursting follicle. It's actually more common than people realize and if you are in tune with your body there is no reason you shouldn't notice. He needs to do his research!
12/18/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
My husband can tell when I am ovulating (if I am not on birth control) and when I am going to start my period (and not because of PMS!).
12/19/2011
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I'm fuming, so there may be a number of spelling mistakes as I type so fast to get this out.

Last night I was talking to my online Master and we happened to get on the subject of ovulation. He claims we can't tell when we're ... more
I can sort of tell when I am ovulating. I tend to be a lot more hornier during ovulation. I'd get weird fantasies.
12/19/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I can't say anything that hasn't already been well said. So I'll just add some more hugs, and remind you that you AREN'T crazy!

When I ovulated, I always got pain more from one side than other, so I always knew which ovary was releasing the egg that month. Now I've been on the pill for so long that I can barely remember... but you know what you know about your body. And you do deserve respect from your Dom, and I'm glad you know that!
12/19/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
I can sometimes tell if my GF is ovulating - not always though because sometimes she's away or I'm distracted/busy and not tuned into her body specifically. She smells sweeter and more fragrant than usual during ovulation, and her sex drive increases. Both of those are wonderful things

Why do you have that online "Master" who doesn't know #@@# anyways?

You should flip it on him and ask him if he's in tune with his male hormone cycle. That should make things a lot more interesting.

link
12/19/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I can usually (but not always).
12/19/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple


What a doof !

Ovulating is a large and relatively taxing biological event - and there are certainly signs other than temperature alone.

I noticed it as a young teenager - in the middle of my cycle, I'd notice random ovary pains and heavier discharge - so I looked it up and found out about ovulation (which wasn't really covered in school).

There are most certainly medically verified signs.
12/19/2011
Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
Out of curiosity, I asked one of my subs if I am arrogant. He nearly died laughing.

So, not all dominants are arrogant. And from my experience as a dominant, you really need to have some kind of respect for your subs, in order to be successful.

It sounds to me like he just isn't a very good master. Not only does he need a good strong Domme to put him in his place, he needs a good strong Domme to show him how its really done!



P.S. I've been on birth control and haven't ovulated for a very long time, but when I did. I could tell.
12/19/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I can tell, I use the position of my cervix and my cervical mucus to tell, but barring that, I also get ovulation cramps, so it's pretty obvious to me. My lover can usually tell, too, though because I tend to act like a bitch in heat and cannot get my mind out of the gutter.
12/19/2011
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I don't normally ovulate because of birth control pills, but when I do I can tell pretty easily. I don't think my fiance would be able to tell.
12/19/2011
Contributor: karay123 karay123
I know for sure. Your cervical mucus increases. I didn't notice it as much before my I had my son (who is my 2nd) but after him, I REALLY notice.
12/19/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Thanks all

We spoke about it against last night cause I just wasn't feeling comfortable about the whole situation.
He thought I was talking about telling when a female on the street (when passing by) was ovulating. I naturally just assumed he knew I meant the female herself or her sexual partner would know by viewing the mucus. But we were clearly on opposite wave lengths that evening. So I have to take some blame for that.

I'm thinking he probably hasn't experienced it from past relationships cause they would have been on the pill. That might explain things - some.

I also told him that I find it insulting when someone I care about says something I believe is "bullshit". That seems to be his way of being blunt with no insult intended. Normally I'm up for blunt, but I didn't deal well hearing it from him.
I HOPE that in future he will tone that bluntness down when in my company.
I'd also like to hope he is different in person ... I know it's harder online cause ya can't hear the tone in the person's voice and I have taken other things the very wrong way. And he has also (like in this subject) taken things the wrong way with what I have said. I have a thing of often thinking something, but not explaining it fully cause in my mind, I know exactly what I mean. I know I have done that in the odd review and had to go back to fix it up cause to someone else it doesn't come across in the way I mean it...lol.
Not to make excuses for him, but I'm wondering if I'm (by no means fully to blame) but I perhaps didn't handle the situation in the light manner it was said in - I put too much focus on the negative side of it. Like mum said today, I have a habit of doing that when I'm in a certain mood.

Still, he does have an arrogant side. I know I do too....hehehe.
He is self-taught, so he has his own style which is what I fell for. He is my first Dom. I was on a Dom/sub site and I wasn't keen on what the Doms there expected from their subs. I know I wouldn't fit in with their style. I also need a Dom who is extremely patient and can deal with me when I have my rebel moments...hehe. I couldn't be the 'perfect' sub all the time - it's not me and I'd get bored. I often wonder how many Doms are out there who are the style I require.

I haven't noticed if I'm hornier around ovulation or not. I think I'm pretty even all the way through. But then, I have a high sex drive anyway. I'm going to take more notice though cause most say they are hornier.
12/20/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I'm the SAME way. I'd have been steaming hot if someone, especially someone that cannot know for sure, told me I didn't know my body! Pisses me off! Actually, it's totally possible to know when you're ovulating. It isn't hard to learn the changes. The first few days of your period or right before you feel more confident, during or before your period you know it's coming because the symptoms. YOU CAN know when you are ovulating too.
12/20/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Talking is the best.

Now that you mention knowing if OTHER women are ovulating...

I remember a study they did that showed strippers got more tips than average when ovulating, fewer on their period - and ones on BC were "average" all the time.

Maybe it was behaviour, maybe it was some subtle physical hint - the look of the body, one of those imperceptible smells, I don't know.
12/20/2011