The New Intimacy

Sex Fact: Breaking the Hymen

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Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Contrary to previous beliefs, the hymen does not signify the status of a virgin. In our active lifestyles, hymens can be torn a variety of ways. When the hymen tears, some women bleed, but other women will have no blood. The amount of pain she experiences (if/when it tears) during sex is also unique to a woman's body well.

Learn more sex facts like this in the Vagina: An Owner's Manual book.

Do you remember the first time you had sex? Was there a lot of pain? Was there blood? (You can speak for your partner at the time as well.)
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, I remember the first time I had sex.
161
No, I don't remember the first time I had sex.
2
The first time I had sex was uncomfortable.
58
The first time I had sex was painful.
55
There was no pain the first time I had sex.
55
There was a lot of blood the first time I had sex.
8
There was a bit of blood the first time I had sex.
38
There was no blood the first time I had sex.
102
Total votes: 479 (184 voters)
Poll is closed
03/21/2011
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
My hymen had been broken with a strong kick while horsing around when I was 8 or 9 I think. It bled a little bit then, but I had no bleeding or pain when I first had sex.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
I broke my own during masturbation.. but it didn't hurt nor did I bleed.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
My hymen was broken well before I had sex. Don't remember how and don't remember any blood. The first time I had sex it was painful as I wasn't sufficiently aroused.
03/21/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I don't remember even having a noticeable hymen. Some women have very thick ones, some have "inperforate hymens" which don't have holes in them, or only small holes, some women have little evidence of hymen at all.

I know My Man was training me for PIV sex and we did a lot of finger play. My guess is, if I ever had a hymen, he stretched it gradually.

A bad thing happened to me when I was a kid, long before I met My Man or started dating, but I refuse to give that pig (the child molester) any credit for alerting me in any way.
03/21/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
It is true the not every woman is going to bleed when they break their hymen. It's also true that a lot of women break it before they even have sex.

That being said..

I broke mine when I was six. I fell on the middle portion of my bike. Bled a lot. Scared my mom to death. And then when I had sex for the first time, I bled and it was painful..
03/21/2011
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
My hymen broke while being fingered by a guy who had very big hands. It didn't hurt but I did bleed afterwards.
03/21/2011
Contributor: ColorSplash ColorSplash
Virgin: I actually didn't know that.. you learn a lot of stuff each day.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
I remember the first time I had sex. Backseat of a car, I didn't mind that at all. Wasn't in pain really at all(muscle relaxers work wonders). There was a very little bit of blood but that was about 15 mins after the sex had ended before it came out of me.
03/21/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I don't remember mine breaking, but the first time I had sex there was no pain and no blood.
03/21/2011
Contributor: LadyEarlGrey LadyEarlGrey
Not the first time but the second or third time I had sex I did bleed. My guy (now husband) was afraid he had done something really wrong.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Lithaewyn Lithaewyn
I don't think I had a thick hymen or fully intact one the first time I had sex. I had already been masturbating regularly by then, but when I had sex for the first time it was uncomfortable and I did bleed a little.

I don't remember anything about my hymen prior to then.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I did not bleed. There was discomfort but no real pain that I can remember.
03/21/2011
Contributor: null null
I didn't bleed at all when I had sex with my first boyfriend, but with my second I bled a lot :/
03/21/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by null
I didn't bleed at all when I had sex with my first boyfriend, but with my second I bled a lot :/
Me too. The first guy was average sized. The second was quite large. With the second guy it hurt and I bled a lot.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
I don't remember mine breaking, but the first time I had sex there was no pain and no blood.
same here. I had been expecting it to hurt and was kind of worried about it, but I had no issues at all
03/21/2011
Contributor: joja joja
I don't ever recall having my hymen break. I started masturbating at 10 or 11 and inserted various household objects without pain. Sex wasn't painful the first time even though the guy was rather large.
03/21/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I broke my own during masturbation.. but it didn't hurt nor did I bleed.
I broke my own, but it hurt horribly and I bled.
03/22/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
My hymen broke earlier than the first time I had sex...but it was still painful and there was a little bit of blood
03/22/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
I recall a split second of pain, but then it faded into nice feelings. As for blood I have no idea because I was on my period at the time and so there was unrelated blood confusing things
03/22/2011
Contributor: Airekah Airekah
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Contrary to previous beliefs, the hymen does not signify the status of a virgin. In our active lifestyles, hymens can be torn a variety of ways. When the hymen tears, some women bleed, but other women will have no blood. The amount of pain she ... more
I don't remember there being any bleeding or pain. Just discomfort.
03/22/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Contrary to previous beliefs, the hymen does not signify the status of a virgin. In our active lifestyles, hymens can be torn a variety of ways. When the hymen tears, some women bleed, but other women will have no blood. The amount of pain she ... more
Very painful, no blood
03/23/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I have no idea when my hymen was broken.
03/23/2011
Contributor: sbon sbon
I don't know when my hymen was broken. The first time I had sex, it was painful for a moment. Then it was a little uncomfortable, and then it felt great. There was no blood.
03/24/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
No blood but LOTS of pain
03/24/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I broke my own during masturbation.. but it didn't hurt nor did I bleed.
I think this happened for me as well.

It was uncomfortable and nearly no blood during first intercourse.
03/24/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I find it interesting how people can have such differing experiences. My first time was extremely painful (more than I expected it to be), but there was only a fairly small amount of blood (I expected a LOT given how much it hurt). I did use junior-sized tampons since I was 15 though, so perhaps that helped (it was painful just getting those in the first few months, so they must have gradually stretched my hymen a bit).

Looking at the poll and noting that more women than not voted that they did not bleed upon their first intercourse, I can't help but worry about the safety of women who live in a so-called Culture of Honor and who do not produce blood upon consummation of their marriages.
03/25/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Contrary to previous beliefs, the hymen does not signify the status of a virgin. In our active lifestyles, hymens can be torn a variety of ways. When the hymen tears, some women bleed, but other women will have no blood. The amount of pain she ... more
A little pain and a little blood
03/25/2011
Contributor: Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
I remember. There was no pain or blood. It took till about my 12th time. It takes allot of banging to actually make allot of women bleed. Especially if they are used to tampons and toys.
03/27/2011
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Painful, and I bled. Neither of us were expecting blood.
03/27/2011