He should have told her. When she found out he had it, she needed to think twice about continuing to sleep with someone who didn't value her enough to be honest. When she continued to sleep with him, she decided it would be ok if she contracted it.
Found out your partner was infected with genital herpes.
07/10/2012
I never have been with someone who had an STD, but it I was in her situation, it would have truly depending on how much I cared about the person. I've dealt with my husband having hidden and lied about things before and we were able to work through it. I think even though she put herself at risk by continuing to sleep with him, she has the right to be angry with how the relationship ended, and angry at herself for not doing something.
07/10/2012
I wouldn't sleep with anyone who was infected. While your friend did take the risk, she still has the rights to whatever she feels.
07/10/2012
Herpes is not the end of the world. She made her decisions, she'll have to live with them.
07/10/2012
Quote:
Herpes isn't a death sentence. It's manageable. 1 in 6 sexually active adults are infected with herpes. That's pretty high odds. Herpes can be transmitted even when using a condom, even if the person is not showing any symptoms at the time.
Originally posted by
Miss Anonymous
My problem is also her attitude to it, because it isn't HIV or something serious like that it's not as serious? She acts as if he just passed her the flu. She knows how I feel about the situation.
I'm not gonna shut my mouth for ... more
I'm not gonna shut my mouth for ... more
My problem is also her attitude to it, because it isn't HIV or something serious like that it's not as serious? She acts as if he just passed her the flu. She knows how I feel about the situation.
I'm not gonna shut my mouth for her and she knows it. I would have been a MILLION times more supportive to her if she caught and and had NO IDEA, but the fact that she knew and continued is what kills me.
This isn't a situation of trial. Its not like she even loved the guy, when I asked her about it she just said "nope". I could understand risking it for the one you LOVE.
I don't support stupidity. less
I'm not gonna shut my mouth for her and she knows it. I would have been a MILLION times more supportive to her if she caught and and had NO IDEA, but the fact that she knew and continued is what kills me.
This isn't a situation of trial. Its not like she even loved the guy, when I asked her about it she just said "nope". I could understand risking it for the one you LOVE.
I don't support stupidity. less
I am not sure why you are being so harsh toward your friend.
Would you feel the same way if she contracted HPV? or is it the stigma of herpes that bothers you?
What does love have to do with sex? They aren't synonymous. Who she chooses to have sex with, when, and how often, is her decision. It's her body, she is free to take whatever risks/precautions that she is comfortable with.
I am frankly, blown away by your attitude towards her - you are calling your friend stupid. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
07/10/2012
Quote:
I am not sure how I would react if my guys were infected with an STD that has no cure.
Originally posted by
Miss Anonymous
I recently got back in touch with an old friend. And we were talking and she was telling me about past relationships and how her last one just ended.
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the ... more
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the ... more
I recently got back in touch with an old friend. And we were talking and she was telling me about past relationships and how her last one just ended.
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the relationship she was contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends telling her that he gave her herpes. She ended up confronting him about it and he didn’t deny it.
Now this is where I had a problem with it…
Even after knowing about him having herpes, she still kept sleeping with him. It was protected sex (so she says), but for some reason I can’t seem to be okay with that. First he didn’t even tell her himself, she found out from someone else.
When I asked her why she continued to sleep with him, she said she didn’t want to be judgmental and she wanted to give him a chance. My thing is he didn’t even tell you he had this himself, so he risked infected you!
They ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, and now she’s going to get tested and she’s talking as if she would be pissed if he gave it to her, but she took the chance when she knowingly slept with him.
What do you think about the situation? less
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the relationship she was contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends telling her that he gave her herpes. She ended up confronting him about it and he didn’t deny it.
Now this is where I had a problem with it…
Even after knowing about him having herpes, she still kept sleeping with him. It was protected sex (so she says), but for some reason I can’t seem to be okay with that. First he didn’t even tell her himself, she found out from someone else.
When I asked her why she continued to sleep with him, she said she didn’t want to be judgmental and she wanted to give him a chance. My thing is he didn’t even tell you he had this himself, so he risked infected you!
They ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, and now she’s going to get tested and she’s talking as if she would be pissed if he gave it to her, but she took the chance when she knowingly slept with him.
What do you think about the situation? less
07/10/2012
Quote:
What does love have to do with sex? They aren't synonymous. Who she chooses to have sex with, when, and how often, is her decision. It's her body, she is free to take whatever risks/precautions that she is comfortable with.
Originally posted by
MGDavicnigirl
Herpes isn't a death sentence. It's manageable. 1 in 6 sexually active adults are infected with herpes. That's pretty high odds. Herpes can be transmitted even when using a condom, even if the person is not showing any symptoms at the
...
more
Herpes isn't a death sentence. It's manageable. 1 in 6 sexually active adults are infected with herpes. That's pretty high odds. Herpes can be transmitted even when using a condom, even if the person is not showing any symptoms at the time.
I am not sure why you are being so harsh toward your friend.
Would you feel the same way if she contracted HPV? or is it the stigma of herpes that bothers you?
What does love have to do with sex? They aren't synonymous. Who she chooses to have sex with, when, and how often, is her decision. It's her body, she is free to take whatever risks/precautions that she is comfortable with.
I am frankly, blown away by your attitude towards her - you are calling your friend stupid. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? less
I am not sure why you are being so harsh toward your friend.
Would you feel the same way if she contracted HPV? or is it the stigma of herpes that bothers you?
What does love have to do with sex? They aren't synonymous. Who she chooses to have sex with, when, and how often, is her decision. It's her body, she is free to take whatever risks/precautions that she is comfortable with.
I am frankly, blown away by your attitude towards her - you are calling your friend stupid. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? less
Bingo!
07/10/2012
It was her choice to continue sleeping with him, and I think she had the responsibility to protect herself.
07/10/2012
Well, I imagine anyone would be angry if they had herpes. But she can't really actively be angry at him for giving it to her, since she was fully aware.
07/12/2012
The herpes isn't the problem. The not telling her about is messed up. I don't know why she would not have ended it right there. That being said, she continued to sleep with him after this. If she is infected, she should be just as angry at herself as him.
My partner has herpes. He was honest about it before we were intimate and we take extra, extra precautions. I could still get infected but I will not be angry with him. If he didn't tell me about it, I would be pissed even if I didn't get infected and somehow found out on my own.
My partner has herpes. He was honest about it before we were intimate and we take extra, extra precautions. I could still get infected but I will not be angry with him. If he didn't tell me about it, I would be pissed even if I didn't get infected and somehow found out on my own.
07/17/2012
Quote:
I wouldn't sleep with someone with herpes.
Originally posted by
Miss Anonymous
I recently got back in touch with an old friend. And we were talking and she was telling me about past relationships and how her last one just ended.
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the ... more
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the ... more
I recently got back in touch with an old friend. And we were talking and she was telling me about past relationships and how her last one just ended.
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the relationship she was contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends telling her that he gave her herpes. She ended up confronting him about it and he didn’t deny it.
Now this is where I had a problem with it…
Even after knowing about him having herpes, she still kept sleeping with him. It was protected sex (so she says), but for some reason I can’t seem to be okay with that. First he didn’t even tell her himself, she found out from someone else.
When I asked her why she continued to sleep with him, she said she didn’t want to be judgmental and she wanted to give him a chance. My thing is he didn’t even tell you he had this himself, so he risked infected you!
They ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, and now she’s going to get tested and she’s talking as if she would be pissed if he gave it to her, but she took the chance when she knowingly slept with him.
What do you think about the situation? less
She was dating a guy and they were sexually active (protected so she says)during the relationship she was contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends telling her that he gave her herpes. She ended up confronting him about it and he didn’t deny it.
Now this is where I had a problem with it…
Even after knowing about him having herpes, she still kept sleeping with him. It was protected sex (so she says), but for some reason I can’t seem to be okay with that. First he didn’t even tell her himself, she found out from someone else.
When I asked her why she continued to sleep with him, she said she didn’t want to be judgmental and she wanted to give him a chance. My thing is he didn’t even tell you he had this himself, so he risked infected you!
They ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, and now she’s going to get tested and she’s talking as if she would be pissed if he gave it to her, but she took the chance when she knowingly slept with him.
What do you think about the situation? less
07/17/2012
Quote:
You probably wouldn't know if they had it. At least half the people with the herpes virus have ONE attack and never have an other one, yet they carry the virus in their nerve cells and can, at least in theory transmit it to someone else. (Although that is improbable.) People with herpes don't walk around with The Mark of Cain on their foreheads. Unless they are having an obvious attack, (and chances are you're already naked by the point where you'd notice, IF you notice at all) you'd never know someone carries the virus.
Originally posted by
Missmarc
I wouldn't sleep with someone with herpes.
It isn't the end of the world. Like I said (and people want to ignore) NINETY SEVEN or more per cent of the population have the herpes virus in their bodies by the age of 45 or 50! At least half of the population have the virus in their bodies by the age of 25.
Everyone who says, "I'd never sleep with anyone with herpes" probably already has, if you look at the stats.
Fear for fears' sake is ridiculous. It doesn't kill people ("putting her life at risk" ridiculous) it usually burns itself out in 10 to 15 years and many people only have ONE outbreak. Some people NEVER have a visible or detectable outbreak, yet carry the virus.
My point is you'd most likely never know if someone you have had sex with has herpes or not.
Yes, they should say something IF they know they have it. But at least half of the people who carry the virus don't even know they have it And regular testing when you aren't having an outbreak can lead to a false negative while you may still carry the virus. There are more expensive tests that can test for the antibody in blood, but sometimes the virus isn't even present in blood, (it hides in nerve cells) and even that test can cause a false negative.
Much ado about nothing, IMO.
07/18/2012
I don't think I would date someone with an STD because I don't really like condoms. And if my current boyfriend had one, I'd check myself out immediately because he was tested before I had sex with him. His ex was a big cheater, and he didn't trust her much.
10/31/2012
He wasn't truthful about his herpes, and this is wrong. Many time you just blindly trust people.
If it happened to me he would have been gone in a split second. I don't put up with lying.
Also, everyone should be cautious with sexual partners, use protection, and always get tested just in case.
It sounds like she sort of likes the drama?
If it happened to me he would have been gone in a split second. I don't put up with lying.
Also, everyone should be cautious with sexual partners, use protection, and always get tested just in case.
It sounds like she sort of likes the drama?
11/01/2012
The fact that he didn't tell her beforehand is the thing that really bothers me. Herpes just isn't that big of a deal. It's not life threatening, and in lots of people it doesn't really effect their general quality of life. I've never had genital herpes, but I get cold sores maybe once or twice a year. It's annoying, and I know it would be more annoying if I were to get them on my genitals, but it's not that bad. If a partnter was to tell me they had herpes, it wouldn't keep me from sleeping with them provided some general precautions were taken. I just think that people who know they have some sort of communicable condition should let people know before they put them at risk.
11/01/2012
Total posts: 45
Unique posters: 31
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