True. The "it's still an option tomorrow if you can make it through today" made it manageable to just think about now and save the future for the future. What stopped me is that my Parents don't deserve to suffer that sort of tragedy. I'm an only child, and I just couldn't do that to them.

In addition to attracting the 'crazies,' I'm also the go-to for the 'normals' who get themselves into fucked-up situations and don't know where else to turn. They know that, if I haven't actually done worse myself, I've most certainly heard worse.

I think I straddle the line between 'normal' and 'nutso.' I help stabilize my less-than-stable friends, and teach my sensible friends to not fear their inner idiot.

I don't do well with counselors--they generally look at me within half and hour or so and go "why exactly are you here?" Many people don't realize it's possible to be intelligent, self-aware, and crazy at the same time. I'm good at working myself on the problems I can fix without having to hug myself or frolic in gardens and shit. I think therapists that try to 'solve' problems overlook the simple fact there are problems that can't be fixed. It's called "life." I think it's more effective to learn to live with the things that don't go away than to hide or deny them. less