The youngest age shown was 15 so I chose that...but I was actually more like 12. I have always been comfortable with my body and started feeling around, I guess. I got scared at first because I had no idea what had happened but I liked it and did it again LOL. I didn't know they were orgasms until later.

I had a similar experience-- I was 5 years old when I found a Wahl Massager in my house. For the life of me I don't know how I got the idea into my head but I decided to turn it on and press it over my panties. I was so excited about how good it felt that the next day I showed my friend how to do it. And then she told on me! My mom had a talk with me about how what I did was ok, but that it was something I should keep private. I've always had a problem with only hearing the bad side, though, so for years I was intensely ashamed of my masturbation (I craved that feeling so much that all that shame couldn't keep me from touching, though.)

I used whatever was available to me to get off-- body massagers, vibrating pens, pillows, stuffed animals, mattresses, bath tub faucets, removable shower heads, tub jets, but it wasn't until I was much older (within the past couple years) that I could actually get myself off with just my hands. Even more recent is the ability to have vaginal orgasms, but for me those are more difficult to come by . I think I've had orgasms ever since I started masturbating but they matured as I did and got bigger and better.

I attribute that more to inevitable biological development and less with positive psychological development because a few years ago my persistent depression became so severe I completely lost my sex drive and any ability to feel sexual pleasure. I don't remember a lot about this time but my husband (then fiance) says I told him "I don't ever want to have sex again"! And yet he still married me and here I am posting on a sex forum.

So, I would agree with everyone that psychology and state of mind probably plays the biggest part in being able to enjoy sex and have orgasms. I'm practicing introspection, acceptance and forgiveness every hour of every day to keep my depression at bay and while my sex drive isn't quite where I'd like it to be, I have greater confidence and ability in myself and my sex life.

Other advice? I've learned through persistence and hard work (it seems so weird that good sex is something you have to work at) that the dishes in the sink are less important than me and my happiness. By repeating the idea that it's forgivable to leave a chore undone or a task unfinished I've freed my heart and mind to enjoy a lot more fooling around and in the end it makes me a lot happier than it would have to clean the kitchen instead.

That being said! I still find a clean, tidy room incredibly helpful. If, while having sex, I look over my lover's shoulder and see a dirty plate sitting on the table I'm instantly taken out of my fantasy and my arousal is set back a few rounds.

I still have trouble with a lack of foreplay that goes beyond oral sex. I think the longer and more creative a foreplay session gets the better I feel having sex and the more capable I am of having great orgasms. I'm still learning to communicate openly about sex, especially the sex that I want, but I've found it helpful to swap fantasies. Lately my fantasies have been focused around foreplay so hopefully I'm planting some seeds

I agree with this 100%. Also, until I started masturbating regularly and using toys and such, I could not orgasm with a partner. You have to know your body, know it well, before you can even begin to tell your partner what you like, how to do it, how to make you come. They certainly aren't going to be able to know what you like. There is no exact formula for orgasm. What works for one, may not work for another. Every body is different, physically, anatomically, emotionally. You may be able to, by trial and error with your partner, learn together what makes you come, but it's bound to take a while. There is too much involved in sex with your partner to really focus on figuring yourself out. Feelings get hurt, or for fear of hurting ones feelings, you may hold back or give up if it takes too long, or worse yet, fake an orgasm to make him feel better. Then he thinks he knows how to make you come, so he keeps doing that and you keep faking cause you don't wanna let on that you faked the last time... it's a vicious cycle, one I was in for a long time. I finally had to admit to my partner that I had never had a real orgasm with him, and I am sure you can imagine what that did to our sex life after that.

Agreed!

Honestly to get all the way to married with two kids and never had an orgasm - I'd have to say something is wrong. Personally that's my mission - to make sure my girl has at least two every time! Many would suggest figuring it out solo - then teaching/guiding your husband about how to do it.

Does he know you've never had an orgasm? If so, does he care? If not, shouldn't you discuss it with him? I'm totally unqualified to give professional advise - maybe you should consider some professional help.

First oral O was the best though!

I believe I was 13/14. Solo.