Females: At what age did you have your first orgasm? Or have you not had an orgasm yet? If so was it solo or with a partner? And was it during oral sex, or penetration?
Also, as Newme21 states, a lot of pleasure comes with getting comfortable in your own skin. I used to be a skinny little thing with curves in all the right places. I have gained a lot of weight since then, but because I was so slender for so long, I have had a war with myself over the changes my body has gone through. Some days I accept it, some days I have a harder time with it, especially features I used to LOVE, like my ass. To me, it has seemed now that it is too big, too this, too that. A very dear male friend saw a photo of it recently and proceeded to announce that it was sexy as hell. Several times. Now, my husband has said this as well, but he's a bit biased.. But with someone else saying it as well, it makes me feel a lot better and I am more accepting of it as it is. The same friend has told me on more than one occasion to 'take a compliment, dammit!' and as I get older, I am learning to take them. Not just say 'thank you' and go on, but really take it to heart and to let the negativity roll off. I vividly remember being your age (I'm not that far from it) and some of the hardest times I had with being accepting of myself were right around that time and the sexual pleasure I had then really showed it. It was often, quite frankly, lacking. The point I am trying to make with this rather long winded post is that it can be a struggle to get beyond your upbringing and issues with your perceived flaws, but it can be done and once you start working on it instead of focusing so intensely on achieving a climax and are comfortable enough with yourself to lay back and enjoy yourself as yourself by yourself, I will not be surprised if that orgasm you are seeking doesn't just slip up on you as a very pleasant surprise.
If you feel comfortable with it, please let us know your progress. You have a forum full of cheerleaders here, just relax and go with it!

My first orgasm was some years later (alone) but my early masturbation sessions were very pleasurable.

I remember how nice it felt that first time, then the orgasm hit. I had a vague idea that's what it was, and I was always eager to explore it. It felt like I climaxed forever, the pulsing and tension just would not end. Fun times those were in the bathtub. ^_^
I've never believed masturbation was bad, either inside or outside a relationship. It's not hurting anyone and it's pleasing, all the power to you - you deserve to find out what your body can do.
Since solo masturbation was my introduction to sex, I've come to find my involvement the most important component of any sexual experience. I cannot orgasm without help from myself; sex is nice and very fun but nobody knows my body like I do. Truthfully, I prefer to start a sexual relationship with masturbation: my partner can see my sensitive preferences and I get the cheat-sheet of how she needs to be touched; targets that make him shy away or rock-hard.
i think it is horrible when a parent makes you feel like masturbation is evil or messed up or something. i think it is horrible when society makes women feel like they are nympho sluts if they masturbate, opposed to a man masturbating they make it into some teenage sex comedy like american pie. i went out with guys that would say "man, you are such a little nympho aren't you? " or you are freaky " when i told them that i masturbated and how i masturbated and how many times a week i did it. they couldn't understand why i would need to masturbate if i was having sex with them. like...they felt somehow insulted if i masturbated. so for foreplay it was like hard showing them where i wanted things because they made me feel like i was some oversexed love kitten. they didn't mind touching and getting me around down there, but i found that they weren't as good because they weren't really willing to listen to me and what i was asking for. i found sexual communication was horrible when the guy couldn't respect my comfort with my own sexuality and masturbation. it's like they grew up in the victorian era or something! lol. i also think it's terrible when parents tell their son that they will go blind if they masturbate. it's just so cruel. it's cruel. if i ever have kids i'm going to make sure that they know that masturbation is natural. it is healthy. it is as normal and necessary as brushing your teeth in my opinion. actually, teeth brushing is less natural since it was invented later on in history. masturbation has been going on since the dawn of humankind. ever since, the caveman left the cave to go hunt a mammoth with his buds, the cave woman was rubbing the fur around her labia. if i have a daughter, i'll buy her a vibrator if she wants one.

I still have NEVER had an internal orgasm caused by a penis alone (without clitoral stimulation).
Actually i started having sex dreams when i was nine i never touched myself though not untill i was 19 and having sex with my boyfriend did i ever explore masturbation i grew up in a home where i learned about sex very early on me and my older sister were snatching porn from friends house and making dirty jokes about it when i was just 6 years old sex was always a big gross joke in our family. i found it strange later on in life that i orgasmed so early simply becuase i was later to mature (didnt have my first period untill i was 14 and didnt develop until i was 16)
i was routinly having "wet dreams" since 9. but then again i have always had an exceptionally high sex drive.

I grew up in the same sort of household, so I ... more
I grew up in the same sort of household, so I understand. I recently had a sort of "coming out" to my parents about my sexual side, and while they aren't jumping through hoops about it, they're so loving that they do everything they can mental handle the support me. It may take some time, but with a little freedom and self-exploration, the grip your upbringing holds on you will eventually loosen up. (For me, the kicker was going away to college and being away from my family for weeks at a time.)
As for sex drive: a LOT of things effect your sex drive, including (but no limited to) your age, physical health, mental stability, when you hit puberty, your hormones, medication, and yes, how much you have sex/masturbate definitely has an effect on your sex drive. In general--and this is a VERY general statement, not representative of all men and women in any way--females tend to experience peaks and valleys in their sex drive, often in conjunction with their menstrual/ovulation cycles, whereas men tend to have one flat sex drive. It's kind of like a graph: the man's line tends to go straight across, the woman's line tends to jump up and down.
Personally, I want sex more when I'm NOT having it because I miss it and have all of that pent-up energy. Hormonal birth control has regulated and lessened my sex drive, although my sex drive was so high before I started taking BC that it's not an issue at all.
On top of that, I highly recommend browsing the EF forums for other threads related to sexuality; this place is loaded with information! less
It was bizarre when it happened because it was't exactly the end scene in beauty and the beast (fireworks and magic) but it was definitely not what I'd been experiencing before!
I can't imagine being able to have an orgasm with a partner if I hadn't learned about my body on my own first, though. I also find masturbation to be completely different from being with someone else. Usually it's not a substitute, it's just another kind of sexual experience. I do often fantasize about someone other than my boyfriend while masturbating, and I know he fantasizes too, but I feel that's a healthy part of a sex life, and even necessary for me if I want to remain monogamous. Also, the more I masturbate, the more I want sex with my boyfriend. I guess it heightens my awareness of myself as a sexual being. It turns him on to know I like to masturbate too. I also find sexual communication is an absolute must, and not just while we're having sex. Again, it's a turn on for both of us.
I think it's best to do whatever feels comfortable for you, and allow yourself to explore what that is without judging yourself. Maybe stop thinking about the "goal", and just enjoy what's going on. Perhaps your husband could buy a toy for you to use both alone and with him, something simple like a mild clitoral massager to start out with. That way you could still feel like he was with you, in a way, while learning about your body.

Girl, get you a mirror, lock the door and explore your body. The easiest way to acheive an orgasm is by yourself. You are the only person fully in charge of your sex life and if you don't love yourself no one will fully satisfy you.
Also, note you may have a medical issue. Consult a Dr. just in case.
SOOOOO, even though I was getting plenty of sex, I realized I had to learn my own body, and how it worked. I started with simply plain manual stim of my clit, on my own. I found lying on my belly was easiest, and the first few times I felt CLOSE, but nothing happened, after about half a dozen or less times, I got really close. I realized I needed to fantasize, too. (And rarely about my boyfriend, my fantasies are nasty.) Then one day I just kept going (past the point where I would have given up previously) kept fantasizing and stimulating and I HAPPENED! I was so excited, I had NEVER felt so good in my life. I told my Boyfriend that I had finally figured out how to have an orgasm, so he said, "Let's try." The first few times (we always used oral sex, because that made me feel the best before or even after intercourse) The first few times after I started masturbating, I got really close when he gave me oral sex, but nothing happened, I realized I needed to fantasize even while we were together (he not only doesn't care, it really isn't his business. It's mine.) Then one day, he was going down on me, my mind was in the gutter and POW there it was! I was so happy, I almost cried, he was so proud and happy, and we have gone on from there for decades. (I am still with him, despite our relationship going through an Open Relationship period, separation while I was away at college and various stuff. We are now married, have a house full of kids, and sex nearly every day.)
I think you NEED to learn your own body so you can show him. Partner sex and solo sex are not mutually exclusive. My Man and I have sex nearly every day, yet we still both masturbate fairly frequently, sometimes together, sometimes on our own. Masturbation doesn't say to him, "You're doing it wrong." It says, "I'm a sexually mature functioning woman and I can Come in many different ways."
We didn't start using sex toys until into several decades into our sexual relationship. As I am in perimenopause, they are necessary now, (as some women have a reduced clitoral sensitivity when they begin perimenopause) but when I was in my 20s and 30s we hadn't yet discovered them yet.
IMO, learning your own body by loving yourself, physically and psychologically, is mature, healthy and the only way to learn to orgasm.
Good luck, read some good women's erotica, or watch your favorite adult video, think about what turns you on (and that is NO ONE'S business but yours) start flicking the bean and see what happens.