The New Intimacy

Ever had Rape Nightmares?

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Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
The post about having sexual dreams made me wonder. It seems like there are a lot of women having terrigying rape nightmares as opposed to sexual fantasy dreams. I have read a bit about this, mostly they are linked to feelings of having control taken away from you in your life, or a feeling of being forced into an uncomfortable situation.
I am curious, How many women or men have these dreams, and what did you equate them with at the time? What do you think about them now?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a woman and...
109
I am a man and....
16
I have frequently had rape nightmares
18
I have had the occassional rape nightmare
43
I have had a couple, that was a long time ago
16
I have only had a couple, but they were very recent
5
I have never had a nighmare involving rape, only bad sexual experiences
22
I have never had a nightmare involving sex
26
Other
6
Total votes: 261 (132 voters)
Poll is closed
11/21/2010
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Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I have never had a straight out rape dream, but I have had dreams about bad sexual experiences or sexual coercion.
11/21/2010
Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
I was attacked as a teenager so I had nightmares a lot for a long time. As I got older met hubby and got on with my life it was all suppressed. Events caused the memory to surface almost 25 years later and I had a couple of nightmares but after opening up about what happened they've completely stopped.
11/21/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I have never had a straight out rape dream, but I have had dreams about bad sexual experiences or sexual coercion.
I had a terrible nightmare one time that there was a huge party in my place, and during the party some guy started trying to rape and strangle a woman. I and some of the men at my party made him leave. After the party was over and everybody had gone I heard a knock at my door and immediately knew it was him. I went to the door but realized it was unlocked. When I went to lock it he realized the same thing and pushed through the door, there was of course an ensuing struggle and he was trying to choke me while I was trying to gain access to some weapon I could use to defend myself. All the while all I could think of were my children in their rooms. I woke up somewhere around the end of the struggle but there really was no winner because I woke up... which I am assuming means I would have lost.

This was the most recent and most terrifying rape dream I have ever had. But when I was probably 12 to 14 I had recurring dreams of being abducted and raped by Sonny and Cher. I know, I know, totally rediculous, I fully expect this will give some of you a laugh. However they lasted for a couple years and scared the crap out of me at the time.
11/21/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
I'm a man, and I've had them occasionally. They usually involve me being weak and afraid, which is not me at all, but the reason for that is the subject matter of the rape. It's the fear of being found out and being misunderstood that causes these nightmares.
11/21/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I had a terrible nightmare one time that there was a huge party in my place, and during the party some guy started trying to rape and strangle a woman. I and some of the men at my party made him leave. After the party was over and everybody had gone ... more
Wow that definitely does sound scary, I have had dreams where I realize a door was unlocked (though in my dreams it's always a zombie or a murderer behind the door) and that's the most gut sinking feeling in the world. I even have to double check my doors at night before going to bed. I'd look at waking up as a win though, that's how I usually do if I am having a nightmare. When I wake up right before something bad happens I look at it as if I succeeded in stopping it because in essence I did stop it..by getting myself to wake up. Sometimes it's very hard to push through whatever bad is happening in a dream to get yourself to wake up, so by not allowing your subconscious to pull you in and by waking yourself up you've succeeded. That's how I look at it anyway.

And Sonny and Cher? That's gotta be incredibly freaky..did you flinch whenever you'd see a picture of them or heard one of their songs? I think I would have!
11/21/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Wow that definitely does sound scary, I have had dreams where I realize a door was unlocked (though in my dreams it's always a zombie or a murderer behind the door) and that's the most gut sinking feeling in the world. I even have to double ... more
Usually just bang bang.. for some reason that one totally triggers memories. I would look at waking up as a repreive too, only I usually wake up around 3 am and dont get back to sleep until somewhere betweein 30 mins and an hour before my kids wake up.
11/21/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
I was attacked as a teenager so I had nightmares a lot for a long time. As I got older met hubby and got on with my life it was all suppressed. Events caused the memory to surface almost 25 years later and I had a couple of nightmares but after ... more
Im glad to hear they have stopped.
11/21/2010
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Yes I have, and I have never been raped before.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I haven't that I can recall
11/22/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Once or twice in my life, yeah. i mostly have nightmares about something trying to kill me, though.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Once or twice in my life, yeah. i mostly have nightmares about something trying to kill me, though.
I have those too.
11/22/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
About a year or more ago, I had a few that had a guy that kind of leered at me a few times (in real life) - a local band guy and an acquaintance of Gary's - and in the dreams he was violent and hellbent on rape and murder... I felt bad about the dreams because in real life he was a harmless guy that just kinda stared at me too much. Anyway, I mentioned it to Gary after the 2nd or 3rd one, and we joked about it a little and I forgot all about it. Then this guy died of brain cancer last week. After him only finding out about the tumor in July. I felt really cruddy about it when I found out last week... sorry, that was seriously what came to mind when I read this thread.
11/22/2010
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Since I'm a rape victim, yes I have them. Personally, I don't understand why some women have rape fantasies or like rape-play. Rape-play is nothing like real rape and rape is something that you never fully recover from.

I, however, have some amazing dreams involving sex of the non-rape variety.
11/22/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I have never had a rape nightmare before. I usually have weird nightmares about zombies or my ex boyfriend trying to kill me.
11/27/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by darthkitt3n
I have never had a rape nightmare before. I usually have weird nightmares about zombies or my ex boyfriend trying to kill me.
Maybe we should do something about your ex boyfriend... possibly something involving zombies
12/14/2010
Contributor: misslady misslady
I suppose I once had a rape dream, but it wasn't particularly a nightmare?
12/15/2010
Contributor: northstar northstar
Not complete penetrative I think, but definitely some bad sexual experiences which I'd never fantasise about or anything.
12/22/2010
Contributor: D&&JForever D&&JForever
The post about having rape nightmares made me think. I have had a lot of nightmares recently. One was really strange. I was looking to buy a new toy, A lady approached me from a shop with one. I went buy to look at it. I liked it alot. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but I wanted it very badly just the same. The only thing was, I didn't have enough money for it. She made a deal with me. I pay her what money I had and have sex with one of her male employee's while she watched. I felt uneasy but agreed. I took the toy, when It came time to have sex with the man, I couldn't. He was so disgusting. I couldn't bare to look at him, so sex was out of the question. I then had the rest of the money for the toy so I tried to pay but she wouldn't except my money. The man then tried to rape me, so I kicked him in the balls and ran. I just kept running and hiding, it was Halloween night in the dream so it was easy to hide. I woke just as she had cornered me near a school, where hundreds of children where attending an outside Halloween party. It was, odd, and frightening. I can't shake it. I just keep thinking about it. What does this dream mean???? ANYONE???
12/31/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by D&&JForever
The post about having rape nightmares made me think. I have had a lot of nightmares recently. One was really strange. I was looking to buy a new toy, A lady approached me from a shop with one. I went buy to look at it. I liked it alot. It wasn't ... more
My best guess would be that you are afraid of doing something for immediate gratification that you will regret in the future. You may be confronted with a choice in your life one option is very attractive but may not be what you are ultimately looking for, and the other is unavailable at the moment and you aren't sure you want to wait. You are probably afraid that if you don't wait and hold out for what you really want there will be some undesirable consequence and making the wrong choice will prevent you from getting what you really want even later on.
01/12/2011
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Maybe once or twice. That was enough!
01/12/2011
Contributor: deletedacct deletedacct
I've had group sex dreams and then a few where i was being attacked (raped) by men with masked faces. I think dreams are sometimes an expression of your subconscious, such as worries you've been having or emotions. Perhaps i was feeling helpless or worrying about not having control over my life which showed up as men taking power from me, who knows. A dream is just a dream.
01/12/2011
Contributor: clp clp
I used to have nightmares, they were always very surreal and strange but still scary. They stopped after I was assaulted.
01/12/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by clp
I used to have nightmares, they were always very surreal and strange but still scary. They stopped after I was assaulted.
That is really interesting. Do you know why?
01/12/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
Due to one of my nightmares I ended up literally kicking my ex outta bed... poor girl...
01/18/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by RosesThorns
Due to one of my nightmares I ended up literally kicking my ex outta bed... poor girl...
Aww that is terrible.
01/19/2011
Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
Luckily, I have not had any nightmares regarding any sexual activity.
01/25/2011
Contributor: Miguel M. Miguel M.
I have not experienced "rape dreams". I have read that women usually are the most likely to experience that. I wonder if stress triggers it? Or, perhaps memories of some terrible event in the woman's past are triggered and then she has them?

What do you think?
01/28/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Miguel M.
I have not experienced "rape dreams". I have read that women usually are the most likely to experience that. I wonder if stress triggers it? Or, perhaps memories of some terrible event in the woman's past are triggered and then she ... more
It is supposedly a reaction to feeling like things are out of your control and going negatively in your life.
01/28/2011
Contributor: vegan.guy vegan.guy
I've never had a rape dream, but I have had a decent number of dreams about sex and/or romance and they pretty much all ended badly.
02/02/2011