That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less

That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less

#1 He is lucky to have you. # 2 He is still lucky to have you.
#3 As I get older I take longer. My 0 for a soon to be ex wife did not and could not understand this. She did nothing for me. She laid there and waited. No oral, no hand jobs (20 Years). If I finished it was bedtime. If I didn't it was my fault so long byebye see you in a month, maybe three. Ever been given up for lent?
I think you should try getting him excited, foreplay, video, dirty talk, anything. Work him up. If not, lay before him and let him start to get off on the sight of you touching yourself, exposing and tantalizing him. if he can jack off (that can take me two hours with video) he can learn to work it out with you. He is lucky to have someone like you. Do you have a friend in Pittsburgh? less

Does he feel bad that he cannot get an orgasm during vaginal sex, or are you the only one bothered with this?

I mean personally, I can get off in no time when I masturbate, but it takes longer during penetration sex. I'm saying just to say that not all men are made the same, so it may or may not be related to masturbating a lot.

Next time, ask him to keep for masturbating for a week and see if there is any change. Maybe it could give it a chance. But even if it does not, I do not really think you should worry too much. Just enjoy yourselves, and if it chafes, use some lube to help (try silicone lube, lasts forever)



Edit: I just read your other post about having some pain during sex. If your boyfriend is afraid to hurt you, it might not help in being able to just let go and get his orgasm. Talk to him about all of this. less

Been there, and I know your frustration. I had a partner who took forever, and he rarely got off from anything I did to/with him. He almost always had to jerk off to finish, like in a porn scene. I never figured that one out, so I'm not much help, but I did want to chime in to let you know you're not alone. less

I may be off here but some guys rub very hard when they jerk off and their bodies have adjusted to, and need this. Perhaps the overall smoothness of you pussy just doesn't do it for him.
I would suggest that when you have had enough, move away and invite him to masturbate himself or you do it for him. Also an NJoy butt plug in your butt will provide more vaginal friction for him as he thrusts.
Two hours....I would be so sore.... less

LOL yes, I always get so sore. He loves porn and I think that has warped his view of what real sex is. I've tried wearing a plug in while he fucks me vaginally but...I feel bad for him! Sometimes he just wears himself out and can't cum at all! But you're right, I definitely think he needs to get used to my fabulous pussy.

Today I bought a book called "Sex is Fun!" by Kidder Kaper...it looks awesome. It's a sex aid disguised as a comic book. It has tips on how to make a man cum quicker. God I hope it works. less

That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less

now it sounds like he could be working himself up too much.

If that's the case, tell him that if he makes #1 a quickie, Round 2 will come sooner.

Once again, IF that's the case, I used to be that way too. Especially if it'd been awhile and it was a short amount of time we'd be together. I'd get so worked up and worry about pleasing my partner that I'd blow the first time and sex the rest of the weekend would be painful for her. less

That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less

Blinker, is he taking anti-depressants or antihistamines or opiate pain killers? These and other drugs can, in some people, cause "delayed orgasm" or even occasionally inability to orgasm at all.

This also happens to men as they age. When My Man is taking an extra long time (and I like sex to last a couple of hours, so it would be more than that) he will often, as Nina Hartley says, "Take control of his own penis." Meaning he jerks off, while I help or just play the cheering squad.

Considering as I have gotten older, it has been taking me longer to orgasm as well, I know he has appreciated MY efforts and my not being offended if he wants to take control, as that is now what I have to do to have an orgasm myself. It's funny, because we almost never have a hard time at the same time. Go figure, but it's one of those "what goes around, comes around" things. I think he is more able to understand my difficulty in taking a long time, because it has happened to him, and I've helped him, for years. In a way, I'm almost glad this happens to him, because it's easier for him to understand when I need to take a long time. And I used to have a hair trigger orgasm. *SIGH*

Yeah, the first year or two it happened, I was a little put out (not to mention TIRED.) I actually said to him once, "Stop enjoying it so much and COME, already!" not understanding that he had NO control over it. Now, it's happening to me, so I know how rather insensitive it was of me to say that.

For him now, it happens on and off, as it does to me. No idea why, he isn't on any meds, just getting a little older, but a young man in his 20s may either just be someone who needs extra stimulation (nothing wrong with that) or need to take control of his own penis near the end (no law that says YOU have to "cause" every one of his orgasms all by yourself) or it could be due to medication. less

That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less

Awww
I've had that moment where I just got so frustrated I actually yelled at him to "fucking CUM already!" It really hurt him and now I know he can't help it. He just turned 27, he's ADD but takes no drugs for it. Every once in a while he will take Loratidine for allergies, but overall, he really doesn't take any OTC or Rx drugs. But...he is a big pothead. He wanks off constantly and smokes pot so I'm beginning to see why he can't cum so easily, lol. less

Hey, whatever keeps him for releasing in another way and cheating...

It's perfectly normal to masturbate, but its unclear how often he is doing it. He could be addicted. I was addicted for a bit my first year of college before I ever got toys.

I have been with guys who said a girl never made them cum from a hand job or oral. Not one of them wasn't able to finish with me. I'm not saying that to brag, I'm saying...its totally possible and I firmly believe that if you have the confidence (fake it if you have to), their head and body will go along with the idea that they will finish. He sounds very stubborn and this could have to do with it.

I would also tell him that it is hurting you, of course he will want you to be pleased to and hopefully want to change. He can jack off like mad when you are away but set a limit...like 24 hours before he sees you, he has to keep it in his pants. less

I KNOW you're frustrated, and tired and maybe a little sore which is why he might want to take control near the end, after you've had your fill, you can just watch, or use your mouth on just the tip (just make sure he doesn't pop you in the mouth, I've had that happen more times than I can remember, he's MUCH rougher on himself than I am) but remember that pressure to come makes it happen even more slowly or not at all.

I know I've been in tight situations, and it might just take him to say, "I have to get to work in a few minutes." and it makes it nearly impossible for me, sometimes I don't come at all, then I'm crabby all day. For me, anyway, not having had an orgasm for a day or two (although I don't like to go that long) and him actually TELLING ME, "Take as long as you want. I'm here for you." Actually makes it happen faster.

For guys, sometimes I have found that either direct stim on the prostate (yep, you have to go in the back door for that) or indirect massage on the prostate, but pushing a knuckle into the "third ball"(As My Man calls it) right under his testes can sometimes help him come faster. It's worth a try, My Man is not fond of actual anal stim on himself, so I go for the knuckle under the balls while I go down on him. It SEEMS to work, he likes it a lot, too. less

I KNOW you're frustrated, and tired and maybe a little sore which is why he might want to take control near the end, after you've had your fill, you can just watch, or use your mouth on just the tip (just make sure he doesn't pop you in the mouth, I've had that happen more times than I can remember, he's MUCH rougher on himself than I am) but remember that pressure to come makes it happen even more slowly or not at all.

I know I've been in tight situations, and it might just take him to say, "I have to get to work in a few minutes." and it makes it nearly impossible for me, sometimes I don't come at all, then I'm crabby all day. For me, anyway, not having had an orgasm for a day or two (although I don't like to go that long) and him actually TELLING ME, "Take as long as you want. I'm here for you." Actually makes it happen faster.

For guys, sometimes I have found that either direct stim on the prostate (yep, you have to go in the back door for that) or indirect massage on the prostate, but pushing a knuckle into the "third ball"(As My Man calls it) right under his testes can sometimes help him come faster. It's worth a try, My Man is not fond of actual anal stim on himself, so I go for the knuckle under the balls while I go down on him. It SEEMS to work, he likes it a lot, too. less

I've done that several times when I go down on my guy. Half the time it makes him giggle but I still do it. When I give him head, sometimes he stops me because it's "too intense". I have no idea what the hell that means but I do take a break and them resume the jaw session. I have never known any other guy who has stopped a BJ because it's "too intense". less

That makes me sound horrible, doesn't it? Complaining that my lover takes too long in bed...oh God.

We have an amazing sex life, but we are in a long-distance relationship. We live about 300 miles away, and with school and work, we're lucky to see each other maybe one week out of every 2 months. That being said, he masturbates like mad. Every day. Sometimes more than once every day. He can get himself off in no time with his hand, but with me...damn.

A quickie to him is an hour or two. We try positions where friction is strongest and he pumps so hard but still isn't able to cum for ages. It really bothers me, and it chafes.

All I can reckon is that he is so used to his hand that he needs to get used to my pussy (or ass) instead. He refuses to try any masturbation sleeves or even pocket pussies. I guess he is old-fashioned. He also holds the belief that holding cum in for too long is bad for the body. This is why he jerks it so damn much.

It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, it's how often he does it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to kind of help him along? Also, he absolutely cannot cum with a hand or oral job. Never has with any woman.

Sex not almost seems like a chore because I know it will take forever and I feel guilty because I cna't get him off. Please help me! less