The New Intimacy

Vibrators and Orgasms; Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?

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Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I have to strongly disagree. First of all, I distrust Dr. Drew. He makes his money and his name by inventing new "addictions" and labeling normal behaviors as "addictions." He also doesn't seem to understand female sexuality ... more
I agree completely - TV docs are usually quacks of the highest order. It's a safe bet that if you do the opposite of what they recommend - you'd do better!
06/24/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
I don't think the vibrator is the cause of the change in sensitivity, age is. Our bodies are in constant change and as we grow older things don't work the same way as they used to when you were younger. I noticed it as well that it takes a toy with stronger vibrations to get me off now than it did before. It's just life.
06/24/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
Good to know that there can be no permanent damage.

"And using toys with your partner can actually INCREASE the level of satisfaction in your sexlife, they do not invalidate a relationship."

I completely agree with you. We ... more
That's awesome!! We also play games for sex, though for us it's usually strip Seinfeld trivia. He's been watching a LOT more Seinfeld lately - and he actually won the last time! He's still bragging about it months later. It's cute.

I love hearing that you two are still keeping the home fires burning! I hope to do the same as my man and I age. Nothing better than a fun sex life with the one(s) you love!

I LOVE reading stories like yours!
06/24/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I have to strongly disagree. First of all, I distrust Dr. Drew. He makes his money and his name by inventing new "addictions" and labeling normal behaviors as "addictions." He also doesn't seem to understand female sexuality ... more
...I have to strongly disagree. First of all, I distrust Dr. Drew. He makes his money and his name by inventing new "addictions" and labeling normal behaviors as "addictions." He also doesn't seem to understand female sexuality at all, and is hostile to sex toys or any way outside of PIV to help women have orgasms. ...



Totally agree. I'm sure he's also propagating the myths that if you have anal sex too often you'll eventually become incontinent. What's sad is that those programs are thought of as educational... and they really have a lot of misinformation.


For any young ones (or not so young ones) who want actual GOOD, RELIABLE, TRUE sex ed information, check out Dan Savage. He writes a column that can be read online, and he has a new show out called SavageU where he visits colleges around the country.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
No, but bodies do change because of age, hormonal levels, and various other factors. Nina Hartley did a great episode in Tuesdays with Nina on this particular topic.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Thank to everyone who provided answers even though I wasn't the one asking the question. Despite being told that "desensitization" from vibrators is a myth, I think I have always worried on some level anyway.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I'm glad to see there are people hear who aren't telling myths! It's absolutely not true that using a vibrator desensitizes you!
06/24/2012
Contributor: marrythenight marrythenight
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Thank to everyone who provided answers even though I wasn't the one asking the question. Despite being told that "desensitization" from vibrators is a myth, I think I have always worried on some level anyway.
This. Not so much desensitization, but having a harder time being satisfied with human touches and needing vibration to get off.
06/24/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
This. Not so much desensitization, but having a harder time being satisfied with human touches and needing vibration to get off.
That's part of the myth that isn't true.

If you need vibrations to get off, you just do. If you can get off with less stimulation, you just can. Every body is different. Any type of desensitization is merely temporary and will go away.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
i've actually always kinda wondered that ... but doesnt seem to really be an issue so far so ... play on
06/24/2012
Contributor: AshMegYo AshMegYo
Yeah, I started noticing it with my vibrators. Instead of taking my time with it I would just crank up my vibe and get to orgasm as quick as possible.
06/25/2012
Contributor: MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
I definitely think so! Honestly, my tastes in toys have changed a lot as I've upped the size and ante of my vibrators. Trying to use the toys I used when I first started buying them is almost hopeless now, and I can't get off on them at all!

However, I also think it's possible to regain that sensitivity.
06/25/2012
Contributor: ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
We have been married for over 30 years, and we have used vibrators of many different styles for most of our married life during foreplay, but not exclusively. I have noticed lately, and my wife has confirmed, that her orgasms don’t seem to be as ... more
I've read medical reports saying it isn't possible, but honestly I would imagine as you get older effects like that may possibly set in.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Scrawberry78 Scrawberry78
I really hope not! That is actually the only way I can achieve orgasm.
06/26/2012
Contributor: Teaser Teaser
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
YAY! Good for you. Get that order in. It's good to hear. No invalidation, only fun and love!
On it! Hope it gets here SOON!
06/26/2012
Contributor: Teaser Teaser
Thanks everyone for the input and wisdom! Good discussion.
06/26/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I agree completely - TV docs are usually quacks of the highest order. It's a safe bet that if you do the opposite of what they recommend - you'd do better!
Amen, my brother. I have a similar opinion of the "famous" Dr. Oz.

link
06/28/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
...I have to strongly disagree. First of all, I distrust Dr. Drew. He makes his money and his name by inventing new "addictions" and labeling normal behaviors as "addictions." He also doesn't seem to understand female ... more
I think I have read some of Dan Savage's stuff. Thank you. I'll have to check out SavageU. Is that on Cable or does he have an internet channel?
06/28/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
I hope not haha. No, actually using toys seems to make orgasms/sex better for me.
06/28/2012
Contributor: nosrslylol nosrslylol
I think you can. Just try to use moderation, as with all good things.
06/28/2012
Contributor: krystalmarie krystalmarie
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
I actually suspected this (age) myself, but I didn't want to lead the answers to the age thing, but yet, I guess if I stated that we had been married "so long", I kinda did anyhow. I was actually curious IF it was possible to ... more
aawwww look at you, go get you some
06/28/2012
Contributor: kitty377 kitty377
I'm glad this feed is up! It has answered a lot of questions for me. The last few days I have been having trouble orgasming during sex and I suspected it might have to do with last week's vibe usage. That was the first time I really tried the vibe I got for free from Eden ages ago and I discovered the amazing magic of a vibrator! I was scared that was what was doing it to me but I think it's just a combo of the 106 degree weather and lack of foreplay.
06/29/2012
Contributor: Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
I agree with the kegel advice, but also exercising the pelvic floor with squats.
06/29/2012
Contributor: konicaguy konicaguy
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
We have been married for over 30 years, and we have used vibrators of many different styles for most of our married life during foreplay, but not exclusively. I have noticed lately, and my wife has confirmed, that her orgasms don’t seem to be as ... more
When used over long periods of time my wife tells me she gets desensitized, but then we stop for a few minutes and we are good to go!
06/30/2012
Contributor: digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
We have been married for over 30 years, and we have used vibrators of many different styles for most of our married life during foreplay, but not exclusively. I have noticed lately, and my wife has confirmed, that her orgasms don’t seem to be as ... more
very possible
06/30/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I know that during sex, if I start off with a vibrator and (it dies on me) it's harder to achieve manual orgasm. But if I don't use a vibrator at all during a session I can still get off fairly easily. But that's just me.

Sounds like it might be hormonal issues too.
06/30/2012
Contributor: Iseth Iseth
Quote:
Originally posted by Teaser
We have been married for over 30 years, and we have used vibrators of many different styles for most of our married life during foreplay, but not exclusively. I have noticed lately, and my wife has confirmed, that her orgasms don’t seem to be as ... more
We actually had this happen with our very first toy...my wife has a very hard time reaching the O without oral or direct clitoral stimulation. So, when we got our first vibrator she about wore that thing out, but quickly realized a few days later that while she could FEEL the vibrations, they weren't doing anything for her in the orgasm department. She was scared she broke something and we both were nervous that we had done something wrong.
Thank God for Google...with a little research we found out that you can desensitize the clitoris for a few days to a week, but with rest and no vibrating toys, it bounces back JUST FINE. Sex toys are one of the best things we introduced in our marriage, it went from "this is cool" to "OMG, what have we been missing?!" Now that we are a little more experienced (but still novices), it isn't anywhere near as scary as we first thought.
07/06/2012
Contributor: Kaltir Kaltir
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I actually started losing sensitivity before I ever used sex toys. The reason we started using them is that my orgasms were less intense, harder to get to and got better and easier only after we introduced sex toys into our lives.

I know my ... more
This is almost exactly what I was going to say - except I wasn't losing sensitivity to begin with - I just never came close to an orgasm before, no matter how much I was enjoying the sex. Now between my husband and toys, I have no problems
07/11/2012
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
The vibrator desensitizing thing is a sex myth, which like most sex myths goes out of its way to shame women. Your body changes with age, that has nothing to do with the number of orgasms you've had or how you achieved them. Switching things up with different toys can help, because a different sensation is new and exciting.
07/11/2012
Contributor: EdenUser EdenUser
It happens with most things so I think it could, this is why I try to do things in moderation, better in the long run.
07/11/2012