The New Intimacy

Featured by EdenFantasys

Best strapless strap on
Double dildos
Eden lover dildo
Realistic dildos
Caesar - large dildo
Realistic black dildos

A vibe for a first-timer who doesn't know what she likes: Luxury or inexpensive?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
I'm introducing a skeptical friend to toys, and I'm footing the bill. Since I'm a toy geek, she's pretty much letting me pick for her. She has no idea what she'll like, but she does want something that, and I quote, "doesn't look ridiculous."

I'm torn on whether I should start her off with a luxury vibe or an inexpensive one.

I want to get her something versatile, attractive, powerful (rumbly, not buzzy), and easy to clean. I want her to be able to enjoy the toy for what it is without having to worry about finding unusual batteries or spending forever cleaning up. It's much easier to find a pricey toy that meets this criteria. (I'm thinking Salsa/Tango, MiMi, etc.)

But there are plenty of inexpensive vibes that meet this criteria, though they tend to die sooner and they're more likely to have little problems (Xtreme Pack, Seduction, Turbo Glider). They're also not quiiite as attractive. If I went this route, I'd get her a couple different things so she can figure out what she likes.

Would you buy a first-timer a versatile luxury vibe, or would you start them off with a few different less expensive vibes?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
One luxury vibe (MiMi, Salsa/Tango, etc.)
OhMy! , travelnurse
2  (4%)
A few inexpensive vibes (Xtreme Pack, Seduction, etc.)
- Kira - , Ryuson , sweetpea12 , padmeamidala , Rin (aka Nire) , freda , Ciao. , VSgirl , charletnarouh , BobbiJay , TicklingPink , JennSenn , Azule , Nazaress , Nora , cottonxcandy , ichwillwaffels , Music , KyotoAngel , SparklyGlitter , Curiouscat , LaSchwartz , Maxx , Gemstone , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , SeductivelyCute , fredacarl , Greenleaf , Taylor , BlackxxxRose , Missmarc , Do emu , Adriana Ravenlust , Interesante , Stinkytofu10 , Breas , MissManners , geliebt , potstickers , Mwar , Fleurs Violettes , Brenard , Mew , SexysaurousRex , deltalima , butts , karenm , Kaltir , LavenderSkies , XxFallenAngelxX , phoenixfire
51  (91%)
Other? (Is there an other? Explain!)
P'Gell , Gunsmoke , Woman China
3  (5%)
Total votes: 56
Poll is closed
03/05/2012
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Save Extra 20% On Love Cushion And Toy Set!
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • Save 50% On Shower Nozzle With Enema Set
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Other helpful discussions on First Time:

Is the Bootie good for first-timers?
I've been waiting for the Mood Naughty small plug for a while now, but it doesn't seem like it's going to come in anytime soon, so is the Bootie a...

First Time
When was your first time that you used Sex Furniture?

What is your favorite toy EVER?
I'm pretty sure that mine is the iEgg. I owned it a while back, and really want to get a replacement for it soon. What about you?

Really the first time
I'm not sure if this is the right thread, so feel free to let me know if this is the wrong area. With that said, I have no shame in admitting I'm a...

Question about first time anal?
My first time anal was by myself. I used a vibrator and I liked it. I haven't tried anal w/ my husband, and he says we will sometime, but he hasn't...
03/05/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
If she doesn't know what she likes, get a mix of cheaper things. Then when she knows what she likes she can upgrade to a luxury version of it or something similar. It would be silly to drop $100+ and then find out she doesn't like the shape or prefers buzzy vibrations.
03/05/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I recently did this for my friend, and I spent about $150 on maybe 9 cheaper toys. I got her the Ella, a glass dildo, the Iconic bullet, a 'traditional' shaped toy with some patterns, and some smaller clitoral toys. Don't forget some nice lube!
03/05/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
I'm introducing a skeptical friend to toys, and I'm footing the bill. Since I'm a toy geek, she's pretty much letting me pick for her. She has no idea what she'll like, but she does want something that, and I quote, ... more
You have to test what kind of vibe you like, so it would be good to start small and cheap. And then when you know what you like invest in something better
03/05/2012
Contributor: roskat roskat
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I recently did this for my friend, and I spent about $150 on maybe 9 cheaper toys. I got her the Ella, a glass dildo, the Iconic bullet, a 'traditional' shaped toy with some patterns, and some smaller clitoral toys. Don't forget some nice lube!
Wish everyone had friends like you
03/05/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Go for a bunch of cheapies. They may not live as long, but she'll be able to get an idea of what she does and doesn't like and go from there.
03/05/2012
Contributor: freda freda
great review
03/05/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I would recommend going the cheaper route, but maybe bring a couple of your more expensive/higher quality toys along with so you can explain their advantages and why she would like to upgrade to those eventually.
03/05/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I think, with the exception of the Astrovibes, you can't go wrong with a phallic Fun Factory vibrator. The "weird" shape FF vibes are iffy, but I have found that, aside from the Astrovibes, Fun Factory Phallic vibrators don't disappoint.

The problem with cheap vibes is that if she can't get off on their loud, whiny, high frequency vibrations, she'll think vibrators don't work for her.

A few years ago, I wrote an article for EdenCafe about "Beginner Toys" and although there have been some new toys I wish I could include in that article (the Nasstoy Ultimate Massager Pocket Rocket is one) you may want to look at the article (and the great graphic Carrie Ann designed for it) and see what works for you both. Changing What We Think About "Beginner" Toys.
03/05/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
I echo what P'Gell said about if there's something about the cheap toys that she doesn't like, she'll think she doesn't like toys or vibes all together, because that's EXACTLY what happened to me. I had a cheap, buzzy, (frankly a piece of crap) slim line plastic vibe and I hated it. I thought I didn't like vibrations. Well, 9 years later, turns out I just don't like poor quality toys. BUT! There are good quality toys that don't cost a fortune. Since you're a toy enthusiast, you can pick something (or a few things) that are less expensive but still decent quality and, most important in my mind, made of safe materials! I always cringe when I see people advise cheap jelly or something similar as a first toy. A first toy can always end up being a less than wholly awesome experience, but you up the chances with a bad material she might react to. I also think Boink made a good point, maybe show her some of your more expensive toys and explain the difference. Make sure she doesn't fall into the pitfall of thinking that if one cheap toy (or even a couple cheap toys) didn't work for her, no toys or no vibrators will. Ryuson makes a good suggestion about including some non-vibrating toys too. This was how I was able to figure out what I might want when I decided to give vibes a second try, because I'd played with quite a few non-vibrating dildos and knew what shapes and sizes I liked that way. Plus, if she hasn't found her g-spot this might be a huge value to her. And non-vibe dildos are often pretty reasonably priced, unless it's something like the pure wand or a really fancy dichroic glass. Just make sure she knows that there's a LOT of variation available in toys and that you often get what you pay for, so while you're giving her some cheap things to try out (if you choose to go that route) and help her learn what she likes, they are far from the best or only options out there. However, my personal philosophy on toys, and why I won't buy cheap ones, aside from my ultra picky determination to only use very safe materials, is that I'd rather have a few toys that I love and maybe a couple that I kinda like than a ton of toys that I hate and I feel like that's what happens when you buy cheap toys. They're cheap so you can buy a lot of them, but a lot are going to be rejects. With rare exception, I find that most high-end toys are not total losses, even if you don't absolutely love them, while a lot of cheap toys are. So I'd lean towards several cheap things, or better yet, maybe 2 or 3 moderately priced items, with many words of caution that there are better things out there.
03/05/2012
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
I'd say get her an assortment of cheaper vibrators so she can find what she likes but don't get her CRAPPY cheap vibrators. She'll be turned off by them and think she hates all toys of that kind.
03/05/2012
Contributor: Nora Nora
I wouldn't want to scare her off by suggesting super spend toys (some of us can;t afford those even if we really want them). However, I'd also steer clear of the jellies and hard plastics too...I'd go for a silicone, maybe a tiny glass piece...stuff on sale is always awesome.
03/05/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
If I were you I'd take something that you don't use much anymore, sanitize it and give it to her - just makes sure it's good enough to make your point.
03/06/2012
Contributor: cottonxcandy cottonxcandy
I think buying her a couple of cheaper toys would be an awesome idea! Then maybe she can try out a variety and figure out what type of stuff she likes
03/06/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Personally I'd suggest a decent clit vibe, a g-spot vibrator and some lube.

If you are looking for some items;
Better than Chocolate, Bcurious (rechargeable), Harmonia (Close2You), Ellove (Fun Factory), Patchy Paul...

These ones are not silly looking, are good quality and battery operated. The Harmonia, Ellove and Patchy Paul's heads are uniquely shaped so that they can provide fun clit play either a broader surface or turning it slightly for more pin point stimulation. And with them being insertable with a great feel, they can be used as thrusting toys, and g-spot play as well.

With all these toys being waterproof, being not that expensive as a top notch luxury vibe, these make good starter toys as they are not intimidating. They all provide various vibrations, various levels of intensity, and most have patterns.

Let us know what you ended up picking out!!!
03/06/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I agree that a small assortment of the "nicer" lower priced toys is a good choice. The Velvet Touch from Doc Johnson is a great traditional vibe. The vibrations are pretty good for most people, and it's lasted me a long time. There are a few pretty good dildos for not a lot of money as well. Good luck!
03/06/2012
Contributor: ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
I'm introducing a skeptical friend to toys, and I'm footing the bill. Since I'm a toy geek, she's pretty much letting me pick for her. She has no idea what she'll like, but she does want something that, and I quote, ... more
I would get a few different styles that were good but not too expensive.
03/06/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
If she doesn't know what she likes, get a mix of cheaper things. Then when she knows what she likes she can upgrade to a luxury version of it or something similar. It would be silly to drop $100+ and then find out she doesn't like the shape ... more
Perfect answer.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Curiouscat Curiouscat
I agree with getting her a mix of things then she can see whats out there. A few things that are nice- and good materials - sounds like a nice introduction.
03/06/2012
Contributor: LaSchwartz LaSchwartz
A Few inexpensive toys you need play to see what you like if you get one that is not good for her she won't keep trying.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
I echo what P'Gell said about if there's something about the cheap toys that she doesn't like, she'll think she doesn't like toys or vibes all together, because that's EXACTLY what happened to me. I had a cheap, buzzy, ... more
You and P'Gell are right on the money: I'm worried that a cheap vibe will turn her off toys all together. If it's not the whiny vibes that bother her, it could be cheap-looking construction, incomplete waterproofing, short life span, etc etc. She's not eager to try toys; she's humoring me and letting me trying to convert her.

I think you're right that pricier vibes are rarely a total loss, and that's why I'm considering them. I'd really rather spend $70 on a toy that can make ANY kind of good impression on her than spend $70 on a few more inexpensive vibes that don't do anything for her at all.

Good call on the phallic FF toys, P'Gell. I'll show her those and see what she thinks.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Maxx Maxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
I'm introducing a skeptical friend to toys, and I'm footing the bill. Since I'm a toy geek, she's pretty much letting me pick for her. She has no idea what she'll like, but she does want something that, and I quote, ... more
inexpencive ones to make sure they like the sensation of vibrations.
03/06/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
You and P'Gell are right on the money: I'm worried that a cheap vibe will turn her off toys all together. If it's not the whiny vibes that bother her, it could be cheap-looking construction, incomplete waterproofing, short life span, etc ... more
Thanks, I think that will work, if anything will.
03/06/2012
Contributor: quinceykay quinceykay
I'd definitely get a cheaper one - I know one of my friends is a beginner and gets off easily with a $4 vibe I got her. My first was about $10, yet was powerful and discreet. You can definitely get a good one for less than $20, so I'd try getting a few of the cheaper, yet well-reviewed ones.
03/06/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
You and P'Gell are right on the money: I'm worried that a cheap vibe will turn her off toys all together. If it's not the whiny vibes that bother her, it could be cheap-looking construction, incomplete waterproofing, short life span, etc ... more
If she's humoring you and if she's open enough, if you have a decent shop somewhere in the area, maybe take her to a shop where they'd have some stuff on display. (don't take her somewhere seedy or creepy obviously since you want to give her a good impression of toys in general) Maybe holding them in her hand, feeling the vibrations and textures, seeing them in person might give her a better idea of something she'd like to try. If I had someone who was willing to try toys, I'd show her EF but I'd also take her shopping if possible to see what looks or feels interesting to her, even if the plan was ultimately to order something from eden, it still might be a useful field trip.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Gemstone Gemstone
I would get her a bullet, an insertable vibe and a dildo or g-spot like Ella from Lelo. A little of everything and that way she can make her own choices when she is ready to upgrade. Do not for get the lube and toy cleaner. I wish I had a friend do that for me when I bought my first toys.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
If she's humoring you and if she's open enough, if you have a decent shop somewhere in the area, maybe take her to a shop where they'd have some stuff on display. (don't take her somewhere seedy or creepy obviously since you want to ... more
Yep, I took her on a field trip to my favorite shop to show her that not all toys are $6 jelly things that stink. It helped a bit, but she wasn't thinking about herself as much as I'd hoped she would. I've got a timid one on my hands!

Thanks for the thoughtful suggestions, Charlet. I appreciate it!
03/06/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
Yep, I took her on a field trip to my favorite shop to show her that not all toys are $6 jelly things that stink. It helped a bit, but she wasn't thinking about herself as much as I'd hoped she would. I've got a timid one on my ... more
That's rough. Good luck! Hope our suggestions help. I have friends who think my enthusiasm for toys is ridiculous and (good naturedly tease me about it). I wish I could convert them all! My sis and her girlfriend are among them. I shake my head sadly and feel sorry for all they're missing.
03/06/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
You and P'Gell are right on the money: I'm worried that a cheap vibe will turn her off toys all together. If it's not the whiny vibes that bother her, it could be cheap-looking construction, incomplete waterproofing, short life span, etc ... more
Okay, to clarify: don't buy junk. Just buy less expensive yet decent things. LOL I agree that buying some $5 poorly made insertable toy may throw her off all together.

Some suggestions:
Seduction - I have the silicone version and it's a bit glitchy, so I'd go with the plastic since I haven't heard a person complain about that one.

Ella - Ella doesn't really work for me, but seems to work for a large majority of people. The presentation on it is beautiful and if she likes it, it will last a lifetime. If not, it wasn't that expensive and it can be sanitized and gifted.

Iconic Bullet - This is the best wireless bullet I've run across on Eden. It's not super rumbly, but it's not buzzy either. It ranges from mild=ish to strong and should work well for most preferences.

Sliquid Organics Natural - Because non-irritating water based lube is important to have!

Acute or Sedux Flare - Both basic silicone dildos that should give her a feel for if she likes firm silicone toys. Modest in size and not overly realistic.

Ultimate Massager - Hands down the best pocket rocket out there. Deep vibrations and tons of settings.

Bgood Deluxe - Lots of settings and deeper vibrations. Not the strongest, but strong enough for most. Even comes with a storage pouch and the overall presentation is nice. Similar to the Seduction but smaller with more options.

Bgee - Super weak but good for pinpointing the G spot.

Black Magic Bullet - A good wired bullet option. Doesn't have weird glitch issues like many and has deep vibrations.

Swell Wand - A good introduction to glass piece. Texture free but with an interesting shape.

Vibrating Champlette - A more realistic shaped dildo but in a pretty color. Firm but forgiving silicone.

Seconding recommendation of the FF toys, though many are larger and will only be suitable if she has plenty of penetration experience. I don't know where she falls on that scale, so I'd be sure she can handle the girth before buying one of those. They do have the MiniVibes which would be good if she's newer to penetration or you just think she'd like small toys. My favorite is the Spring.

Oh, and the Turbo Glider you have listed in the original post is a good bet too. I haven't had any issues on quality with mine.
03/06/2012