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Do you get upset when your partner masterbates in the middle of the night?

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Contributor: CuteDee CuteDee
It's 3am... Im sleeping but am woken to the sounds of groans and hand jerking penis... I think to myself... Why would he masterbate when I am right here (I never say no!)?? His answer is, its quicker to get off by himself!

Would you be a little offended if your partner would rather have a quickie (in the middle of teh night) by themselves?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
12  (11%)
No
82  (74%)
Other
17  (15%)
Total votes: 111
Poll is closed
03/25/2012
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Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
No. It's simple and quick.
03/25/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
No. I can totally understand his point. Now, if this were a continuing problem, where he never wanted to be with me and always preferred masturbating, I would start to wonder. But every now and then? Totally normal, and he has a point - it IS quicker and easier.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Tork48309 Tork48309
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
No. I can totally understand his point. Now, if this were a continuing problem, where he never wanted to be with me and always preferred masturbating, I would start to wonder. But every now and then? Totally normal, and he has a point - it IS ... more
Well said Indiglo.
03/25/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
My Man does this once in a while. I do it once in a great while, as well. Sometimes you just want a no pressure, self indulgent orgasm.

It doesn't bother me. If I think he won't mind, I join in. But, sometimes it's late and I'm so tired, and I know he sometimes does this when he can't sleep, so I will just leave him alone. He doesn't make any noise, though. Just that "thwap thwap thwap thwap" and the bed moving... then the mad grab for the Kleenex, which is right over my head.

As long as he wants you enough so it doesn't interfere with your sex life. I wouldn't worry about it.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Usually when the husband wakes up horny and tries to wake me up, I'm game, till I wake up, then I'm like WTF?! I was asleep and having a good sex dream (cause he was playing with me trying to wake me up, lol). So, if I would take a second and realize what was going on, I would prolly say yes, but sleep is sacred! (We have a 6 month old teething baby). But I think if I woke up to him jerking off, I'd be just as angry if he woke me up for sex. I would tell him take it to the LR where he can watch porn and NOT wake me up. Lol. But not upset cause he wanted a quickie... cause that'd be my fault. Lol.
03/25/2012
Contributor: garylangworthy420 garylangworthy420
i can totally understand this if you were sleeping
03/25/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith Bealove
Usually when the husband wakes up horny and tries to wake me up, I'm game, till I wake up, then I'm like WTF?! I was asleep and having a good sex dream (cause he was playing with me trying to wake me up, lol). So, if I would take a second and ... more
I remember when our babies were young and I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. I would hear him wake up and hope and pray that he'd jerk off instead of waking me up. When you have babies, you need every precious minute of sleep you can get.

Now, when the kids are older and you can get some sleep, things get a lot more frequent and more interesting. But, it still doesn't bother me if he needs a pud pullin' in the middle of the night.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I'm 24 and intially I wanted to post how irritated I would be. We don't have kids and we're long distance again soooo yes, I would be angry. When we were closer, sometimes he would tell me he jerked off instead of coming to see me, and it would make me feel.. a little less than worth the effort, (I mean, considering I've never orgasmed with him) I just enjoyed the time? I don't know.. I'm on the fence
03/25/2012
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
I'd be annoyed at the waking, but not at the masturbating. If he's going to jerk off, that's fine, but if he's going to disturb my sleep, there better be something for me in it!
03/25/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
It's 3am... Im sleeping but am woken to the sounds of groans and hand jerking penis... I think to myself... Why would he masterbate when I am right here (I never say no!)?? His answer is, its quicker to get off by himself!

Would you be a ... more
When I was young I would get really pissed and I said so, like a spoiled prima donna (not an indictment on anyone else, I WAS a nasty shrew about it!) and he quit doing it. He didn't roll over and try to enguage me he would simply leave the room and do the deed. It was a nasty thing of me to do because it said that I didn't accept him as he was and I wouldn't allow him the freedom to own his own sexuality or body.
You see, night masturbation isn't about not being attracted to a guy's mate it's a relief that is quick and easy...especially after a particularly spicy dream.
I would urge ladies to not think of it as a time they missed out on something but see it as their partner being COMFORTABLE enough to do such a private act in their presence. In a sense he IS having sex with you...most likely it's you he is thinking about when he is stroking his cock!
Sexualize the act instead of making it a brush off and you might find him turning over and trying to enguage you more often...it worked for us and it's amazing.
Also that seems to be a young man's act...generally after about age 35 the guy doesn't wake up frantic to orgasm as often. Enjoy it while it lasts and if he's amenable roll over and play with him. When I started doing that we began to repair lots of the damage my insecurity caused our relationship. If he's not amenable just give him a few mintues and let him drift back off to sleep, so long as he's not ignoring you all the time a few jack sessions doesn't really mean anything except he wants to cum.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
It wouldn't matter to me really because if he's that horny he'll just wake me up for it.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
It's 3am... Im sleeping but am woken to the sounds of groans and hand jerking penis... I think to myself... Why would he masterbate when I am right here (I never say no!)?? His answer is, its quicker to get off by himself!

Would you be a ... more
Nope, I don't get offended, he probably masturbated because he doesn't want to wake you.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
No, but I would like to be awake for the show!
03/25/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
When I was young I would get really pissed and I said so, like a spoiled prima donna (not an indictment on anyone else, I WAS a nasty shrew about it!) and he quit doing it. He didn't roll over and try to enguage me he would simply leave the room ... more
YES THIS!

My Man does it a lot less than he did years ago. (He's even older than Sigel, and much older than Arch, Airel ) But, if it happens, I agree with what you said, it's simply allowing him access to his own sexuality for a quick release.

Only if it's interfering with your sex life together ("No, I don't wanna. I just jerked off and I'm drained.") and it happens more often than not, it's a problem. The occasional "Night Jerk" isn't a problem.

As I told a friend of mine, shortly after she got married, "Honey, guys DO this. Don't you?" (Turns out, she didn't. But, she understood that a lot of people do. She was getting enough sex, so it wasn't really an issue for them.)
03/25/2012
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
I wouldn't get upset, so long as it didn't effect our sex-life. In fact, he's done this before so I know I wouldn't get upset. Sometimes, I'm asleep and he just wants to get off quick. It's understandable.
03/25/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
I've masturbated when a partner was asleep next to me. I wake up from a dream horny and they're asleep. I know they need to get up early so I just take care of it by myself. I've had partners do the same. I've never had a partner get upset with me for it. Some will roll over and join in if they wake up from it but I try to keep it down if I know they need sleep. If I wake up to a partner doing it, I'll either join in or, if I'm too tired or they don't want help, I'll roll over and snuggle against them and kiss their neck and touch them to give them a little encouragement. It's awkward to just lay there and listen so I at least acknowledge them and try to give a little nudge in the right direction. As long as the sex in the relationship is still healthy and plentiful and their masturbation isn't taking the place of sex, it's fine. Now, if you tried to start something and he turned you down and THEN waited for you to fall asleep so he could jack off, that'd be lame. I suggest that if you wake up to him doing this, snuggle up, put your arms around him, whisper some sweet, sleepy nothings in his ear and maybe stroke some erogenous zone you can easily access till he comes and then go back to sleep with him.
03/25/2012
Contributor: funluvinmama funluvinmama
I do have a problem with it because we don't have sex often and I have never turned him down for sex, no matter what the time of day. We only have sex once or twice a month and the sex we do have isn't great because of him being over weight and it affecting his performance.

He married me, if he wanted to masturbate, then he should have stayed single.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
I am sound to sleep, but if I woke up I wouldn't mind it, unless she was too loud and took too long...
03/25/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Honestly, I've never seen my hubby masturbate, he only wants real sex with me.
03/25/2012
Contributor: lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by CuteDee
It's 3am... Im sleeping but am woken to the sounds of groans and hand jerking penis... I think to myself... Why would he masterbate when I am right here (I never say no!)?? His answer is, its quicker to get off by himself!

Would you be a ... more
yes out with me
03/25/2012
Contributor: DreamWolf DreamWolf
Other, He has me, so no need to do such things! ^^
03/25/2012
Contributor: dhig dhig
i wouldn't mind at all, but i'd like to watch if i were up, lol
03/25/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I will either watch and join in or just watch. I kind of like the little surprise and so does he when I do it.
03/26/2012
Contributor: ladychristie ladychristie
I voted other because J doesn't wake up in the middle of the night But I have came home from a 10 minute trip to the store and caught him. It doesn't bother me as long as we have sex regularly. Otherwise I'd think there was a problem. I even set a towel out for him I call it his diddle towel because I got tired of getting out of the shower and realizing I didn't check for a towel hanging up and there was none.

Now if it has been a couple days and we haven't had sex I get a little upset, and he has been on the receiving end a few times, it hurts my feelings. I won't talk to him and am very snippy. I don't mean to be but it's one of those things.
03/26/2012
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
I'm with Dhig and js250, I'd be willin 2 watch or join it's not like I haven't had a mutual masterbation every now and then.

However with that being said...
I have a girl friend in California at the time her son was 6-7 years old but her husband would go in the bathroom to masterbate to a magazine. He hadn't touched her since the boy was born. Now THAT I'd be pissed about, her lack of sex was taken are of for a while once she got use to how I answered the door when I new she was on her way, and gotten over the idea of chick on chick being wrong/perverted, all the names that you hear from parents are a kid.
03/26/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I wouldn't care, but he doesn't masturbate at all.
03/26/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
Not at all. It is a turn on.
03/26/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
At 3am absolutely not! I'd probably be trying to get some sleep in so I could go to work feeling rested. But I also have no problem with my partner masturbating and think it's great if she does that.
03/26/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I don't get upset and if I wake up, I try to help out. It doesn't happen very often, though.
03/26/2012