The New Intimacy

Is there a rule of thumb for dating after a relationship?

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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm going to echo everybody else and say that it's right to move on when you feel it's right to move on. If you want to give it a shot with your friend and you're both single, I say go for it. There's no real set time that ... more
I really like that last line...
11/30/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Is there a rule of thumb for how long to wait before getting into another relationship? What about dating and not looking for something long term? I've heard that you should wait half the time of the relationship...but it just seems like wasted ... more
You should have a bit of time to grieve what you've lost, decide how you ended up in losing the relationship and then deciding what you are looking for in a partner. This self assessment time can be useful especially if you have a predilection for picking unsuitable partners or worse... you tend to choose violent partners. Grief counseling isn't a bad idea if the relationship was totally dysfunctional or very long term (5+ years).
Still, there is no real time limit it's all up to you and what you feel is best. If you feel now isn't the time then now ISN'T the time!
11/30/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I really like that last line...
Me too...to be honest JR You have had a rocky time and some fun with someone you already know you like to be around might be just the thing to get some perspective back. If it were me I'd be open to the possibility of something more but at the same time I'd just be willing to have a bit of fun. The main thing is to be honest with your friend (best way to start a relationship is with someone you would ordinarily consider a friend in my opinion) and let her know you are a bit conflicted. She knew you before and she'll be sympathetic now...besides it sounds like you are in similar situations. Be gentle with each other and have some fun. The worst that can happen, then, is you have a really great, tight friendship!
11/30/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
it's a different length of time for each person. once you're certain you're over it, then it's all systems are go.
11/30/2011
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Is there a rule of thumb for how long to wait before getting into another relationship? What about dating and not looking for something long term? I've heard that you should wait half the time of the relationship...but it just seems like wasted ... more
Do what feels right-take the time you need and then move on.
12/02/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Who cares if you are "completely over" the past relationship or not? As well what does that really mean? That you never even think of that person again? Sounds like psychobabble to me.
My spouse was... difficult. She died a little more than seventeen months ago. I will never be "completely over" that relationship. I did not wait for someone else's appropriate time to start new. If you need therapy by all means use it but life if too damn short to wait around before beginning to love again.
12/04/2011