The New Intimacy

How do I get it through to him?

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Contributor: ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we should get back together because I was always his perfect girl. I've told him at least 3 times that I don't think we should be together, but he keeps asking.

So what do you think I should do to get him to finally understand??
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Tell him to F off.
Eliza , voenne , Tori Rebel , Beck , ~LaUr3n~ , wetone123 , kinky girlfriend , Jake'n'bake , LoveDove , ihavenipples , Dreaus , Gunsmoke , kittenfacery , clix69 , hall5885 , gsfanatic , AlianneCimorene , Nirelan , mjtheprincess , Deeder , Cheluh10 , Mrs.Tee
22
Give him every reason I have for us not to be together, even if it takes a week.
El-Jaro , Hallmar82 , Badass , Mr. E , Form 7 , unfulfilled , Deeder
7
Ignore him.
AJvil , Holly Hox , Ryuson , Eliza , Ansley , dhig , NicNat , Ms. Spice , Kitka , toxie m , Stinkytofu10 , OrangeKushBB , EnterTheFist , Jaimes , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , T-n-T , Badass , Mr. E , Taylor , Shellz31 , GonetoLovehoney , Ghost , wetone123 , kinky girlfriend , SexyStuff , Jake'n'bake , Ice1 , LoveDove , bayosgirl , GS500 , The Geek , BlooJay , anonkitty , Jenny Smith , LavenderSkies , solitudinarian , mpfm , pixxie87 , padmeamidala , Sinfully , MissBre , gsfanatic , AlianneCimorene , Nirelan , potstickers , VanillaFreeSex , MidnightStorm , FallFire , mjtheprincess , Deeder , Stagger13 , Sweet-n-Playful , mastersonv , Kirill1171 , Missmarc
55
Give him another chance.
I think your choices suck, so I'm clicking this and posting how I would handle this craptacular situation.
mistressg , Eliza , eeep , Badass , deltalima , Mwar , VioletMoonstone , Teaser
8
Total votes: 92 (77 voters)
Poll is closed
01/27/2012
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Contributor: mistressg mistressg
If you don't think you should be together, you should tell him as much. If you want to give it a shot, and you trust him and are comfortable with that, go for it. If he can't take no for an answer, I don't see how speaking to him would be a good idea. If you really value your friendship with him, then perhaps, but if he refuses to respect your wishes it's probably not worth dealing with.
01/27/2012
Contributor: AJvil AJvil
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we ... more
Don't give in because of him bugging. Do what YOU want to do.
01/27/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Friendship is a two way street, you need to respect each others feelings and wishes. If he doesn't respect your lack of interest in pursuing a relationship, you need to let him know once and for all that your friendship is on the line if he keeps pressuring you. And stick to it.
01/27/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I agree. If he can't respect your boundaries as a friend, then it's time to stop having any contact with him. If you continue arguing with him, or trying to reason with him, he's just engaging you exactly how he wants to.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
You shouldn't deal with him pressuring you, and if he is, he's obviously not a good friend. I agree with what everyone else has said before. If he still doesn't listen after you tell him how it is, then you should just start ignoring him.
01/27/2012
Contributor: voenne voenne
You really just have to put your foot down and tell him no: If he can't be just a friend to you anymore, then you need to end the friendship before things get out of hand. Guys seem to never know what they want, and this just sounds like a rebound tactic to me. I'm pretty sure when you broke up, there was a reason, and you should stick with that before anyone gets hurt again. Don't just tell him "you think" that it's a bad idea, tell him that it is.

Good luck. This sort of thing isn't easy.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
If he hasn't gotten the point by now there's no sense in wasting your time trying to explain it to him, just ignore him.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I'm pretty straightforward, I'd tell him to get out of your life if he can't understand the word 'no'. But that's just me and I know not everyone is so cut-throat. Maybe tell him you're not comfortable talking to him or spending time around him until he understands that the topic is not up for discussion??
01/27/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Just ignore him. He isn't even worth the time to respond. If he keeps pestering, tell him he's not worth your time.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'm pretty straightforward, I'd tell him to get out of your life if he can't understand the word 'no'. But that's just me and I know not everyone is so cut-throat. Maybe tell him you're not comfortable talking to him or ... more
Same here. Just tell him......"it didn't work the first time I don't think it is a good idea and if you don't respect that fuck off!"
01/27/2012
Contributor: eeep eeep
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Same here. Just tell him......"it didn't work the first time I don't think it is a good idea and if you don't respect that fuck off!"
I agree with this. I have a friend who is in a similar boat, and she could never get it through the guy's head that it wasn't going to happen - no matter how blunt she was. It eventually screwed up any friendship they had left. You have to be straight with him that you have no interest whatsoever of dating him again, and that he needs to respect that. If he can't, then you either will have to deal with it or break off the friendship.
01/27/2012
Contributor: EnterTheFist EnterTheFist
I would say ignore him. All the contact you make with him just reinforces his behavior.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
Ignore him. He thrives off attention he gets from you, whether it's negative or positive. He'll get bored when he doesn't get his attention.
01/27/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Throw it all out there. Don't leave him with any doubt or in-road. THEN if he bugs, tell him to bugger off.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we ... more
Give him every reason under the sun you think for a millisecond might be a good reason, and then iggy that jerk. And if he hits you up with the same nonesense, you tell him, in your own words, "If you really loved me, you would stop trying to get with me/ get in my pants, and be a good friend to me like before!"
01/27/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we ... more
The romantic in me would say give him another chance but your annoyance is an answer that you should just tell him to screw himself.
01/28/2012
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Why not cut off communication?
01/28/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I'd end it, this isn't the kind of relationship that can be a friendship.
01/28/2012
Contributor: Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
The question is
Do you love him?

if you love him, or have feeling for him sometimes it is best to give it another shot. Four years is a long time, so you guys must have had some sort of strong attachment. I would say if you have any feelings for him to give it a shot, try and work out what went wrong last time and hope that it will all work out.

Relationships are hard sometimes, I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years and we have our ruff patches, but it has ALWAYS been worth it to work it out. . . Sometimes you just need that extra push from someone else to remind you that things that are good are worth fighting for.

I hope everything works out for you, best of luck.
01/29/2012
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
Ignore him a ton.
01/29/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
The only reason he needs or deserves to hear is: "I don't want to be with you anymore. Period." and that obviously hasn't worked so the only avenue left is to block him from every social application imaginable and move on with your life. If need be, and you're concerned about your well-being, notify your local police department that there has been suspicious activity in the area and you would appreciate it if they would increase their patrol traffic during times when you know he doesn't have obligations such as work or whatever.
01/30/2012
Contributor: ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The only reason he needs or deserves to hear is: "I don't want to be with you anymore. Period." and that obviously hasn't worked so the only avenue left is to block him from every social application imaginable and move on with your ... more
It's not that serious. We don't even live in the same region of the country. But, those are good ideas for someone who is in a worse situation than I am.
02/07/2012
Contributor: ddd masturbator(bye all!) ddd masturbator(bye all!)
Thanks everyone for the support and responses!!!

I just needed to hear it another time that I'm doing the right thing.

He has FINALLY gotten it through his head that he needs to give up on us ever working out again...

I still think sometimes he has a glimmer of hope, but I ignore those comments when they pop up on my phone...
02/07/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
If he values your friendship, he should respect your wishes.
04/17/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
Ignore him, he's not getting the hint on purpose. He just wants what he can't have.
04/17/2012
Contributor: lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we ... more
i just changed my number and moved on
04/17/2012
Contributor: breebree breebree
if you dont want him then thats all the matters
04/25/2012
Contributor: Jenny Smith Jenny Smith
Quote:
Originally posted by ddd masturbator(bye all!)
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We were friends for 4 years before hooking up. Shortly after we broke up, he dated two different girls. He was with the second girl for a year and a half before things finally went south. He keeps bugging me that we ... more
Ignore him
04/26/2012
Contributor: pixxie87 pixxie87
ignore him and live ur life
05/24/2012