Quote:
Actually, that's just one of the challenges we have against us (though he insists he doesn't see women as mere tools for men's pleasure. Well, who would admit that anyway?!)There's also financial, health, and immigration stress-whew!
Originally posted by
Sex'и'Violence
It's a shitty situation. Definitely one of the main reasons I would never date outside of my own culture.
From where I stand, here's the main problems:
"they don't do that (men giving oral sex to women) in my ... more
From where I stand, here's the main problems:
"they don't do that (men giving oral sex to women) in my ... more
It's a shitty situation. Definitely one of the main reasons I would never date outside of my own culture.
From where I stand, here's the main problems:
"they don't do that (men giving oral sex to women) in my country"
"He comes from a country where women are unfortunately often cut, so maybe his experience with intact women who can actually feel pleasure is limited."
It sounds like your husband was (by no fault of his own) brought up in a society with not only complete disregard for female sexual pleasure- but actually a disdain for it. You can probably expect years of trying to rehabilitate him but I wouldn't expect too much.
on a side note- The fact that he changed his tune on giving you oral when you threatened to remove that bit of pleasure from him shows that he has no actual religious or cultural motive to not satisfy you. That combined with the fact that he is doing the bare minimum (or less than) to pleasure you and is doing it for the sole purpose of being able to get off himself does make him a selfish lover. A person can be a selfish lover without being selfish in other aspects of life. less
From where I stand, here's the main problems:
"they don't do that (men giving oral sex to women) in my country"
"He comes from a country where women are unfortunately often cut, so maybe his experience with intact women who can actually feel pleasure is limited."
It sounds like your husband was (by no fault of his own) brought up in a society with not only complete disregard for female sexual pleasure- but actually a disdain for it. You can probably expect years of trying to rehabilitate him but I wouldn't expect too much.
on a side note- The fact that he changed his tune on giving you oral when you threatened to remove that bit of pleasure from him shows that he has no actual religious or cultural motive to not satisfy you. That combined with the fact that he is doing the bare minimum (or less than) to pleasure you and is doing it for the sole purpose of being able to get off himself does make him a selfish lover. A person can be a selfish lover without being selfish in other aspects of life. less
I will say that if it doesn't improve when our life improves, I don't think I can live the rest of my life this way. Although I am generally against divorce (it wouldn't be divorce actually, but annullment at this point), I don't feel that I'm actually married because I didn't even have a proper wedding and honeymoon (lack of funds and time.) Yet another thing I resent...sigh. I've told him he has until the end of May to give me a wedding. I figure I should be well enough to support myself by then.
