The New Intimacy

If Your Spouse Was Cheating, Would You Leave?

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Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
We have an open relationship.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I don't think cheating is the be-all, end-all horrible thing for relationships. I would be hurt if the boyfriend cheated - but because he didn't trust me enough to communicate what the actual issue is. It depends on how long the extra ... more
The fact that they could be exposing you to possible std's is part and parcel of the cheating. The whole situation shows a lack of respect for you, and if you take into consideration the std's a lack of concern for your health and safety.

@ Alura Une - The thing that makes it the hardest is that you really do lose that feeling of knowing the person you are with, and it takes a REAAALLY long time to believe anything that comes out of their mouth ever again. Even then, you know that just trusting them doesn't make it true.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
I stayed and we worked on what was causing him to want to cheat. Turns out he DIDN'T want to cheat and we found a solution that allowed both of us to be happy and feel fulfilled.
If I found out he was cheating now I'd probably leave since there is not reason for him to cheat, no reason to lie.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I have a hard time with this question because my wife and I share a trust makes the prospect so remote. My inclination would be to investigate the situation and if the situation was irreconcilable, yes I would leave.
I love this reply because it is so genuine and speaks of a deep love. Sometimes you have to love the other person enough to do what is best for yourself. If you simply cannot resolve the issue then you have to walk away and allow both of you (or however many are in your circle) to heal and find peace.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
What if you have a child (or children) together? Would that have a huge influence in your decision?

I have a daughter and if my husband cheated on me, I would have to keep in mind that little girl and how this would effect her. It's hard ... more
If you have children you realize that your husband's cheating doesn't make him a bad father...his actions with his child decide whether he is a good father or not.
Even so your child deserves the right to decide about her father and have the best relationship she can have with him. This means you act like adults and part as amicably as you can, or really dig deep and work on your problems. Your child needs and wants her parents to be happy, preferably together but apart is better than miserable fighting adults using her as a bludgeon or worse, an excuse.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I love this reply because it is so genuine and speaks of a deep love. Sometimes you have to love the other person enough to do what is best for yourself. If you simply cannot resolve the issue then you have to walk away and allow both of you (or ... more
Arien - thanks. You understand both the love I have for my wife and the need to do what's best. I've read about how you've dealt with life's challenges and have a strong respect for your thoughtful approach to life.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I have no idea what I would do.

It depends on the situation, where we are in our life. Why it happenned, etc. I think my decision would depend on many things more than just his behaviour.
02/03/2011
Contributor: SexKittenXxX SexKittenXxX
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
If you have children you realize that your husband's cheating doesn't make him a bad father...his actions with his child decide whether he is a good father or not.
Even so your child deserves the right to decide about her father and have ... more
I love this response. I would hope that if this ever happened, which I cannot forsee it occuring since we both have a mutual trust with each other, that we would still remain on friendly terms for my child.
02/04/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
i would leave. That takes the trust right out of the marriage. and without trust, you cant have a relationship. (not a good one at least)
02/05/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
It is hard to do cut and dried, if I had to guess something- I'd be out of there. I understand how easily that could happen, but I'm not doing it, and could I ever trust again?
02/05/2011
Contributor: KrissyRoro KrissyRoro
For me, no mater what, I would LEAVE
02/05/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
gone.
02/07/2011
Contributor: 0letitgrow 0letitgrow
It would be very very hard not to leave.
02/07/2011
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I don't believe anyone can say for sure what they would do until they were standing in the middle of this situation. For me, it brought up a lot of feelings that I didn't understand. I use to say I'd leave, but when it actually happened it was the furthest from what I wanted. It was weird to be crying and to want the person who hurt me so badly to be the one to hold me and comfort me.

I stayed. We talked about everything. We've worked through this and work hard every day to not get back to that place.
02/07/2011
Contributor: hive83 hive83
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
Yes once the trust is gone so is the relationship sorry but for me that's just the way it is.
02/07/2011
Contributor: mistermasterman mistermasterman
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
marriage counseling would help i believe but i know my wife would never do that
02/12/2011
Contributor: VenusianThunder VenusianThunder
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
It's likely that I would end the relationship, but depends on the circumstances. Given my openness to the idea of an open relationship, cheating would constitute a breach of trust that would signify serious problems with the relationship itself.
I agree with this. I would be open to an open relationship, so long as everything is talked about and no one is sneaking around, so if they were to cheat, yeah, it would likely be over.
02/12/2011
Contributor: Miss Jenn Miss Jenn
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
I would leave. I could not handle that. IF we had an open relationship, even still I think I would have to. If the relationship was open, and my husband slept with someone w/o us talking about it first, it would be a breach of trust, and I cannot deal with that. Same goes for me - i would expect the same from him.

SO to answer your question - cheating cannot be rectified. In My Opinion.
02/12/2011
Contributor: WHITEMIKE WHITEMIKE
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
Gone. we made a pact at our wedding, and i am not talking about our wedding vows. We agreed. whatever happened before our wedding day was our past. from that day forward there would be no lies, no cheating, and no one else was first in our relationship. It was a hardcore discussion we had 21 years ago, but when you establish the rules and consequences from the start, there is no wiggle room. Both of us endured previous bullshit relationships in the past, so a serious commitment was agreed upon. We only spent $100 on our wedding and no one was invited.
02/26/2011
Contributor: SapphirexIce SapphirexIce
I have a son so yes if i found out he cheated id find me a new man!
02/27/2011
Contributor: HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
Of course I would. Once a cheater always a cheater. No exceptions.
02/27/2011
Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
Quote:
Originally posted by SexKittenXxX
Some people say yes, some say no ... some may even say they would do marriage counseling. What would YOU do if your spouse was cheating? Would you leave?
Yes, because is little as she puts out for me on the grounds "I'm just not that into sex" she's fucking gone the second she even thinks about getting it from someone else.
02/28/2011
Contributor: Ora87 Ora87
Well from my own experience i would say no i wouldn't leave if it was the first time. My husband cheated on me and if he weren't my husband i would have left instantly but considering he is i gave it one shot but if it were to happen again i would be gone. I gave him the choice of either trying to make it work or ending it completely. We have been doing really good since then but that isn't always the case i have heard. I think it really depends on the person who has cheated and their reasoning behind it but i always think communication is a good thing to have after the infidelity has come to surface.
02/28/2011
Contributor: jazz4me jazz4me
I also think it depends on the situation, it is so easy to say you will leave but once it actually happens to you, you will find that it is not that easy. I had a husband that cheated and staid around for a long time.
03/02/2011
Contributor: MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
If i was married and their cheating on me? Then fuck i'd get a devorce.
03/06/2011
Contributor: lick123 lick123
yes. honesty and integrity are number one. why waste each others time?
03/07/2011
Contributor: Britny Britny
I would not leave him however I would want counseling.
03/09/2011
Contributor: minifreak minifreak
Depends on the situation...
03/16/2011
Contributor: DancerLove DancerLove
That is actually a little bit of a problem in my marriage. My husband and I got marriage in June of 2010 and within 2 days he had already kissed his previous ex. Three months after that, I found out that he kissed another girl. The next month I heard that he was letting 2 different girls talk sex to him. One was 14 which he ignored and the other was 15 or 16 and he would let her continue. I had messaged her and told her it was very inappropriate to do that and she had no idea he was married. The texts asked him to please not stop talking to her just because she wouldn't have sex with him. He said ok. I was soooo shocked beyond belief. I was pissed. At that point I knew that I had to get out. No, he had no actual sexual affair, but emotioal definitely. We are still married right now, but I am ready to get divorce papers because of abuse crap. But yes, if one cheats.. you should leave, because if it happend once, it could most certainly happen again. My husband has proved that. I hope it goes well for you.
03/17/2011
Contributor: DancerLove DancerLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss T
I can't imagine it ever happening with my current husband, but if it ever did then yes I would likely leave. Because in my previous marriage he did cheat numerous times and he is the kids' father. I stayed and tried to work through things not ... more
I have to say, I am really proud of you for doing that. My husband is that way too. I guess it may be a little harder since we don't have any kids.
03/17/2011