Really, just being honest about what you want is the best way to approach it.

When we first started with anal play, My Man just said, "I love your ass so much. I'd love to fuck your ass. Can we think of a way to make it work?" Years ago, when I was younger, I was like, "No way." (although he did occasionally rim me, and although it kind of scared me, it was very exciting.) But, things changed as our sex life had a Renaissance in the past few years.

We talked about it a lot, and I read things from Nina Hartley and Tristan Taramino about how to perform safe and pleasurable anal sex. Seeing and feeling his reaction to seeing anal scenes in porn really made me want to try it, because I saw how excited he got. I had certainly fantasized about it, but was scared, because I thought it would hurt.

LOTS of preparation is necessary. We got a few toys and I HATED them then. Him training me, by just using a finger at first, very gently and very slowly and working up to taking more and eventually his entire penis, over a period of a few weeks or months worked best for us. I didn't like anal toys until after we had full on anal sex, but some people prefer to warm up with toys.

Just talk to him, maybe the next time you have the kids in bed early (or before they wake up for the day, that's how we have sex a LOT) put on a video with some anal sex in it, and maybe talk about how fun it looks.

Take it slowly. Use lube, every time for every penetration, even his fingers. If it hurts STOP, something is wrong. There is a difference between a stimulating stretching feeling and actual pain. There should be NO pain. And anything which goes into an ass, whether it be a finger or a toy or a penis, may NOT go into a vagina without thorough washing beforehand! And did I mention lube? A good THICK waterbased lube is my favorite. I like Sliquid Ride H20 Sliquid H20 Ride It's our favorite all around lube and what we use for anal most of the time. We also will use LELO Personal Moisturizer as our second choice. LELO Personal Moisturizer Lubricants Both are glycerin and paraben free.

But, you have to talk to him about it. less

Often people say "put on a porn video about _____" when people ask about getting started. I'm not sure this is a good enough idea to get a blanket recommendation. Some people don't like porn, so it wouldn't be a good idea to spring it on them. For an activity like anal there has been much discussion over and over how they don't do it properly in porn, so that's another strike against it. You should be able to bring things up without relying on porn. Perhaps say "I've tried this by myself and like it, would you be willing to..." less