I voted for my current partner. He'd have a heart attack and probably dump me.

I am a cross-dresser who wears panties,dresses etc. My wife loves to have her way with me and I love it!

I like giving up control once in a while. It's a nice change from my job where I am a manager.

How things change - being bold is not in her personality - Oh please!

Yes, she's changed. ......A lot. Especially when she gets in one of those moods.
Watch out !

Guess she got tired of being the receiver. And discovered the power

Change is a good thing - the changes I've seen in my wife are nothing short of miraculous!

Ex. last night she tied me to the door then the bed and let the whips and paddles run wild - I'm still sitting a little gingerly - but you know about that - right!

We don't actually have a true whip - whips tend to have long handles and take a fair amount of expertise to use well. What you may refer to as a whip may actually be a crop - or a flogger.

Equestrian shops are often a better source for crops and bats than your typical sex toy store. Here's what we use:

Tawse - a split leather paddle with a history in Scottish schools

5 different paddles with lengths from 12"-24" - the most expensive ones are not the better options

Short handled leather flogger with 1/2" wide falls for a thudding feel

Glass handled leather flogger with 1/4" falls that give a sting - but can also be used as a teaser - soft leather tracing and teasing your intimate parts is quite fun

Riding crop - about 30" long with a narrow tip. Good for when she needs reach or wants pinpoint control

Doggin Bat - an equestrian implement about 24" long with a 2" wide 'bat' nice for general discipline and building up to things that are more aggressive

Short Bat - same as above except only about 14" long. It's great for close in use

I'm looking to get a studded leather paddle and possible one with holes to add some sting to the thud.

I'm way to timid for canes - the pain and bruising are way more intense than I need - at least at this point. Likewise, we have avoided wooden paddles.

I also have a leather collar and leash. I tried a couple from sex shops but they were both expensive and ill fitting. I bought an off the rack leather dog collar - and I love it. It fits well and is very comfortable. My wife was a bit perplexed by the collar (she's not a fan of blindfolds either) but now she loves having the leash to tug on to assert her authority.

Best of luck - it would be great to hear about your experiences. My wife can take small doses of impact play - so knowing what women like would be helpful for when we switch.