Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out, especially at me. less

I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are really not a huge health risk for those with normal immune systems. It's also a manageable illness. And also herpes tends to "burn out" as people get older, meaning they get fewer and fewer outbreaks. Some people have had ONE herpes outbreak and not an other one.

Those of you who listed STDs; is a CURED STD, but one in someone's history still a "deal breaker?" less

Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.

At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.

I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.

So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie. less

My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again. less

My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again. less

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less

I can only pick one? I'm a picky chick. Education, (I like educated men, smart men.) Poverty, (sometimes it's not the person's fault, but I stay at home,(and run a business that makes no money at the present) we both can't. I'm NOT supporting a man, Uh Uh.) I can't tolerate Hideously Right Wing. Or Racist. Plus if a guy doesn''t want sex at least 6-10 times a week, no deal. I am High Maintainence.

I mean a girl has to have Standards. Right? less

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.) less

There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be very, very picky. It's for your own good. less