My wife is very shy about it, despite the fact that when we first got together, we had some frank discussions and she said "of course" when we discussed her masturbating.

She will hold a vibrator on herself if I am fingering her and/or sucking on her nipples, but she has to feel like I'm directly participating before she will do it.

She recently started while we were in an intimate moment while I wasn't directly touching her, and as soon as I commented on how hot it was, she stopped. It didn't ruin the mood, but she wanted me to start intercourse and "finish up."

I woke up one night to see her going to town on herself, and it was a huge turn on. I let her know I was awake, and we had a very nice lovemaking session, but afterward, when I mentioned that I got turned on watching her when I first woke up, she denied that she was doing anything.

I know part of the problem is that when we first got married, she was "functionally" Catholic. We didn't have premarital sex often, but we did do everything but intercourse. She's grown more and more conservatively Catholic in the last few years, even though I still catch a glimpse of her once in a while with a stray hand moving southward.

She has really taken it upon herself to present an "image," and I wish I could get her to relax and understand that I'm fine with it, and I think its completely normal, and a turn on. If I thought she were literally against masturbation, I think I might handle it better, but its clear that she's against admitting that there is nothing wrong with masturbation.

My ex-wife and my long term girlfriend from before I met my current wife were both very willing to indulge, and very happy to take care of their own needs when they felt they needed to do so. My ex-wife was the first one to suggest we rent adult movies and that we buy her a vibrator, and my long term girlfriend would call me when we were apart so I could hear her when she felt the urge to do so.