Quote:
Originally posted by
TheSinDoll
A lot of people who have posted have made some really good remarks, and I totally agree with many of them.
Communication is the best thing. As soon as he showed you that video, a good alternate to posting here would have been to talk with him
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A lot of people who have posted have made some really good remarks, and I totally agree with many of them.
Communication is the best thing. As soon as he showed you that video, a good alternate to posting here would have been to talk with him about your past experience and how his actions triggered you.
I hope the two of you can sit down and have a conversation about boundaries and where both of yours meet.
I wish you the best of luck!
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I agree with TheSinDoll. It's between you two. Communicate about it. It doesn't matter whether I'd be pissed or turned on by it; it matters how you felt. It may have been a shock right away, but what do you think about it now that you've had time to think?
Discuss it and come to a decision about the future. If you don't want him to take photos or videos again, then make that clear. If you're okay with nude photos/videos shared between you two, then let him know you were blindsided by it, but are willing to participate under your own conditions and make those clear as well.
Most of us have done things we thought were cool or 'right' but turned out to hurt someone we love. I hope this was one of those cases, and you don't punish him severely for something he might have thought was a turn-on, rather than a breaking of trust.
No one but you two knew about the video until you posted it here. But now many here know about it because you posted this. He may feel humiliated or embarrassed, being exposed about this online rather than you coming to him to talk about it. Does he know you posted this? Did he know before you posted it? There's different ways of breaking trust or putting our partner at risk of embarrassment and humiliation. Sneaky or not.
Sounds like you two have things to talk about.
Just my $0.02 worth. (and probably not as valuable.) :-/
Talk - learn - heal - love