Have you ever been so freaked out by a partner's fantasy that you felt differently about them after hearing it?

Contributor: celibacysucks celibacysucks
Fantasy Freak Out
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, but I got over it
14  (10%)
Yes, and it changed/ended our relationship
10  (7%)
No, but there are things that COULD bother me that much
62  (44%)
No, it takes more than a fantasy to freak me out
55  (39%)
Total votes: 141
Poll is closed
11/19/2010
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Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
It's never happened before and likely never to happen in the future. But yes, there are things that would freak me out beyond repair, like if they wanted to really assault someone or were into children or something. Oh that person would be kicked to the curb! Or maybe even reported!
11/19/2010
Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
I'm usually afraid I'll freak out the hubby but it hasn't happened yet lol I don't think my fantasy's are extreme though and certainly not immoral or illegal.
11/19/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I think what really punctured my dysfunctional marriage was finding my ex-husband's self-written mother-son porn about two years into it. It finally made sense of why he wanted me pregnant - he wanted to fantasize about that. Where the low-libido came in and his blaming me for scaring it out of him, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it's part of having a mother fixation. But after that I was pretty much sexually dead with him, which was fine because we weren't having any.

Clueless me - I took him into marriage counseling and drove the therapist into having to color her rapidly greying hair, start drinking after twenty years of sobriety, and eventually her throwing us out of her office. I felt really bad about that, but I had no clue what was really going on. He refused to believe anything was wrong with him - after all it was 'my fault for getting worked up about a genital sneeze'. And I believed him.

I have a sudden desire to throttle him now. I suppose for his sake he's lucky he's back in Arkansas. Never again.
11/20/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I think what really punctured my dysfunctional marriage was finding my ex-husband's self-written mother-son porn about two years into it. It finally made sense of why he wanted me pregnant - he wanted to fantasize about that. Where the low-libido ... more
Wow. That's . . . I'm at a loss. Glad you're rid of that guy!
11/20/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Wow. That's . . . I'm at a loss. Glad you're rid of that guy!
Yeah, squiffy shit. I'm surprised we didn't end up on Jerry Springer.

This is the only place/time I've ever shared this. And I think it's brought up all the disgust and betrayal I should have felt at the time. Back then I was more scared of being alone than anything else, that's all I can remember.

I'm ashamed of those ten years of my life - and it's all of my adult life.
11/20/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
He has never shared anything with me that has shocked me and I don't think he ever will. He is a really traditional guy. Using toys is a little much for him soemtimes so his fantasies are very limited. However, I have shocked him with my fantasies and it weirded him out (BDSM) but it hasn't changed our relationship.
11/20/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
It takes a hell of a lot more than a fantasy to push me away. Nothing surprises me or freaks me out - I'm way too freaky myself to be afraid of anything. HAAH!!!
11/20/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I think what really punctured my dysfunctional marriage was finding my ex-husband's self-written mother-son porn about two years into it. It finally made sense of why he wanted me pregnant - he wanted to fantasize about that. Where the low-libido ... more
Too disturbing for words. You deserve so much better than that! No question or hesitation about that, missy!
11/20/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
I've been shocked enough by fantasies I've seen in fandom to have a pretty good handle on what would shock me enough to upset a relationship, and it would have to be extreme and dangerous enough to also warrant a call to the authorities.
11/20/2010
Contributor: chocolate77 chocolate77
My fantasies would have me single in this relationship
11/20/2010
Contributor: Kimbertrees Kimbertrees
Fantasies don't shock me simply because I have some pretty weird ones myself. Besides, not all fantasies have to become realities.
11/20/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Nah, Im pretty open and am willing to try almost anything - never know if Im going to enjoy it til I try!
11/20/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I have a few fantasies or fetishes that would weird most out which is why I am always upfront and honest in the beginning because I know some people would leave me over my fantasies. I don't delude myself into thinking that my fantasies are something that people will approve of.
11/20/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I think some of the fetishes and such the furry community are into squicks me more than anything my bf has ever admitted to me that he fantasizes about. But I won't knock anyone for them, that's their thing, not mine.
11/20/2010
Contributor: celibacysucks celibacysucks
Quote:
Originally posted by TitsMcScandal
I have a few fantasies or fetishes that would weird most out which is why I am always upfront and honest in the beginning because I know some people would leave me over my fantasies. I don't delude myself into thinking that my fantasies are ... more
Wow...now that has me seriously curious.
11/20/2010
Contributor: celibacysucks celibacysucks
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I think what really punctured my dysfunctional marriage was finding my ex-husband's self-written mother-son porn about two years into it. It finally made sense of why he wanted me pregnant - he wanted to fantasize about that. Where the low-libido ... more
It took me a long time to realize that my ex's sexual problems were HIS issue and not about me. They had nothing to do with me...although he certainly led me to believe it was me. Figuring that out was incredibly liberating...and sometimes I want to go back and give him a well-deserved junk punch.
11/20/2010
Contributor: OroNomi OroNomi
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
It takes a hell of a lot more than a fantasy to push me away. Nothing surprises me or freaks me out - I'm way too freaky myself to be afraid of anything. HAAH!!!
This. I never realized how many desires I had been repressing until I met my husband. He introduced me to a whole new world of pleasure. Thank goodness!!
11/20/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by celibacysucks
It took me a long time to realize that my ex's sexual problems were HIS issue and not about me. They had nothing to do with me...although he certainly led me to believe it was me. Figuring that out was incredibly liberating...and sometimes I ... more
So you know exactly how I felt when I realized it, too. He was already long gone by then, but ... yeah ... 'just come back a moment so I can maim you'. My subsequent affair after I kicked him out finally straightened it out for me that my drive was quite healthy and there are men who do appreciate it. Never settling ever again.

(I think I had your profile name as my status quote after my affair ended. It does indeed, and not in a good way.)
11/20/2010
Contributor: fabjennie fabjennie
*sigh* It almost ended a relationship. If I hadn't been able to laugh about it I would have run when he asked if I would pee on him.
11/28/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
It's never happened, but even though I think I'm a pretty open/accepting person, I'm sure there's something way out there that would freak me out a bit.
12/30/2010
Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
My ex used to look at young girls on MY computer, and it wasn't so much that he was looking, it was more the lying. I confronted him a LOT of times and he never fessed up to it. I would not have had as much of an issue if we could have had an open dialogue about his secrets, but that was not the deal-breaker.
12/30/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
My boyfriend has never actually told me about any of his fantasies. He claims he has none. My ex boyfriend liked pokemon hentai. I accidentally found it once. That freaked me out, but I don't think it was a fantasy.
12/30/2010
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
The first time my husband told me he wanted to watch me blow another man I was a little weirded out. But then we talked about it and he said that it was part of his fantasy to have a threesome. The more we talked about it the more I started getting into it as well.
12/31/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
My husband has said some things through the years that have thrown me a bit. But I do get over it. Sometimes we just discuss it. Some things we have done, after the shock wore off.

When I was younger they were really not that kinky. I just was young and inexperienced. If I had left him over them, I wouldn't have learned and experienced what I have now.
01/06/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
My ex liked having sex with me when I was barely conscious. We would get drunk and he liked it best when I was passing out at the end of the night. He didn't tell me this until after we split up and it freaked me out a bit. He said he liked it because he could do pretty much anything and not worry about me.... WTF did he want to do?!?!
01/06/2011
Contributor: ana123 ana123
Other than wanting sex with children I don't think any fantasy could drive me away from my boyfriend. But he is pretty traditional. Sex toys were a shocker for him when I asked for a vibrator so I seriously doubt he has any over the top fantasies.
01/06/2011
Contributor: rdytogo rdytogo
Nothing to this point has actually freaked me out, but I'm sure there could be something somebody could come up with that might, so that's why I choose that option. Can't rule out every possibility.
01/06/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by celibacysucks
Fantasy Freak Out
A fantasy is not a desire to act. It doesn't reflect on the character of a person and is just a fantasy. Sometimes the very thing we would NEVER do is the one thing our brains shock us with, we work this all out with fantasy. This isn't coming out how I mean it but I've not had a lot of sleep....
01/06/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by ana123
Other than wanting sex with children I don't think any fantasy could drive me away from my boyfriend. But he is pretty traditional. Sex toys were a shocker for him when I asked for a vibrator so I seriously doubt he has any over the top fantasies.
Don't place money on that bet....it's the same one Sigel made for many years while he tried to fit me into the 'traditional' box. Sex toys made me blush and stutter but my fantasies, had I told him, would (and still do) blister paint.
01/06/2011