The New Intimacy

When you met your man . . .

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Contributor: Elaira Elaira
How 'domesticated' was he?

When I say 'domesticated', I mean he cleans up after himself, keeps a decent living space, takes care of himself, does his laundry/dishes, knows how to cook . . . etc.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
He had never been married and he wasn't domesticated at all!
Elaira , AOutrajus , Sammi , Kdlips , ID42 , RedGoddess , mandaj , Paula , Teacookie , Modern^Spank^Anthem , fredacarl , LoooveMonkey , jr2012 , Melan!e
14  (12%)
He had never been married and he was sort of domesticated.
indiglo , Dusk , ToyGurl , shentel , LikeSunshineDust , newlady , Maeby , Ajax , Coralbell , P'Gell , Jul!a , ss143 , ichigostrawberry , ZenaidaMacroura , Starrr , UunicornN , GravyCakes , link82 , UnknownGirl , That Man from Mars , toxie m , darthkitt3n , VieuxCarre , DCorrelle , deletedacct , Redboxbaby , Miss Anonymous , newfoundlust , Shyness , aliceinthehole , IrishLassie , zracer , CAKES , null , Sinfully , thebest , rockym690 , LilLostLenore , leanright69 , Darklyvan , Lucky21 , wrmbreze , onehotmomma , (k)InkyIvy , Daemonin , Peggi , *HisMrs* , LavenderSkies , HannahPanda , MissCandyland , Princess-Kayla ♥ , jeangel246 , KyotoAngel , Breas , Zombirella , PussyPurr , Feisty , nova2014 , Deeder , Marie Hanna , mjtheprincess , butts
62  (54%)
He had never been married and he was totally domesticated.
MaryExy , liilii080 , The Curious Couple , OhMy! , mandiegk , MN58 , Fuck it. , SiNn , Airen Wolf , teeny <3 , jc123 , Bignuf , KsPlaything , Ivy Wilde , redstarr681 , Vanessa Weiss , Sapphires13 , Aberrant , 7Miles , MimicMouse , GS28 , potstickers , bayosgirl , NavyDoll87 , cburger , SecretKinksters , djande01 , shorejen9 , hem , Kitten has left the site
30  (26%)
He had been married and wasn't domesticated at all!
Ansley
1  (1%)
He had been married and was sort of domesticated.
froggiemoma , Red Vinyl Kitty , Rossie , Destri , js250 , melianofvalinor9 , EJ
7  (6%)
He has been married and was totally domesticated.
A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
1  (1%)
Total votes: 115
Poll is closed
06/03/2011
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Contributor: indiglo indiglo
He had been in long term relationships previously, but it had been a while. He was a total crusty bachelor when I met him, but had clear memories of what being domesticated was like. lol
06/03/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
When I met my boy, he was living the total bachelor lifestyle. I did his laundry, cleaned up after him, cooked for him . . . and even made him buy necessary toiletries to keep around. I even did his grocery shopping, because when he went, he'd buy nothing but cheese, pepperoni, and frozen food.

I enjoy doing all of these things, though, because I was raised in the traditional, old-school, southern mind-set that a woman should take care of her man and tend to the household. I've got a bit of a 50's housewife fetish. I think it's cute because it makes me feel really retro feminine.
06/03/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
My guy has been in a 6-year relationship, but no marriage. He's always doing laundry, mowing the lawn, cooking, walking the dog, and helping his mom and sister with their housework. It makes me feel kind of bad, considering I don't have such a living space to take care of. I can't wait to get an apartment and talk about doing all that housework, too. ¬_¬
06/03/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by MaryExy
My guy has been in a 6-year relationship, but no marriage. He's always doing laundry, mowing the lawn, cooking, walking the dog, and helping his mom and sister with their housework. It makes me feel kind of bad, considering I don't have ... more
Offer to do some of his! I'm sure he'd appreciate the help.
06/03/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
Offer to do some of his! I'm sure he'd appreciate the help.
Unfortunately, we're too long distance for me to help out regularly. I've already said that once I can move there (or at least close enough for weekend visits) I'll start going all housewifey on him. And if he ever says he lost a button or broke a zipper, I'll suggest that he ship the stuff over for me to fix.
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
So the deal with my fiance is, I met him in high school. He's mostly the same way now as he was back then. I have to remind him to moisturize his face or else he flakes and peels after shaving. He cleans up after others, but is terrible about keeping his laundry in the basket. He just moved into my apartment with me since we will be married in July. We lived together once before but it was too cluttered.

He will do the dishes, sweep, mop etc. without complaining. I absolutely love this. We do equal amount of chores and whatnot.

He actually knows how to fix anything. A broken lawn mower, a busted zipper, a leaky faucet, etc. He wont let a single thing go un-fixed.

My honey is good about most of his appearance. He dresses nicely, smells amazing, and never goes without at least once shower a day. Usually takes two. He is in the air force so his hair is a constant crew or nearly bald cut. Never wears socks that don't match, and he even shines his shoes.

He's the best lol
06/03/2011
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
When we met, he was a sophomore in college. 'Nough said.

Now he's pretty good about helping with cleaning when I ask and he takes his turn cooking.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Maeby Maeby
We also met in college...I think that makes a big difference, lol. We now split the chores (i.e., if I cook, you wash dishes; I'll clean the bathroom if you do the laundry, etc.)

I do most of the cooking, mostly because I enjoy it but also because I know he won't get quite as many vegetables if I don't...If we weren't married, I think he'd live on pizza and sandwiches.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
So the deal with my fiance is, I met him in high school. He's mostly the same way now as he was back then. I have to remind him to moisturize his face or else he flakes and peels after shaving. He cleans up after others, but is terrible about ... more
So jealous! Military men are usually awesome househusbands!
06/03/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
When I met my man he was somewhat domesticated, but has gotten better and better over the years.

He's not working right now so he's taken on a lot of the household chores. I come home from work and he's got dinner ready, he makes me breakfast every morning, does the dishes and laundry every few days, cleans the bathroom - the whole ten yards. He's like my little house wife and it's kind of awesome.

I'm almost dreading him going back to work, it means I'll have to pick up my share again! haha

My man is amazing though and I don't know what i'd do without him <3
06/03/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
He was 35 when we met and the military taught him well how to be domestic. It's only since we've moved in together that he's lost some of those skills (though he did the laundry and folded it last weekend so I shouldn't complain!)
06/03/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
How 'domesticated' was he?

When I say 'domesticated', I mean he cleans up after himself, keeps a decent living space, takes care of himself, does his laundry/dishes, knows how to cook . . . etc.
My Man was never married before. He could, however cook and kind of clean and even do laundry. Heaven knows, he can't work the washing machine now, but he used to be able to.

He does the "Man Stuff" like fix stuff and mow the lawn etc. I did try mowing the lawn once or twice. We live on an acre of land, so a weed whacker, a push mower and a riding mower are required. All he did was complain about what I missed, so I quit mowing forever! If he's so damn better at it, he can do it. Plus, it's a Man Job, in my world. And, I'm allergic to cut grass. I'd rather do 100 loads of laundry than mow the lawn. Yuck.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
The way my husband's parents brought him up, he was raised to be able to do all sorts of household chores. He could cook and clean and take out the garbage and fix tons of stuff around the house and mow the lawn and shovel the driveway, and frequently would do all of the above. However just because he can doesn't mean he likes to and it took us a while to get into a groove where we were each doing stuff instead of letting it pile up.
06/03/2011
Contributor: AOutrajus AOutrajus
we're married now and he still isn't lol
06/03/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
When we met we were 13 and obvi mommy did a lot for him but surprisingly he could cook and for the most part cleaned up after himself after a while lol. Today he cooks more and cleans more it just takes still takes him awhile
06/03/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
When I met my man, even though we both lived in the dorms he grew up doing a lot around the house and taking care of his sister. The only thing he's completely useless at is cleaning his own dishes - I ended up doing it most of the time he lived in his apartment!
06/03/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
He had been married previously and was in another long-term relationship when we met. However, the only domesticated things he did was cook dinner every night. The women in the relationship did the laundry and the cleaning and all of the shopping.

In our relationship, I do the cooking, cleaning and laundering of clothes. He picks up dinner on the way home, sometimes it's take-out but most of the time it's something I can throw together easily.

He works, I don't. I have a very old-fashioned view point of gender roles in MY relationship (I don't care what anyone else does or how they split their chores).
06/03/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
The thing he's worst about is his clothes. He leaves them in piles, he leaves crunchy socks in the living room, draped over the couch & chairs, can't seem to hit the hampers (after 20 years I've given up on a "dark" hamper and a "light" hamper. He never got the difference and I was tired of sorting clothes anyway.)

I realized the reason why. When I met him, he was living with his parents and paying them rent. I was sitting in his room once (I was waiting for him for some reason) and his mother came into the room and starting putting his clothes away! He was a grown man. I was flabbergasted, as I had been doing my own laundry since I was 10 or so. I asked his mother in a joking way why, and she said, "He can't do it right and he messes up my system. So it's easier to just do his laundry." OMG. I am sure she wasn't too happy about this teenage girl questioning her "system."

When he got his apartment and I remember a couple of "pink loads" of wash, because he didn't know to separate clothes by color. Also, when we got our own house, I actually physically stopped him from just pouring bleach over a full load of mixed clothes! I screamed and grabbed his hand. He said, "That's what my mom did." I know for a fact his mother never poured bleach over a full load of mixed color clothes. Sheesh.

So, I do the laundry.

He can cook, but he wants to serve food IN the pans he cooks it in. It was bred to NEVER put a pot on the table. That's why we invented serving dishes. (His family also uses their eating forks to grab food out of the pot on the table. BLEH, just BLEH. I always used serving silver.) We have had decades together and he still wants to put pots on the table, even on Christmas! And his mother still grabs food out of the serving dishes with her fork....that was...in her.....mouth....... Shudder...
06/03/2011
Contributor: ichigostrawberry ichigostrawberry
Not married, and he would help with things more often but he is kind of... bad at all those kinda things, haha. I guess he is learning, but it's just quicker and more efficient to do it myself. Granted, he is very organized and neat though, more so than I am. Just not good with dishes and such.
06/03/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
When I met my boy, he was living the total bachelor lifestyle. I did his laundry, cleaned up after him, cooked for him . . . and even made him buy necessary toiletries to keep around. I even did his grocery shopping, because when he went, he'd ... more
You talk about the 50's housewife fetish, that hot. You don't see much of that anymore. I see a decent amount of it because I live in a city that has a lot of oil money. The man goes to work and brings in the millions, and the wife wears a dress all day and does the shopping and other chores, and drives her huge SUV. I love the fact that my wife is a hard working professional, but if she did the 50's housewife thing it would be awsome.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by CPTInsanity
You talk about the 50's housewife fetish, that hot. You don't see much of that anymore. I see a decent amount of it because I live in a city that has a lot of oil money. The man goes to work and brings in the millions, and the wife wears a ... more
I think you can still work and be a professional and still keep with the lifestyle. The man may be the breadwinner, but the woman can be head of the household.
06/04/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
my guy can't cook like i can, but he's a lot cleaner than i am. he's way better about cleaning up after himself than i am.
06/08/2011
Contributor: DTV88 DTV88
haha
06/09/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
We met in high school, so he hadn't been married, and he was pretty wild
06/09/2011
Contributor: Kdlips Kdlips
my man dose nothing for himself
06/09/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
When we met he was 22 and lived in a fraternity house, so...
06/09/2011
Contributor: That Man from Mars That Man from Mars
This thread really annoys me. It's very sexist.
06/10/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by That Man from Mars
This thread really annoys me. It's very sexist.
I apologize for offending you.

On a side note, have you ever seen how men and women are portrayed in commercials, or in family-related sitcoms? That always annoyed me. It portrays women as being preoccupied with nothing but the latest low-fat yogurts, cleaning products and other stereotypical things. Men are portrayed as being wild, and completely clueless when it comes to anything household related. When you look at cleaning or cooking commercials, how many men do they have mopping the floor, or cooking dinner for the family? How many women do you see enjoying a non-low-calorie beer?

This thread goes to show that most women are still the caretakers of their households and husbands, even though society has changed and the old-fashioned way of life doesn't make much sense when women are working just as much as men are.

When you look at the results of the survey, you see that we're starting to break that mold. Only 18% of men, so far, are your stereotypical bachelors.
06/10/2011
Contributor: Fuck it. Fuck it.
Mine's neater and more organized than me.

This thread has reminded me that I should probably tidy up before he gets home.
06/10/2011