The New Intimacy

If your SO went skinny-dipping with another person of the opposite sex, would you be ok with it?

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Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by Vaginas
this would honestly piss me the fuck off. especially because he didn't bother to tell you. I mean maybe he was drunk enough not to remember but come on. I would be upset defiantly. unless I'm in the group too or something, it wouldn't be okay. idk
He claims he "wasn't that drunk".
09/12/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
He claims he "wasn't that drunk".
I've just kind of been hanging back on this thread, even though I've been reading all of the answers.

It was a moment of indiscretion, but I don' tthink it would be something I would let ruin my relationship. If that's the worst thing he did that night, then we're good. You know?

Ultimately, your relationship and the emotions and nature of the relationship between the two of you is the only thing that should be factored in at this point.

I do want to add one thing here that I don't recall anyone else addressing...you said he didn't tell you. But, did you ever consider why he didn't tell you? Maybe he was afraid of your reaction and he just didn't want the argument? If that's the case, there's probably some other stuff he hasn't told you and it might be time to do a "relationship check up" and ask if your communications styles are working for each other and if they aren't, then come to an agreement on how to resolve that.
09/12/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I've just kind of been hanging back on this thread, even though I've been reading all of the answers.

It was a moment of indiscretion, but I don' tthink it would be something I would let ruin my relationship. If that's the ... more
When I asked why he hadn't told me, he said "I wanted to tell you in person." I'd been home (with him) for 2 hours.

Usually we're really open and up-front with each other, to a point that would make many people uncomfortable. I think he was just putting it off, not expecting me to hear about it from someone else first.
09/12/2012
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
In my experience, skinny dipping usually leads to sex. That may not always be the case, but consider this: most skinny dipping probably occurs in one's teens/early 20's. People that age are usually rather horny. If somebody is suggesting a skinny dip, it's probably a pretense to move things in a particular direction. Skinny dipping usually takes place on camping trips to the lake or late night outings to the beach. At the aforementioned age such outings typically (though not always) include alcohol and/or drugs. Alcohol and/or drugs have a tendency to lower inhibitions. End result being lots of people having sex.

Not to alarm you, (k)InkyIvy, but somebody probably had sex that night. Or at the very least had their penis sucked. Hopefully it wasn't your guy, but you may want to have a more direct conversation with him about what happened that night.
09/12/2012
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
I would be pissed about the situation.
09/12/2012
Contributor: Billie Bones Billie Bones
I don't equate nudity with sex so I wouldn't care and my partners know that. They also know that I am naked frequently and don't feel its necessary to tell them every time I take my clothes off around other people. That being said, if your parter knew it would be upsetting to you and didn't tell you for that reason I can see why you're angry.
09/12/2012
Contributor: panthercat23 panthercat23
I wouldn't be happy but it wouldn't be the end of the world. I know my SO wouldn't do anything other than look since I wasn't there. He knows if he wants to play with someone else I need to be present.
09/12/2012
Contributor: glasskitten glasskitten
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
When I asked why he hadn't told me, he said "I wanted to tell you in person." I'd been home (with him) for 2 hours.

Usually we're really open and up-front with each other, to a point that would make many people ... more
I think you are right... which would mean he is lying. *sigh* I'm sorry this is happening to you.

One question though, why did the girl feel the need to tell you? How did you even come to know that the moon was full, thus showing everyone's bits (I presume)? I'm wondering what would possess her to volunteer this information.
09/12/2012
Contributor: SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
I wouldn't be pissed, but I would bring it up to him and let him know your concerns.
09/12/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Other. It depends. Although I recently kind of found myself in this situation.
09/12/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by glasskitten
I think you are right... which would mean he is lying. *sigh* I'm sorry this is happening to you.

One question though, why did the girl feel the need to tell you? How did you even come to know that the moon was full, thus showing ... more
She's actually a friend of mine from college, which is how she met (and started dating) the men of the group. She and I have always had a very "no bullshit" relationship, being completely straight-forward and honest with each other.
When I confronted my partner about it, he said "it was dark, we couldn't see anything", but I knew (from being awake and working all night) that the moon had been fullest over the weekend. I even checked the cycles to be sure.
I think the reason she shared the information was because she's used to my partner and I sharing everything, so she probably assumed that I already knew.
09/13/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
When I asked why he hadn't told me, he said "I wanted to tell you in person." I'd been home (with him) for 2 hours.

Usually we're really open and up-front with each other, to a point that would make many people ... more
That's good. And in my experience, blurting something like that out right away usually feels like a suckerpunch instead of a natural part of the conversation.
09/13/2012
Contributor: Apirka Apirka
I'd be extremely pissed! Not only didn't he tell you, but the situation could easily have gotten "out of hand" and things happen that shouldn't have. I would never skinny dip with other (single or otherwise) men, drunk or sober, and I would expect my SO not to do anything of the sort as well.
09/13/2012
Contributor: debo debo
I would be really upset, what else has he done that he's not telling you about? That is a big NO NO in a relationship.
09/13/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I'd say he clearly knew he overstepped his bounds seeing as he opted not to tell you. That says more about the situation than anything. Had my husband done this and then told me about it, I'd assume he didn't know any better. I'd ... more
Exactly.
09/13/2012
Contributor: Tork48309 Tork48309
In my opinion..That is just wrong in so many ways, I'd be really upset. This happened to me also, it didn't go well after that as my ex had an affair with the man and then called our marraige quits. Please take this seriously if the thinks that this is NO big deal as it should be.
09/14/2012
Contributor: Rory Rory
Naked with another woman could cause him to lose his penis!
09/14/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd be pissed, mostly because they didn't bother to tell me or check. Nudity with others is a bit much
09/14/2012
Contributor: MK434 MK434
He would end up being my exhusband.
09/15/2012
Contributor: pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
i think secrecy is worse than doing than something like that tbh, unless they came out and admitted id be pretty furious. I can forgive mistakes, but its harder to forgive when i start to feel paranoid
09/16/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
A few weeks ago, I was working a long shift (48 hours) away from home. Usually on weekends, my partner and I hang out with friends, so I wasn't surprised when he said a few friends were coming over.
I jokingly told him not to do anything ... more
I would be pissed
09/30/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
A lot of people have said that it's not so bad, because there were two other men there too... But my view is that they would NEVER have considered skinny-dipping if the female hadn't been present. If it was just the 3 of them (the guys) I wouldn't have cared, but I know they would've found it to be too "gay" to have gone skinny-dipping with only males present...
10/09/2012
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I would never be ok with that, I mean in what situation would that be ok? I mean if you want to be naked around someone else or have someone else be naked around you then be single in my opinion
01/29/2013
Contributor: happywaffle34 happywaffle34
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
A few weeks ago, I was working a long shift (48 hours) away from home. Usually on weekends, my partner and I hang out with friends, so I wasn't surprised when he said a few friends were coming over.
I jokingly told him not to do anything ... more
i was in a similar situation. when i found out it felt like my heart dropped. your partner should always be open with you. and your partner should be mature enough to respect your relationship and to never go that far.
01/29/2013
Contributor: CountryPrincess CountryPrincess
I would be so ridiculously pissed!!!!!! The only real lying issue we had was when he went to the bar with one of his friends and lied to me about how much he drank and that caused a HUGE argument so ya that one wouldve been bad!!
01/29/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
Like others have said, I wouldn't necessarily be upset about the skinny dipping since it was a group thing, but the fact that he felt it was important to omit it means he KNOWS for one - that you'd be upset, and for two that he felt it was something he should hide.
01/30/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
I guess I'd be upset. But when I tell him I'm upset my boyfriend pays attention and tries to make adjustments.
05/18/2013
Contributor: rosythorn rosythorn
He should have told you!!! I wouldn't be so bad that he did it if he had just told you!!
05/19/2013
Contributor: butts butts
I'd be surprised if he didn't tell me, I'd be even MORE shocked if he got naked haha, he's too shy! I wouldn't care at all though, probably would think it was kinda cute. I'm not a jealous person though, in fact I get a bit if a boner from other people hitting on my boy It's like showing off to me haha!

Knowing my partner, he might not tell me for a few days out of embarrassment, but even if I found out through someone else I'd just laugh.
05/20/2013
Contributor: Aishiteru Aishiteru
I don't think I would mind too much.
05/20/2013