I wish I'd waited. All the baggage that comes with broken relationships would've been avoided and we would have been able to explore together.
How many people believe sex is BEST saved for marriage?
08/16/2011
I feel like having sex with different people has opened me up to new things with each person and has made my current ( and hopefully last ) partner and i's sexual relationship excellent.
08/16/2011
Sex is something that can express soo many emotions you can't say in words
08/17/2011
Quote:
It kinda sucks when it's the girl trying to trick the guy into sleeping with her. Just sayin' that's my experience right now. Hehe. I think it's necessary before marriage cause it is a large part of it. Chemistry and sexual compatibility keeps you close.. Intimacy is key along with communication. Can't get more intimate than sex!
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Leaving reality alone, how many people feel that leaving sex for marriage/civil union is the ideal?
08/17/2011
I think its up to the person. I do wish I waited though
08/17/2011
Quote:
You cant have a good sex life, if your emotionally frustrated either.. They go together. You have to TRUELY love someone for your sex life to be AMAZING, and stress and other emotional issues can cause your sex life to not be great. Just saying, You marry the person you LOVE, and can see yourself living with, and spending the rest of your life with. Someone that would be the person you want to be the father/mother of your kids. If you dont have that kind of love and connection with the person you're with, you will never be happy no matter how great the sex is because your missing the very reason we even have sexual desires.
Originally posted by
Beck
I believe having good sex is part of having a good connection. Can not be truly happy if you are sexually frustrated.
08/27/2011
I have never even considered waiting till marriage to have sex and I wouldn't suggest it. Sex is a vital part of a good relationship, and I wouldn't get married until I explored every aspect of our relationship, which includes sex.
08/27/2011
Quote:
This is exactly how I feel. It's not like the sex can't be improved if thats the issue, but if you don't have sexual chemistry, you need to know that before you get married. Being bad in bed if fixable, but not having the sexual chemistry is a serious problem that most likely is a deal breaker.
Originally posted by
-BillD
I have never even considered waiting till marriage to have sex and I wouldn't suggest it. Sex is a vital part of a good relationship, and I wouldn't get married until I explored every aspect of our relationship, which includes sex.
08/27/2011
Me and my boyfriend were planning on waiting, but it didn't happen. Now we have crazy animal sex all the time. And I do plan on marrying him. :]
09/08/2011
Quote:
It's cute, It's nice and it's a very old concept. However, do you buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first? What if you got married to someone and discovered you were totally sexually incompatible? It is certainly not a reason to get divorced - but it will lead to years of frustration that could easily be avoided. Also I think it probably greatly increases the chances that someone will cheat. If you want to wait - wait till your serious - and then go. Just my thoughts. XOX CreamySweet
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Leaving reality alone, how many people feel that leaving sex for marriage/civil union is the ideal?
09/08/2011
If I knew then what I knew now, I would have saved myself for my husband. Best lover and mate all around.
09/11/2011
Sex between two people isn't obviously going to be good at first...it takes a lot of time to get to know what makes some one else feel good. Usually if you're waiting for marriage, you're already saying that you want to learn to make only that person feel good. Your marriage will become that time to learn. I don't have any problem with people who want to wait.
I don't think you should have sex if you don't love that person - but if you do, by all means, go for it. It's all good to me.
I don't think you should have sex if you don't love that person - but if you do, by all means, go for it. It's all good to me.
09/13/2011
We personally believe that sex is better if saved for marriage, but we don't look down on anyone with a different opinion. Some people have brought up the common point that you wouldn't know if your sexual attitude/interests would be compatible if you didn't have sex, but I disagree. My wife and I spoke explicitly about our attitudes toward sex, and what we expected its role to be in our relationship. We had a blatantly honest communication with each other in this area, and we knew what we were getting into before we said "I do." Jumping in bed was not necessary for us to know whether or not we would be sexually compatible.
In my opinion, sexual compatibility hinges on mindset, not skill level in sexual activities. It's a hell of a lot easier to teach someone to improve a certain sexual skill than it is to make them change their approach to sex altogether.
In my opinion, sexual compatibility hinges on mindset, not skill level in sexual activities. It's a hell of a lot easier to teach someone to improve a certain sexual skill than it is to make them change their approach to sex altogether.
09/13/2011
I don't think it matters either way to me, I would probably be fine without sex at all, and I would have stayed with my partner good sex or not, but the fact that we are remarkably compatible is a bonus.
09/13/2011
Quote:
I was raised Catholic, so you know what I was raised to believe. But you have to try the shoe on to see if it fits before you buy it!
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Leaving reality alone, how many people feel that leaving sex for marriage/civil union is the ideal?
09/29/2011
Quote:
I have a question, and I am genuinely curious, I'm not dissing your choice. If neither of you had experienced sex how could you possible know what would work for you and for her?
Originally posted by
Illumin8
We personally believe that sex is better if saved for marriage, but we don't look down on anyone with a different opinion. Some people have brought up the common point that you wouldn't know if your sexual attitude/interests would be
...
more
We personally believe that sex is better if saved for marriage, but we don't look down on anyone with a different opinion. Some people have brought up the common point that you wouldn't know if your sexual attitude/interests would be compatible if you didn't have sex, but I disagree. My wife and I spoke explicitly about our attitudes toward sex, and what we expected its role to be in our relationship. We had a blatantly honest communication with each other in this area, and we knew what we were getting into before we said "I do." Jumping in bed was not necessary for us to know whether or not we would be sexually compatible.
In my opinion, sexual compatibility hinges on mindset, not skill level in sexual activities. It's a hell of a lot easier to teach someone to improve a certain sexual skill than it is to make them change their approach to sex altogether. less
In my opinion, sexual compatibility hinges on mindset, not skill level in sexual activities. It's a hell of a lot easier to teach someone to improve a certain sexual skill than it is to make them change their approach to sex altogether. less
My Man was my first, but we had sex long before we got married. He had experience, I had not. We also had a Open Relationship after a few months, because I was so young when we got together (I was 16) that I needed to sow some wild oats and know for SURE that he was the best in the world for me. Not just in sex, but in everything. I didn't want to wake up one day in my 30s and think, "OMG, what did I miss?" I now know what other men are like, he has known other women, and when we started having sex, we learned that we were compatible. I did have sex with some men that I was not sexually compatible with, BUT, if I had not had sex with My Man first, I never would have known what I needed.
I would have been one hella frustrated girl, but I would not have known why.
So, I think my question is, how do "attitudes toward sex" translate into actual acts which one participates in that makes one compatible with one's partner? Actions and desire to please, but also technique is important in sex. How would either of you know, for example, if your partner was good at oral sex if neither of you were experiencing it, with each other or anyone else? It isn't something that you can describe through talking.
I'm wondering how you KNEW the sex was going to be compatible without experiencing it? I had NO idea what I liked until I started participating.
09/29/2011
Quote:
Sex between two people isn't obviously going to be good at first. I have to kindly disagree. Sex with My Man was fantastic from the first time. I had to learn how to have an orgasm, working both with him and on my own (I was young when I met him and had no sexual experience) but the first time we had sex, I was amazed at how much I liked it and how well he worked to please me.
Originally posted by
Angewin
Sex between two people isn't obviously going to be good at first...it takes a lot of time to get to know what makes some one else feel good. Usually if you're waiting for marriage, you're already saying that you want to learn to make only
...
more
Sex between two people isn't obviously going to be good at first...it takes a lot of time to get to know what makes some one else feel good. Usually if you're waiting for marriage, you're already saying that you want to learn to make only that person feel good. Your marriage will become that time to learn. I don't have any problem with people who want to wait.
I don't think you should have sex if you don't love that person - but if you do, by all means, go for it. It's all good to me. less
I don't think you should have sex if you don't love that person - but if you do, by all means, go for it. It's all good to me. less
I think it takes more than wanting to make that person "feel good." There are intricacies of sex that you aren't going to know until you are involved in the experience with that particular person. I've been with men that I knew from the first time would never ever be able to be compatible with. How would I have known without the experience? What if I had married one of them?
I guess I subscribe strongly to the "test drive and practice" theory.
09/29/2011
Those who don't wait until marriage can image what it would be like if they had, but it's not the same. Most people will say yes or no depending upon what they actually did themselves. You can rationalize your answer either way. From my perspective, it's a choice of respect and commitment - hallmarks of enduring love. If you've been married for more than a couple years, you know there's a difference between passionate love and enduring love. Of course, we'd all like to have both in our marriages. If you can respect each other's commitment to wait through your engagement, you just might be able to stay with each other for the rest of your lives...
09/29/2011
Quote:
I agree with you totally 100%. I dont I could have said better any other way!
Originally posted by
southern woman
Like I said before.. You're not always going to have great sex all the time.. You have to communicate with each other on what you like and dont like. Its you're desision on wether you have sex first or not.. but Im saying, you dont marry
...
more
Like I said before.. You're not always going to have great sex all the time.. You have to communicate with each other on what you like and dont like. Its you're desision on wether you have sex first or not.. but Im saying, you dont marry someone BECAUSE of sex. Your sex life changes as your body changes. You have to work on it, and communicate, just like you do in your marriage.. You dont marry someone for the sex and then work on falling inlove with them. You marry someone because you love them, and then work on the sex. not the other way around... as I said before.. my husband and I didn't wait like we wanted to.. but we didn't wait because we were already madly inlove and couldn't keep our hands off each other.. not because we wanted to test each other out first.. he had already asked me to marry him and we already knew we were meant for each other. We have a wonderful sex life. but there are times we have to work at it together, just like our marriage. You have to be willing to make it work for both of you if you want you're marriage to last.
less
10/01/2011
Quote:
Can I just that I applaud you for saying that
Originally posted by
southern woman
And I agree with you.. waiting til marriage to have sex does not guarentee a good marriage.. We didn't. God is the only guarentee to a great marriage.. Seek him first and He will help you work out anything that comes along. He cares about the
...
more
And I agree with you.. waiting til marriage to have sex does not guarentee a good marriage.. We didn't. God is the only guarentee to a great marriage.. Seek him first and He will help you work out anything that comes along. He cares about the little things as well as the big things.. and its important to him that a marriage lasts because of the commitment that is made to each other and to him when 2 are joined together.
less
10/01/2011
Yeah i say have sex before you get married. If you don"t like it with that person or they are not into what your into then you are with that person you love but have nothing for sex. Like test driving a car always test it out and see how it goes.
10/26/2011
it doesn´t really matter you have to be safe with that ,, if the person you got married with don´t make you happy you can always get divorce and find somebody else ,,, but i am not marry and i am having sex with my partner ,, i do recommend that you have it with your current partner ,,, but whatever people choice to do, needs to be respect by everyone ,, so if you choose that good luck ,, i respect you
10/26/2011
Quote:
I feel the same. I would never marry someone without first having sex
Originally posted by
Waterfall
I personally would not be able to marry someone that I hadn't had sex with. I think it is important to know how sexually compatible you are with a person.
10/29/2011
I wasn't a virgin when I got married, but my hubby and I didn't have sex together after we got engaged b/c I thought it would be better to wait until our honeymoon and make it special. Anyway, times have changed and I think it would've been a better idea to have lots of sex so we'd know if there was anything there.
10/29/2011
Quote:
Sex is necessary before marriage.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
Leaving reality alone, how many people feel that leaving sex for marriage/civil union is the ideal?
10/30/2011
I don't think it matters.
I mean, It's really important that you lose your virginity when you're ready, and for some people that might be until they are married or are going to be married.
I'd rather be with someone intimately before marriage rather than afterward, simply because that way we know if we are comfortable, and work well together.
Marriage to me is a one time thing - I want to be sure about it in all aspects.
I mean, It's really important that you lose your virginity when you're ready, and for some people that might be until they are married or are going to be married.
I'd rather be with someone intimately before marriage rather than afterward, simply because that way we know if we are comfortable, and work well together.
Marriage to me is a one time thing - I want to be sure about it in all aspects.
09/28/2012
sex is necessary before marriage to find out if you are meant to be
10/01/2012
Would you buy a car you never drove? If so I have a great automobile for you.
I always scoff at the self absorbed jerks who preach abstinence. Being someone who fell victim to it and it's follies. Unfortunatly I didn't have the wisdom on the matter I do now. How can someone tell me about the good and bad about sex and the moral/imoral issues, when they themselves have never had sex?
I always scoff at the self absorbed jerks who preach abstinence. Being someone who fell victim to it and it's follies. Unfortunatly I didn't have the wisdom on the matter I do now. How can someone tell me about the good and bad about sex and the moral/imoral issues, when they themselves have never had sex?
10/01/2012
Sexuality is an important part of my identity and a way I express my vulnerability. If I don't have a partner who's compatible there, the marriage wouldn't work for me. I think sex before marriage is important to help determine fit. Have just known to many people who didn't, then realized that their partner will never meet their sexual needs...affairs and emotional distancing then occurred..
10/07/2012
Quote:
Agreed
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. I don't declare someone my "best friend" until I know them well and know that we are "compatible for shopping" . I certainly wouldn't marry someone or enter into a Civil Union
...
more
I wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. I don't declare someone my "best friend" until I know them well and know that we are "compatible for shopping" . I certainly wouldn't marry someone or enter into a Civil Union until I knew we were sexually compatible.
IMO, sexual compatibility is essential to any partner relationship.
Sex takes up a huge amount of how you relate to each other, it relieves tension, it helps solve problems and it is a way to enjoy yourself and an other person. I wouldn't ever get into a relationship until I KNEW that person and I were on the same wavelength sexually.
Of course, you can "learn." But, I don't know if you can change drastically your libido, and you certainly can't change your preference. What if you realize you like slow and gentle sex ALL the time and you marry someone who you find out after the wedding is into rough stuff, spankings, etc? What if you enjoy and/or need sex toys in order to make sex satisfying and you find out after the wedding your partner "doesn't believe in them?" It wouldn't work and both of you would be miserable.
What if one of the couple has a low libido, want sex only once a week or less, and the other wants it every day. Both people are going to be resentful. it is no different than one person who spends money like crazy marrying someone who is a miser. It doesn't work.
Both my husband and I feel that love AND sex are the basis of our relationship. We both have high sex drives and were happy we found each other. The times we had the most strife was when the sex wasn't good (say, when we had a small baby, and I had a low libido, or when I was on Depo Provera and had NO libido. I get resentful when he occasionally puts off sex, (which I found was due to an ED scare, which we resolved) but it was a terrible two weeks. I don't believe "love conquers all" if that were true, nobody would break up. There is a lot more to a relationship than just "love." And basic compatibility in important areas are necessary for the health of a relationship.
I think making sure one is completely compatible as possible before making a commitment. less
IMO, sexual compatibility is essential to any partner relationship.
Sex takes up a huge amount of how you relate to each other, it relieves tension, it helps solve problems and it is a way to enjoy yourself and an other person. I wouldn't ever get into a relationship until I KNEW that person and I were on the same wavelength sexually.
Of course, you can "learn." But, I don't know if you can change drastically your libido, and you certainly can't change your preference. What if you realize you like slow and gentle sex ALL the time and you marry someone who you find out after the wedding is into rough stuff, spankings, etc? What if you enjoy and/or need sex toys in order to make sex satisfying and you find out after the wedding your partner "doesn't believe in them?" It wouldn't work and both of you would be miserable.
What if one of the couple has a low libido, want sex only once a week or less, and the other wants it every day. Both people are going to be resentful. it is no different than one person who spends money like crazy marrying someone who is a miser. It doesn't work.
Both my husband and I feel that love AND sex are the basis of our relationship. We both have high sex drives and were happy we found each other. The times we had the most strife was when the sex wasn't good (say, when we had a small baby, and I had a low libido, or when I was on Depo Provera and had NO libido. I get resentful when he occasionally puts off sex, (which I found was due to an ED scare, which we resolved) but it was a terrible two weeks. I don't believe "love conquers all" if that were true, nobody would break up. There is a lot more to a relationship than just "love." And basic compatibility in important areas are necessary for the health of a relationship.
I think making sure one is completely compatible as possible before making a commitment. less
10/07/2012