We're just going through this ourselves when I made the same confession to my SO and had to reinforce it by repeating it twice. The first time I simply said my eyes had been wandering to other men the second time I said flat out I was thinking of having an affair. While I never had I could not seem to find a way to get my SO to take me seriously whenever I attempted to communicate with him.

I had been feeling alone and isolated after many years of marriage, holding hands even never happened when walking outside in public and at home we're usually 2-3 rooms apart. I no longer felt wanted, needed or desired. Besides intimacy which is now becoming too infrequent, it was the only time we ever touched. Finally getting up the courage I expressed myself in clearer more descriptive terms.

We're more in contact with each other as a result but it is still a work in progress and sometimes a battle often tiring me wondering if it is truly worth it. Still after many years of trust I know he is a good and kind man, we just fell into a rut each doing our own thing, the responsibility of this happening on my shoulders as well allowing it to happen for so long.

You say initially you have a great relationship between the two of you, how great is it if she's thinking of having an affair? After confessing honestly to you, you say you feel broken and I can imagine my SO feeling the same way but if he doesn't express himself to me how am I to know? In my case, my needs weren't being met, as a touchy feely individual I just felt no connection or bond with my husband other than the piece of paper that says we're married for over a quarter of a century.

I'm sorry for the hurt you feel as I think my husband feels but unless he talks to me plainly about it how can I express my reasons why? By the way, I'm still waiting for more discussion but am not confident he will ever initiate it and believe instead he feels everything is just perfect now between us. Believe me its far from it.

Thanks for the follow-ups, it gives me hope that our home situation will improve as well. less