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Long distance relationships. Do they work?

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Contributor: authorzero authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, they work
34  (33%)
No, almost never
14  (14%)
The infamous other
54  (53%)
Total votes: 102
Poll is closed
11/18/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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11/18/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
The answer is in the question. It really does depend on the individuals in the situation, how many roadblocks they choose to throw into the mix amongst the already standing hurdles and how hard they want to try to overcome them.

I personally don't think they work, but that's just been my experience and I've met very few people who survived extended periods of separation like that. One of the key things in a relationship is physical touch and being able to read each other's body language during important discussions and that kind of thing. It's hard to communicate fully through messaging or cam sessions. I think people are in a different place when they turn on their cameras and start chatting...prepared isn't the right word, nor is staged but it's just a different kind of focus than being blindsided by everyday life in a realtime manner. Does that make sense?
11/18/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Maturity plays the biggest role in it - is one a drama person? Is one expecting the other to read their mind about how the relationship is going? Is one expecting more communication than the other? Are questions asked when something written/etc doesn't seem clear? Do both know that patience is necessary? Has the Truth been given freely and honestly? Is there a goal of eventually having lots of time to spend together (one staying for several weeks to a month/ moving to the same town eventually/ lots of visits to each other/ etc)?

Don't EVER think that planning a marriage while still long-distance is a good idea, not unless you know each other so well (and have been telling the truth about everything) that it would seem natural.

Just be honest with each other, be extremely open with communication, and get to know each other even better when in person.
11/18/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I agree with the other responses, but for me personally, they don't work. I tried it, and it wasn't something that worked for me. For others though, it could work just fine.
11/19/2011
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
It really depends on the people involved, their need for physical connection and how effectively they communicate with each other. My partner and I did long distance at a few points in our relationship for no more than a few months at a time and it was definitely a strain at times. Which is not too say that it can't be done at all, but it just makes things more difficult.
11/19/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
Completely depends on the people.
11/19/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
It worked for me, and a few other people.
But it doesn't work for everyone. It just depends on who the people are.
I voted yes though, because they CAN work.
11/19/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
any relationship works if you both work at it and always strive to make it better.
11/19/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I think it really depends on the people involved. They can definitely work, and of course they can fail.
11/19/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The answer is in the question. It really does depend on the individuals in the situation, how many roadblocks they choose to throw into the mix amongst the already standing hurdles and how hard they want to try to overcome them.

I personally ... more
Agreed!
11/22/2011
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
It all depends on the people involved.
11/23/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
They can.
11/26/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
Yes, then can work, and they can lead to wonderful relationships after the distance is overcome. But they are difficult and if you can't give the amount of work and energy needed, then you really have to be honest with yourself for both parties' sake. I'm not quite sure I could handle the stress and separation, personally.
11/26/2011
Contributor: Ms. N Ms. N
It can, but it is a difficult thing to balance.
11/28/2011
Contributor: sexydelphia sexydelphia
it really depends on how both of you feel about it, how you handle the distance, among many other factors.
11/28/2011
Contributor: MrKite MrKite
Quote:
Originally posted by authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
I'm in a 5 year committed relationship and 3 of those years we were separated by 3000 miles and only saw each other 2-4 times a year. Totally worth the distance though. I know she's the one.
11/30/2011
Contributor: klyte klyte
I'm in a long distance relationship. I think its a lot easier for us though because we're completely and totally in love. We met online, and then we met in person and it was all history. When we met online, I was even dating someone fairly local at the time and I wanted to be with my current SO more. I just kind of knew she was it for me, in the end. She's actually coming to visit me in 23 days! ( yay! ) I think that its much easier to maintain a long distance relationship now than it was 10 years ago. Instead of just phone there's texting, picture texts, (sexting not to mention glorious phone sex ;p) Skype .. You can play online games together, watch movies together.. read books together. If there is a ton of love and communication, its completely valid to say that LDRs work.
11/30/2011
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
I've been in two long distance relationships, and they've failed..They were both great for quite a long time, but after it got more serious it became difficult to manage. I know it's completely me, and I just would never do it again. It's not my thing. I thought I would be able to handle it, but no. I've had friends with successful long distance relationships, so it CAN work. Just depends on the people
12/02/2011
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
They can work, but it really depends on the individuals involved, just like with any other relationship. How many relationships fail even when the people involved live very close by each other? Tons.
12/08/2011
Contributor: PrettyPurple PrettyPurple
Just as what everyone said, it depends on the people involved. I am in one now and it is working out. It is very difficult and hard. In my opinion if two people love each other and want a future together it is possible. Both parties must trust each other and have future plans to end the distance in some way.
12/10/2011
Contributor: RememberMe RememberMe
Quote:
Originally posted by authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
Sometimes.
11/06/2012
Contributor: RememberMe RememberMe
Quote:
Originally posted by PrettyPurple
Just as what everyone said, it depends on the people involved. I am in one now and it is working out. It is very difficult and hard. In my opinion if two people love each other and want a future together it is possible. Both parties must trust each ... more
I hope you guys stay together.
11/06/2012
Contributor: ThomasAurelius ThomasAurelius
I am in a long distance relationship at the moment and although it has its bad parts, I wouldn't change it for the world.
11/06/2012
Contributor: The Majikat The Majikat
It depends on the individuals. It's been working for me, but its not something I would ever choose.
11/10/2012
Contributor: Mrs.Tee Mrs.Tee
Quote:
Originally posted by authorzero
I'm in one right now. It's been kind of a messed up situation, but I care about her and want to make it work.

Obviously it depends greatly on the situation. Just curious how others feel.
obviously this would depend on the 2 people that are in the relationship, there feelings and how they feel for one another.
11/10/2012
Contributor: collegecouple collegecouple
Three months after we met I went to Italy for a semester. It was a lot of work, a lot of time and effort. As long as it's only temporarily long term then I believe they can work!
11/10/2012
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
It depends on your situation, and what both halves of the couple need to feel loved. If you can handle being apart with your relationship sustained only by words (and video chat, whatever) you can make it - if you NEED someone there with you it won't work out.
11/10/2012
Contributor: Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
Mine's been working but we've only been together about a month and we only live a few hours away from each other. I drive down to see him when I get time off and he comes to see me when he has time off. It's really about how much effort you want to put into it.
12/07/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I can but only with difficulty.
12/07/2012