The New Intimacy

How do you and your SO decide who to see on what Holidays?

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Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
My partner has a huge family reunion for the christmas holidays on the eve of christmas. They have to rent a community centre to make sure the family fits. So we usually always go to his family parter and the day after we visit my very broken family.

We tend to avoid my family, so much drama. It's hard for my partner to see my family bcs they are quite immature and my partner recently made me discover about him how he can hardly tolerate people who are different, although he hasn't discovered this for himself yet. Its a very weird type of intolerance.
12/19/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
We try to do holidays with each other's families, though sometimes that is difficult. I would have preferred to get to spend some of Christmas Eve or Christmas with his family, but since I work Christmas day, that isn't happening.
12/19/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
This is intriguing me, because it's so hard at first. I remember when My Man and I first started living together, both families wanted to see us every holiday. His parents refused to host any holidays, and then there were family splits (none of ... more
For us its fairly simple...Sigel's father pretends than he doesn't have a son or grandchildren, my parents treated my kids so bad they would rather go without gifts than go over there and Arch's family live in Canada. We will be spending time with them next year over the holidays though.
12/22/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
For us its fairly simple...Sigel's father pretends than he doesn't have a son or grandchildren, my parents treated my kids so bad they would rather go without gifts than go over there and Arch's family live in Canada. We will be spending ... more
That sucks, Airen. Family can be so hard. Nobody should treat innocent children badly. I don't get when people take things out on children. My FIL used to do this. I thought it was bullshit then (and I avoided him as much as possible) and I think it's bullshit now. My kids didn't want to visit him when he was dying. I took my little one, and he started dissing me and her (she's a shy child and he was sick and looked sick and she was frickin' scared and he went on an on about it) so she never went back. They didn't cry at his funeral or when he died or afterward either. That's what people like that get. They cried when my step father died, and they knew him less time than their own grandfather, but he was KIND to them. My father is kind and nice to children and they love him. He's nuts, I mean, certifiably crazy, but he isn't mean. My FIL was a mean old bastard, and honestly, the kids never even cared that much when he died. People sometimes don't realize they reap what they sow.

Hugs. You are a kind, loving Mommy and Sigel and Arch are kind, loving Daddies and your children must know and feel that. Sometimes, that all you need.

Have a Blessed Yule, honey.
12/22/2010
Contributor: The Awesome Penguin The Awesome Penguin
I wish I could spend the holidays with my girl We are still finishing up our college days and, hopefully, soon we will be able to spend more holidays together
12/25/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
That sucks, Airen. Family can be so hard. Nobody should treat innocent children badly. I don't get when people take things out on children. My FIL used to do this. I thought it was bullshit then (and I avoided him as much as possible) and I ... more
My Sister is trying to remain neutral but I can tell she is being pressured to 'bring us home'. It's so sad but when I explained to her that my parents treated my girls EXACTLY the same way they treated her and I she just kind of stopped, got really thoughtful and said that I had to do what I was doing to protect the girls. Autumn and Digel are nothing like my sister an I either in temperament or life experience and to have them hammered into the same old alcohol induced rigid cubby hole was simply abusive. Neither of them have an alcoholic father to protect. Sigel and I watched them begin to change in horrible ways and I began to see the lost, pained look in their eyes that I had...you know the one that is the same as the look on children who live in war zones? Ya that one. It finally gave me the courage to walk away for their sakes.
My son is the outlier here, there was never a boy in the mix growing up and I don't want them to come up with new creative ways to decide who he is and how he should react! He is my sweet little man and he'll decide all those things for himself.

So for now we celebrate Yule and Christmas in our own way...heck we even have two Thanksgivings! Canadian Thanksgiving is in Oct, then we go ahead and celebrate in Nov. as well. Lots of great food and really good company!
12/25/2010
Contributor: guard083 guard083
Like for Christmas on CHristmas Eve he goes to my grandparents and does Christmas with that half of my family. Christmas morning he is at his house and I'm at mine and when I get done at my house he comes and gets me and exchanges presents with my family. That evening we go to his parents and exchange and eat with them. It works out since our families only live like 30 minutes away from each other
01/12/2011
Contributor: Koko Koko
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
This is intriguing me, because it's so hard at first. I remember when My Man and I first started living together, both families wanted to see us every holiday. His parents refused to host any holidays, and then there were family splits (none of ... more
Easy... my family doesn't celebrate any Holidays so we see his.
01/12/2011
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
We try to see each other's family right around the holiday time. We're usually pretty good at balancing.
01/13/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
This is about to become an issue with my parents moving to the Pacific Northwest in a few months. My in-laws moved here a few years ago, so every holiday has been with them. The in-laws will likely want my parents to come over for holidays, but that won't work since my mother-in-law drives my mom nuts (she drives my wife nuts too). All I know so far is that it will be Xmas Eve with my family (our family's tradition) and Xmas Day with my in-laws (their tradition). As for the other holidays, it will be interesting to see how it all turns out.
01/13/2011
Contributor: Morganna Morganna
My boyfriend isn't from a HUGE holiday-type family, so usually we spend it with mine but we try to go see his different times throughout the year.
01/13/2011
Contributor: Carolinagirl08 Carolinagirl08
We try to see everyone on the holidays. We see my parents on christmas eve & christmas morning, we see his dads side of the family at lunch christmas day & we see his moms side of the family on chistmas night.
04/04/2011
Contributor: LivingandLoving LivingandLoving
My side of the family is very flexible, and usually schedules our holiday get-togethers on a day OTHER than the actual holiday. They are also very understanding if we (or one of my seven siblings and their families) can't make it. We all live within an hour drive, though, so we see each other more often than just holidays.
Just this past Christmas, though, my boyfriend of 8 months and I did four family holidays in 3 days. We were EXHAUSTED at the end of it, and I've been thinking that I don't want to do that again. I'd like to have most of Christmas Day with just us, so we can build our own traditions. We don't live together, but we're very serious, and thinking about marriage, so eventually we're planning on having our own family stuff to do.
05/10/2011
Contributor: sexygoddess sexygoddess
We just moved in together.. so we havent had that topic come up.. yet
05/11/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
My husband is not permitted to leave his post (work) during holidays (we only get every fifth Christmas off). So we're usually by ourselves. However, on our off year, we take a nice relaxing vacation to a city for the holidays.

However, if given a choice, we would go see my family only.
09/28/2011