Would you get upset if he had 20 hockey sticks? Why would you care what he collects with what is presumably his own money? To me, and I don't know you or your boyfriend, it sounds like he is jealous of either the toys or the amount of money you invest in them. If it's the toys then he needs to do a reality check...he is more than a match for any vibrator or dildo. If it's the money then you need to have a real conversation about boundaries...unless you are spending HIS money on the toys.
You have the right to decide when enough is enough it's simply not his business. Controlling behavior hurts your relationship and points to a crack that won't go away.
You need to have a conversation with him, he may not realize how badly what he says is hurting you. That may not be his intention...but if it is then you really need to reassess if it's worth investing more time in to a relationship with someone who can't allow you to decide for yourself how many toys is enough. What's next? He gets to decide how many shirts you own? How many shoes? Books? What?
Were it me I would have told him flat out that if he wants 20 hockey sticks or 200 as long as he can store them properly it's not my business how many he gets!
I presume you aren't beggaring yourself for these toys...so tell him to mind his own business! less

Would you get upset if he had 20 hockey sticks? Why would you care what he collects with what is presumably his own money? To me, and I don't know you or your boyfriend, it sounds like he is jealous of either the toys or the amount of money you invest in them. If it's the toys then he needs to do a reality check...he is more than a match for any vibrator or dildo. If it's the money then you need to have a real conversation about boundaries...unless you are spending HIS money on the toys.
You have the right to decide when enough is enough it's simply not his business. Controlling behavior hurts your relationship and points to a crack that won't go away.
You need to have a conversation with him, he may not realize how badly what he says is hurting you. That may not be his intention...but if it is then you really need to reassess if it's worth investing more time in to a relationship with someone who can't allow you to decide for yourself how many toys is enough. What's next? He gets to decide how many shirts you own? How many shoes? Books? What?
Were it me I would have told him flat out that if he wants 20 hockey sticks or 200 as long as he can store them properly it's not my business how many he gets!
I presume you aren't beggaring yourself for these toys...so tell him to mind his own business! less

Neither do I, I avoid all realistic or semi-realistic toys. I'm afraid he'll feel inadequate if I do. Maybe one day I'll be able to try something realistic but for now I'm happy sticking to the non-realistic things. I don't try toys that are girthier than him either. less

Would you get upset if he had 20 hockey sticks? Why would you care what he collects with what is presumably his own money? To me, and I don't know you or your boyfriend, it sounds like he is jealous of either the toys or the amount of money you invest in them. If it's the toys then he needs to do a reality check...he is more than a match for any vibrator or dildo. If it's the money then you need to have a real conversation about boundaries...unless you are spending HIS money on the toys.
You have the right to decide when enough is enough it's simply not his business. Controlling behavior hurts your relationship and points to a crack that won't go away.
You need to have a conversation with him, he may not realize how badly what he says is hurting you. That may not be his intention...but if it is then you really need to reassess if it's worth investing more time in to a relationship with someone who can't allow you to decide for yourself how many toys is enough. What's next? He gets to decide how many shirts you own? How many shoes? Books? What?
Were it me I would have told him flat out that if he wants 20 hockey sticks or 200 as long as he can store them properly it's not my business how many he gets!
I presume you aren't beggaring yourself for these toys...so tell him to mind his own business! less

Initially my b/f was very negative about my toys, he thought he was inadequate and honestly resented my toys. I used them alone (vibes) and stayed away from realistic dils. Many guys are threatened by toys. He did eventuality come around but in a way I never anticipated....toys make his work easier!! He said a prolonged oral session was going to give him "lock jaw", toys to the rescue! Is he totally into toys? No!, he feels I have too many (I don't) as I am always sorting them out.
He buys some now, not many, but a toy for a specific purpose. He recently bought the Hitachi for BDSM play.

Following others above, why not hockey sticks if he wants them? No two sticks are exactly the same...feel, wood, angle..

I do believe an honest conversation about control issues and money is in order.

Relationships are not easy and all need work and attention. Right now we don't live together full time. May be dumb and expensive but we are getting there...again not easy.

Good luck Hun...... less

I would have the conversation you mentioned with him- better to deal with it now than let the problem get worse! Does he react the same way if you buy new clothes, makeup, etc, or is it just limited to toys? My gut reaction was that it sounds like he's intimidated by them somehow. less

Liz2 is right - the toys can make a man's life much easier. But honestly that's predicated on his approach. If he just wants to 'get off' and get on with his life - the toys will just slow him down and remind him that you're not satisfied.

However - if making you feel good - makes him feel good, the toys are a big help.

After we use our toys my wife goes out of her way to make sure she does something special for me. At first it was the usual BJ or intercourse - now I have some toys of my own that we incorporate!

When I have a strongly vibrating plug in and she rides cowgirl - your talking some serious benefits for both! Likewise if she has the plug in during intercourse - that's even better!

This stuff doesn't happen over night - we've been at it for about 10 of our 21+ years.

I hope your guy figures out that sex is mutual benefit and will come around. less

He does sometimes propose that I use toys during intercourse. I rarely initiate it, I wait for him to propose the use of a toy. He does enjoy that I get pleasure from the toy but he knows that I need him more than the toys and that they could never replace him.

I don't need my toys to orgasm during sex but when I have had trouble I have taken out a vibe to make it over the hill but we rarely use toys during intercourse. From time to time he enjoys watching me use my toys to demonstrate squirting extravagansas. I think in the end he doesn't mind the toys as they bring me to orgasm but if it were up to him I would have two toys and I should be happy with only the two.

Our sex life is VERY vanilla. I have talked to him about doing some light BDSM scenes and a bit of spanking. He's just so traditional, plain BJ and PIV sex with different positions. I am happy with our sex life in the sense that we both get a lot of pleasure from what we do but I wish he was more open and would push the boundry a little more. I'm not bored with our sex life, I just need more variety and different types of pleasure. less

Sounds to me like he's getting use to the toys. You're both quite young and if the rest of the relationship is solid, things will improve over time. I've spent most of 21 years trying to get my reluctant spouse to try new things - and slowly she has obliged. Grudgingly at times - but she continues to grow and that's enough for me. Sounds like your on the right track - focus on the positives and enjoy opening him up - like your flower! less

It sounds to me like this is more about money issues than toy issues. I do think you need to have a very long, thorough talk with him about this. I know how it is when you don't want to fight, so you pretty much avoid the conversation. But money issues and control issues are HUGE! More marriages (relationships) have broken up over these than anything else. And avoiding them will not save your relationship. There may very well come a point where you're so fed up that you blow up and have a fight, when you could avoid that by having a calm conversation now about it. It may take more than one talk too. You two should to work out these differences calmly now. It will be worth it. less

Neither do I, I avoid all realistic or semi-realistic toys. I'm afraid he'll feel inadequate if I do. Maybe one day I'll be able to try something realistic but for now I'm happy sticking to the non-realistic things. I don't try toys that are girthier than him either. less

I am pretty selective when it comes to toys. I try to choose toys that are different in texture, style, vibration, material, use, performance, etc. I try to avoid getting two or 3 or 4 of the same thing because ultimately I won't be using them all.

I routinely go through the collection to clear out the clutter of things I don't use/that doesn't work for me, give things away or recycle them. So my toy box, although filled with variety, is never actually completely full.

Everytime I get a new toy/product to review, my guy makes me feel very guilty. He asks when I'll ever have enough. He says that I would get upset with him if he had 20 hockey sticks. I feel like he doesn't understand how certain products are better than others and you just have to try things to find out. So everytime I get a new toy I have to muster up my courage to let him know. His reaction kills me every time. I don't hide things from him but the way he makes me feel sort of makes me want to stop telling him when new things come in (I have never not told him about any new toys).

He is hard on me about my toys and isn't very at ease about using them either but he won't stop me from using my toys alone or object using toys during sex.

What do you guys think? Has this happenned in your relationship? How would you deal with this? It's not an issue about him not liking my toys, it's an issue about him thinking and feeling that I have enough and should be satisfied. less

Initially my b/f was very negative about my toys, he thought he was inadequate and honestly resented my toys. I used them alone (vibes) and stayed away from realistic dils. Many guys are threatened by toys. He did eventuality come around but in a way I never anticipated....toys make his work easier!! He said a prolonged oral session was going to give him "lock jaw", toys to the rescue! Is he totally into toys? No!, he feels I have too many (I don't) as I am always sorting them out.
He buys some now, not many, but a toy for a specific purpose. He recently bought the Hitachi for BDSM play.

Following others above, why not hockey sticks if he wants them? No two sticks are exactly the same...feel, wood, angle..

I do believe an honest conversation about control issues and money is in order.

Relationships are not easy and all need work and attention. Right now we don't live together full time. May be dumb and expensive but we are getting there...again not easy.

Good luck Hun...... less

Sweetie you have to understand that a relationship/marriage isn't about his views being the only important ones. It's about compromise and delighting in your partner's quirks. He has a problem with the way you spend money...but it's YOUR money to spend. It's your money even if you aren't being responsible with it! It's not his business to comment or complain, though that never stops us does it?
If it's a major problem now time isn't going to change it, actively making a boundary and enforcing it will. When he makes his comments look him right in the eye and tell him, "I've heard your words and I will think on them before I comment." Then walk away, there's no sense talking while he is feeling like he has the upper hand and you are on the defensive. If he follows you continue to say the EXACT same thing until he gets bored and gets the point. Refuse to be drawn in to the same old argument.
When you feel you are utterly calm and collected, tell him that you appreciate his concern for your well being but you will continue to spend your money according to YOUR beliefs and desires. Then be firm about it. You are the one who will face any consequence of your own wrongful spending. Being ascetic and denying yourself pretty new things doesn't make you a better person...it makes you a miserable person to be around.
I have had to put that into practice in my own home so I know it isn't easy but it WILL work. If he isn't looking to abuse you with his controlling behavior he will come around and realize you aren't going to leave him penniless, if he is totally abusive at least you know it now 6 years in rather than after you've said "I do" and have kids. less