The New Intimacy

Have you ever withheld sex as punishment or to get your way?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Talking to my older sister recently and she told me that she had been withholding sex from my brother in law for weeks now, because she wanted to punish him for going out and getting drunk. I've never done this and it seems like a stupid thing to ... more
Seems silly, but if you are angry with your significant other, you don't want to "put out", so that could be considered "withholding sex" as a punishment. At some point I cannot believe that does not happen in every long term relationship. No one goes to bed and has a long night of sex with someone they are angry with...do they?
06/27/2011
Contributor: Smitty Smitty
not only do I think that is stupid and manipulative, but it would never work for me to try to withhold sex because I would probably crumble way before he would. sex is a great thing and I wouldn't want to screw it up by using it in such a negative way.
06/27/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
No I wouldnt do this
07/08/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Instead of withholding sex as punishment, BDSM is way better for punishment
12/16/2011
Contributor: woodsdragon woodsdragon
I've done it as punishment because it was part of our game we play.
12/16/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I would never do this so immature and self punishment regardless of toys.
12/16/2011
Contributor: CrystaCat CrystaCat
Quote:
Originally posted by Happy Camper
I suppose I should have put Other because while I have not done this I know I would do this with specific things done. I don't think I'd do it because they got drunk or wouldn't take me out to dinner. But I would definitely do this if I ... more
I like sex too much. Make him take out the garbage or something!
12/27/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
I would never do that. If I am not in the mood, I'm not going to have sex, but I would not do it as a punishment.
12/27/2011
Contributor: shcoo shcoo
I tried doing this once, but realized he did not care about it and I was the one punishing myself for nothing.
12/28/2011
Contributor: xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Talking to my older sister recently and she told me that she had been withholding sex from my brother in law for weeks now, because she wanted to punish him for going out and getting drunk. I've never done this and it seems like a stupid thing to ... more
I've done this. It's stupid. It didnt get me what I wanted or teach the lesson I was going for, all it did was get me cheated on. Hence "Stupid Idea"
04/27/2012
Contributor: dragonn dragonn
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Talking to my older sister recently and she told me that she had been withholding sex from my brother in law for weeks now, because she wanted to punish him for going out and getting drunk. I've never done this and it seems like a stupid thing to ... more
Never done. Sounds like a negative association I'd want to avoid in a relationship.
04/28/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
I haven't done this before. But if we have gotten into an argument, I'm just not in the mood.
04/28/2012
Contributor: Undead Undead
Im a guy and no, I'd rather have make up sex lol!
04/28/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. I live to please my husband and hate to let him down or disappoint him. So even when I don't feel like it, I push myself to have sex. Maybe that isn't the right thing to do, but I always feel guilty if I just say "sorry honey, I'm too tired/not in the mood/whatever." He NEVER makes me feel guilty, it comes from me alone.

Short answer: I'm too honest to play games like that. If I'm unhappy about something, I'm more likely to try and discuss it; sometimes if he's not receptive that can lead to fighting; but damn if I'm going to keep my mouth shut and deprive us both of sex which can make things BETTER in the long run. Whew. Off my soap box now. lol
04/28/2012
Contributor: Lady Bear Lady Bear
I have never done this. I would feel so guilty doing something like that. Plus I would hate it if my boyfriend did something like that to me.
04/29/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I did it, but that was because it was going to be in exchange for her finishing her work, I'd spoil her. Since she didn't, I didn't
05/02/2012
Contributor: SouthernBelle SouthernBelle
I've never withheld sex for any reason like that. We enjoy it too much, and when we are irritated, its a great way to calm down.
05/05/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
After some thought, it seems to feed into the stereotype that women hardly have libidos and only have sex for the man's benefit due to his insatiably high drive.

Wouldn't have worked on my ex-husband - he had the libido of a dead fish.
05/05/2012
Contributor: lovekink lovekink
That doesn't sound right to do. And it doesn't fix the problem. He already went out and got drunk so withholding sex doesn't really give her what she wants anyways which was for him not to go out and get drunk.
05/05/2012
Contributor: All His All His
if sex doesnt happen after a disagreement or whatever its not because its being withheld its because we aren't in the mood. Just cuz I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have a sexual appetite so why would I punish myself like that? Its just dumb
05/05/2012
Contributor: All His All His
Quote:
Originally posted by WHITEMIKE
I believe all women do this to a certain extent. men need sex in order to have a relationship, women need a relationship in order to have sex. (Roughly speaking)
So when women are not comfortable in their relationship, they will not be ... more
This isnt completely true. I am a woman and yes I want to be comfortable in a relationship but I also NEED the sex I have with my husband for the marraige to stay strong. When he isn't feeling well and not really in the mood for more than a night I start to get agitated about it. If anything my sex drive is stronger than his is and we BOTH need the sex not just one or the other
05/05/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I am incapable of with holding sex.
09/19/2012
Contributor: AliMc AliMc
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
Talking to my older sister recently and she told me that she had been withholding sex from my brother in law for weeks now, because she wanted to punish him for going out and getting drunk. I've never done this and it seems like a stupid thing to ... more
Sex shouldn't be used as a weapon, it should be an expression of love.
09/19/2012
Contributor: plaidvulva plaidvulva
Yes, there is withholding sex as punishment in my relationship (usually to me). It's not a 'real' punishment, it's a thing to go along with the humiliation/slave play we tend to do, though. So, I don't think it's the same as the OP, considering that subconsciously I want to be deprived of sex because I'm a bad girl and it's what I deserve.....lol.
09/19/2012
Contributor: SavingMyself SavingMyself
I am a female and I think this is stupid and counterproductive.
09/19/2012
Contributor: SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
Never have, never would. It would be punishment for both partners involved.
09/19/2012