The New Intimacy

Happily unmarried or unhappily married?

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Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
My question is where do you draw the line? Is polygamy acceptable - if not why not?
Here is the line Gunsmoke. When marriage is NOT between two consenting adults, people who are old enough to vote, live on their own, support themselves, and take care of themselves THAT is when you draw the line. If they are younger than that, and truly in love, they can wait.


I think people get married, because at some point, it becomes the only thing left that they can do to make I LOVE YOU bigger than it is, because it is just not big enough any more. It's the easiest way to impress upon a person, your level of commitment; an "I will work as hard as I can, will love you as hard as I can, will still love and care about you even when I want to slam your head in the fridge door, and cannot ever imagine a situation, that would make me change my mind."

Why would anybody want to take that decision away from somebody who is capable of truthfully making that statement, with the full awareness of the commitment involved in marriage? I do not mean idealistic awareness... I mean a reality based understanding of what marriage involves. I believe if you have that, there is no god who would deny you the privilege of telling the world and making it official.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Here is the line Gunsmoke. When marriage is NOT between two consenting adults, people who are old enough to vote, live on their own, support themselves, and take care of themselves THAT is when you draw the line. If they are younger than that, and ... more
Then we agree - if a man or woman wants to marry 2, 3, 4 or more (of any sex) - as long as they are consenting adults it's OK - right!?
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I am only engaged right now, but something I have learned both from my parents, fiance's parents, and the rest of my family is that "staying with it" is sometimes better. Sometimes the bad things that seem ubearable now will pass later on down the line. Why risk leaving the one you love just because you are currently not getting along. It's just like that big fight with a best friend. You may not talk for a while, but you always end up making up.

My parents used to fight almost every hour on the hour when I was younger, all throughout elementary, middle school and high school. Now that all us kids are grown up for the most part, the fighting has subsided and they are a lot happier. They went back to church, did some couple's counseling (more like retreats) and they are as in love as they were the day they got married.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
My aunt and "uncle" have been together for 18 years and they're not married. They don't even live together full-time. I think it just depends on what works for you and your situation. I know I would rather be happily unmarried if I thought getting married would cause problems.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Shadowed Shadowed
It seems like the little piece of paper does cause a lot of problems, but I would risk it. If we're meant to be together, we'll get through the hardships. I'm not worried.
08/29/2012
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
If I had to decide between one or the other, than it makes perfect sense. Why would I be married if it means we're unhappy. Isn't happy the point?

But we were one of those couples that experienced almost zero change between unwed and wed. We just added a cool anniversary.
08/29/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by ss143
Have you ever known a couple that were together HAPPILY for years and then decide what the hell lets make it official? Then 6 months or a year later they hate each other and are getting a divorce.

My family/friends have this debate all the ... more
I'd rather be happily unmarried. I have no interest in getting married
08/29/2012
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
My SO and I are not married, and planning on never doing so! I have a lot of reasons for not wanting to get married...but the biggest one is that I have never felt a want or need to do it. We are completely committed, and besides, I don't want to have a wedding. You know how some girls dream of their wedding when they are young? I must have been born without that gene....

Of course I support anyone who wants to get married, they are fun to attend, and if it means a lot to the couple...go for it!
08/31/2012
Contributor: Rory Rory
I may not be the best one to ask about this Married 34 years together 40!
09/02/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Happily Unmarried. I've seen far too many people get divorced after being together for years, but only married for one or two.
10/07/2012
Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
I was with my wife for 10 years before we got married. It's been seven years since then and Often I think it was the worst mystake I ever made and wish I broke up with her instead of marry her.
10/08/2012
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
I've never been married and gave up on the idea til I met my current GF. We are very happy and talk about it, but its only been 11mos and I want to marry her when the time is right.
10/08/2012
Contributor: Sirena Sirena
We have been happily unmarried for almost 12 years, but we are still risking it this year. We have often joked about it, but I really want to be his in every way.
10/08/2012
Contributor: Augustxsins Augustxsins
I chose other. I'm happily unmarried, with plans to change that to happily married November of next year. We've been together 4 years, lived together for 2.5 of those years. We've had a few ups and downs, and worked through them. I believe that being married won't have a negative effect on our relationship.
10/08/2012