The New Intimacy

Do you believe that two people can love each other forever ?

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Contributor: KrissyRoro KrissyRoro
Well, I'm really not sure why I am starting this discussion. I personally think, yes.

But, do YOU believe that two people can honestly love each other for the rest of their lives ? People can change a lot even within a couple years. Do you really think that even after all the life changes, that somebody can still love somebody even though they are a different from the person the fell in love with to begin with ?
01/27/2011
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I think that as long as these people are growing and changing together, then yes. All of life is a learning experience, and if you can experience it and grow with the person you love, it can make that love even stronger.
01/27/2011
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
If you are committed to the relationship and have good open communication, yes. In 21 years, the wife and I have changed so much, but we still love each other deeply. I do not know what I would do without her.
01/27/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I agree with both of the above posts. It takes work, but as long as both people are committed to making sure they change together and both are willing to put in the necessary work - YES! Most definitely 2 people can love each other forever. It isn't magic, but it can happen.
01/27/2011
Contributor: newlady newlady
Oh yes! We have been married for 25 years (together for almost 28) and we are both still madly in love. We have both changed in many ways but that's just increased how much we care for each other. We've survived raising 3 girls through the teen years....
01/27/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Depends on what you consider love to be. If it's the emotio-chemical infatuation type of feelings then probably not, but if both people are committed to loving each other and are willing to "will" themselves to love the other in their actions, words and (as much as possible), thoughts then yes.
01/27/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
It's an interesting question coming from such a young person. I failed with my first marriage that happened at 22. 13 years later I married the love of my life.

Between marriages I had given up on the whole life partner idea - it seems I was doomed to an endless series of 2-year periods of serial monogamy.

About the time I stopped looking - along came my dream - and yes, I have no doubt that I will love her for the rest of my life.
01/27/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I haven't lived forever yet, so I truly don't know.
01/27/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
People do change, and relationships do change. That, I think, is why many marriages fail, as most couples don't understand this (I sure didn't think about it before I got married). It is those couples who change together, or at least make the effort to understand each other's changes, that have a chance to love each other for a lifetime. My wife and I have changed quite a bit in our 14 years of marriage, but we've worked hard to ensure that we talk about the changes going on in our lives and help each other understand what it all means. It would have been easy for us to drift apart, but we didn't take each other for granted and wanted to make certain that not only did our love for each other remain through the changes, but grow through the years.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Airekah Airekah
I would like to believe so.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Vaccinium
People do change, and relationships do change. That, I think, is why many marriages fail, as most couples don't understand this (I sure didn't think about it before I got married). It is those couples who change together, or at least make ... more
Now your danc'n in my head - well stated.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Absolutely. And not only that, but if things are right then you wind up loving them even more than you did when you first started.
01/28/2011
Contributor: hive83 hive83
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyRoro
Well, I'm really not sure why I am starting this discussion. I personally think, yes.

But, do YOU believe that two people can honestly love each other for the rest of their lives ? People can change a lot even within a couple years. Do you ... more
I don't know how long foever will be, but it's been 40 years married and 44 years together. people change all the time it'S part of life. Some grow togerther some apart.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
I think that it is hard, but it is possible. I think that if you accept that you aren't going to stay the same person 100%, and neither are they, it may help. The more a relationship is founded on actual compatability, rather than something fleeting (we both like llamas!) or purely physical, the better the chance for success.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
Oops, forgot to mention- I think you need to accept that the nature of the relationship is going to change over the years. Things aren't going to be the same 50 years in as they were as newlyweds. Not that they will be better or worse, just different.
01/28/2011
Contributor: XxFallenAngelxX XxFallenAngelxX
I see some older couples are so in love and they will be in there 80's.....it is possible..
01/28/2011
Contributor: KrissyRoro KrissyRoro
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
It's an interesting question coming from such a young person. I failed with my first marriage that happened at 22. 13 years later I married the love of my life.

Between marriages I had given up on the whole life partner idea - it seems I ... more
Yes, I am young, but have came from a family of multiple marriages and divorces. It sometimes makes me doubt that it is possible. But I have been with my husband sense I was 17 and he was 19, and couldn't imagine not loving him forever. I am now 21, and he is 23, and within that short time we have both changed a lot, and still love each other more then before. It's just hard not to question "forever love" from how much we both changed in only 4 years and from seeing my families past and after watching my father leave my mom when I was 12 for another women after they had been together sense, well, the same ages as my husband and I were... and the same thing happened to my grandma. To be honest, it scares me. I don't want to follow their footsteps, I hope to break the cycle.
01/30/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyRoro
Yes, I am young, but have came from a family of multiple marriages and divorces. It sometimes makes me doubt that it is possible. But I have been with my husband sense I was 17 and he was 19, and couldn't imagine not loving him forever. I am now ... more
All the best of luck for you and your husband
01/31/2011
Contributor: Pandahb Pandahb
I'm not sure if I believe in true love, but I do believe that a couple could love each other their entire lives if they work on it and make themselves believe that they can do it.
01/31/2011
Contributor: Checkmate Checkmate
My wife and I went together for almost seven years (high school sweethearts), and have been married for 41 years. That is not forever, but if the next 48 years go as well as the past 48, our love will continue to grow at an alarming rate.
02/07/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I've heard the key is never to fall out of love at the same time. I think it's give and take for sure but I think it's possible.
02/07/2011
Contributor: Mr. E Mr. E
20 plus years and I love my wife more than ever!
02/07/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyRoro
Well, I'm really not sure why I am starting this discussion. I personally think, yes.

But, do YOU believe that two people can honestly love each other for the rest of their lives ? People can change a lot even within a couple years. Do you ... more
yes of course they can
02/07/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Yes I do!

My husband and I have changed drastically over the past 18 years. The important part of change is communication. By effectively communicating our desires, dreams and challenges to one other we have been able to successfully grow together. It is not always easy to do. Sometimes with growth comes resistance; but through compassion, we can be understanding and allow our partner the room to grow within the relationship and in turn stretching and growing ourselves. When your partner is witness to this, trust builds and helps bind the two of you further.
02/07/2011
Contributor: That Guy That Guy
I absolutely think it's possible and even likely, but I don't know that negative emotions won't get tied up in it as well. In my experience, once you love someone, you pretty much always will, even if you later learn to hate them as well.
02/07/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Of course I think it's possible. Every one changes at some point in their lives. If it's true love, the person they are with will love them no matter what those changes may be. I know I will love my husband forever. Even if for some reason in the future we divorce, which I hope will be never, I know I'll always love him. He holds a special place in my heart. Always has and always will.
02/07/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by KrissyRoro
Well, I'm really not sure why I am starting this discussion. I personally think, yes.

But, do YOU believe that two people can honestly love each other for the rest of their lives ? People can change a lot even within a couple years. Do you ... more
I hope that the day I die I prove that this is entirely possible. I can't imagine anything ever causing me to not love my guys...even death. As corny as it sounds we all believe we have loved in previous lives and look forward to loving in the lives to come.

Ok I am blushing now....how fluffy bunny do I sound?
02/07/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I hope that the day I die I prove that this is entirely possible. I can't imagine anything ever causing me to not love my guys...even death. As corny as it sounds we all believe we have loved in previous lives and look forward to loving in the ... more
Not corny at all! My husband and I say one lifetime will never be enough for us. That saying is even plastered above our bed!
02/07/2011
Contributor: EJ EJ
There are so many factors involved; sometimes I really think it's just a crap shoot, more than anything else. I guess my answer leans most closely to ScottA's. It depends on your idea of love. If it's the chemical infatuation of the early days, then no, you probably don't have a chance. But if you realize that (for most people) those feelings/chemicals eventually fade, and your idea of love is instead based on mutual respect, basic kindness and a willingness to let one another grow and change, even if it's not in exactly the same way, then you might have a chance. It does help if you have more than just physical attraction in common though. Common views and ways of going about life in general seem to make things a little easier.
08/22/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
My head has been filled with a personal monogamy vs. non-monogamy debate due to some personal happenings at the moment.

I've been wondering this as well because non-monogamy literature presents "the one", "soulmates", and "person of your dreams" as a myth. I think their viewpoint is stupid. Hmph.

But really, I can't really speak on this. I'd like to make it to at least one year first. Haha!
08/22/2011