Thank you all so much - At my age and where I am in life I don't have a ton of real life friends (a few great ones, but they have their own lives, ya know?), and I never understood how people considered this online community such a family and a support system until now.

I love you all!

And as an update, I can't hate him. He's not a douche. He's actually an awesome guy. He made a decision based on his kids and while it might not even be permanent (though will most likely be), I can't blame him or say I'd do differently if I were him. It would probably be easier if I could hate him, but I can't. I understand what he's doing and I know he's terrified and while I want to make it better, I know what he needs from me is to walk away for now. less

You know, you have a great head on your shoulders! It is tough. Its annoying to constantly think about everything you guys did together, like attached to the hip. My bf of two years, we are like freakin attached to the hip (at work, home, bed) and now in May hes moving to New York for better work opportunities. Hes going out there on a limb, hoping it will work and who knows for how long. It eats me inside. But like you said, he is an awesome guy. And if it were my career, he would want me to succeed and do what I want as well. Remember as people, we want to live a satisfied life and do everything we can for a happy life. His kids need him at the moment more (not that you dont either) but once that situation is over, remember you guys can still talk and you never know in the future you get back together and the puzzle pieces may fit more comfortably then. I understand, I feel how you do! Hes my best friend! I see this as an opportunity to "do-his-duties" and feel set in his life, then who knows ..

Stay occupied, stay smart and you are wonderfuL! less

Thank you all so much, again.

Now here's my other question. I know I'll be able to find someone (down the road of course - I am in NO rush) that I have similar interests to. Even someone that I'll be able to develop that strong emotional understanding and compatibility with. But how do I find someone with such strong sexual compatibility? I'm not particularly vanilla - actually very far from it - but I can't advertise that as the first thing about me. Any hints on where to find the sexually adventurous crowd? Tattoos, an interest in classic cars, and an appreciate for a woman who can cook would also be priorities. How do you go about finding someone like that? I've always stumbled into relationships and this one was the first one I more or less accidentally fell into after my marriage so I haven't 'dated' since I was 20. less

You say that you cant just come out and say all that to the guy when you meet him or on the first date --- But you can! you really can. I always have. I let them know- hey, this is what I like, and what Im into. Either you can hang, or you cant, but lets not waste each others time if you cant. - Its really that simple. Some people just cant fathom how much sex someone can really like. some people dont understand that tattoo is art, and is beautiful. Some people cannot understand for the life of them how to be open with their sex. You know what you like and what you want - and you need to tell the people that.


Good luck, hun. I know its hard when the one you think is the one walks away... mine came back 6mos later. Thank god. Idk where I would be right now without him. I know not everyone is lucky. But maybe one day he will. And if he does - you will know at that moment if its right or not. Maybe this is a change that you need.

You can do it. Now grab a some ice cream, cheese cake, and watch Golden Girls LOL less

I guess I COULD be that open...I mean, if he or she runs, they weren't the right type anyway, right? And if they stay, chances are they're up for it.

People keep telling me he'll come back when he gets his head on straight and figures out what he did but I can't wait around for him. So instead I'm going shopping tonite, going to a piercer to see about some new metal, and boiling all of 'his' tantus dildos and reclaiming them as my own! LOL less

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But seeing as it's due to a mental crisis on TOP OF a family crisis on his part, I can't blame him. When I broke it down, I lost him and I have friends, family, coping skills, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and the experience of having started my life over behind me. He's lost me, has some serious fears about his kids, has health issues because of the stress, had a small breakdown, has no one he can really turn to, no skills to cope with this, and no idea how to recover.

It hurts to know someone I love is in such an awful position even more than living without him sucks. But I'm getting through, one day at a time, and doing my best to have faith that if he is meant to be with me, he'll be back when he's ready. Until then, I'll get by. And if he's not meant to be with me and stays gone, it just means that there's someone better just waiting for me.

For those of you that believe in prayer (to anyone/anything - it's not so much the deity I'm concerned with as the push of positive energy) as my therapist, my family members, and I do, PLEASE pray for HIM. He has no real support system of his own (besides me) and needs mental clarity, strength, courage, and honesty!

Thank you again so much for all that all of you have done!!! less

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But seeing as it's due to a mental crisis on TOP OF a family crisis on his part, I can't blame him. When I broke it down, I lost him and I have friends, family, coping skills, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and the experience of having started my life over behind me. He's lost me, has some serious fears about his kids, has health issues because of the stress, had a small breakdown, has no one he can really turn to, no skills to cope with this, and no idea how to recover.

It hurts to know someone I love is in such an awful position even more than living without him sucks. But I'm getting through, one day at a time, and doing my best to have faith that if he is meant to be with me, he'll be back when he's ready. Until then, I'll get by. And if he's not meant to be with me and stays gone, it just means that there's someone better just waiting for me.

For those of you that believe in prayer (to anyone/anything - it's not so much the deity I'm concerned with as the push of positive energy) as my therapist, my family members, and I do, PLEASE pray for HIM. He has no real support system of his own (besides me) and needs mental clarity, strength, courage, and honesty!

Thank you again so much for all that all of you have done!!! less

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But seeing as it's due to a mental crisis on TOP OF a family crisis on his part, I can't blame him. When I broke it down, I lost him and I have friends, family, coping skills, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and the experience of having started my life over behind me. He's lost me, has some serious fears about his kids, has health issues because of the stress, had a small breakdown, has no one he can really turn to, no skills to cope with this, and no idea how to recover.

It hurts to know someone I love is in such an awful position even more than living without him sucks. But I'm getting through, one day at a time, and doing my best to have faith that if he is meant to be with me, he'll be back when he's ready. Until then, I'll get by. And if he's not meant to be with me and stays gone, it just means that there's someone better just waiting for me.

For those of you that believe in prayer (to anyone/anything - it's not so much the deity I'm concerned with as the push of positive energy) as my therapist, my family members, and I do, PLEASE pray for HIM. He has no real support system of his own (besides me) and needs mental clarity, strength, courage, and honesty!

Thank you again so much for all that all of you have done!!! less

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But seeing as it's due to a mental crisis on TOP OF a family crisis on his part, I can't blame him. When I broke it down, I lost him and I have friends, family, coping skills, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and the experience of having started my life over behind me. He's lost me, has some serious fears about his kids, has health issues because of the stress, had a small breakdown, has no one he can really turn to, no skills to cope with this, and no idea how to recover.

It hurts to know someone I love is in such an awful position even more than living without him sucks. But I'm getting through, one day at a time, and doing my best to have faith that if he is meant to be with me, he'll be back when he's ready. Until then, I'll get by. And if he's not meant to be with me and stays gone, it just means that there's someone better just waiting for me.

For those of you that believe in prayer (to anyone/anything - it's not so much the deity I'm concerned with as the push of positive energy) as my therapist, my family members, and I do, PLEASE pray for HIM. He has no real support system of his own (besides me) and needs mental clarity, strength, courage, and honesty!

Thank you again so much for all that all of you have done!!! less