The New Intimacy

How long would you date someone before you got married?

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Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by darthkitt3n
I'd definitely move in with him first. People tend to get more comfortable around each other that way and may let you see their true selves. I'm glad I did this with my ex boyfriend, since I found out what he was truly like before I got stuck ... more
Trust me... they change even more once you get married. I lived with my husband for a year before we got married. He changed even after we were married.
01/04/2011
Contributor: lamira lamira
I think you need to live with a person first before getting married, to understand how you two would work out regularly in daily life, not just seeing each other every once in a while. And I also do believe you two should be together for at least a year. I know so many people who have gotten married or engaged in less than a year and I think they are stupid and I'm pretty positive that they will divorce.
01/04/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
I think you need to live with a person first before getting married, to understand how you two would work out regularly in daily life, not just seeing each other every once in a while. And I also do believe you two should be together for at least a ... more
My dad and stepmom met and married in 2 months. They've been married 24 years.

My grandmother and grandfather met and married in two weeks. They were married for 50.

I met my husband online. We lived together for exactly one year and got married. We just celebrated 8 years of marriage. We don't have any intention of divorcing.

I don't think marriage is based on whether you live together and can get along. I think it's about the couple's determination to make things work, despite all odds. It's about commitment, compromise, and communication. The three C's of marriage! They're a must to make any marriage work. If you let any one of those things fall by the wayside... you're into divorce-land!
01/04/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
We dated for 6 years before we got married. You shouldn't put a time limit on such things. When the time is right, the time is right. In our case, we wanted to make sure we were financially stable before we tied the knot.
01/04/2011
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
I've been with my bf for almost 6 years, and we still aren't married, and I dn't see it happenng anytime soon. We just simply aren't meant to be married. I can see it being a complete disaster.
01/09/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Personally, I don't care to get married. But if I was so inclined to do so, then no sooner than 2 years together! No rush.
01/09/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
I asked my wife of now 14 years to marry me after we'd been dating nine months. I don't think there is any magical number, although certainly the longer a couple dates, the more likely fatal flaws in the relationship can pop up.

What is probably more important is to realize that each of you will change in your relationship as you move forward. Those couples that change similarly or in ways that don't conflict with the other person are more likely to survive as couples more so than those who change to the point where they drift apart. I think this is why a lot of people who get married very young get divorced-- radical change at a younger age is more natural than for older couples who have found themselves.
01/09/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by Lily Night
I hear about couples all the time who have limits on marriage. They always say that they have to at least be together for some amount of time before they even consider getting hitched. So my question is: Do you have a magic marriage number? and if ... more
i guess it depends on how we work together
01/18/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
I'd probably expect at least a year. At least, personally, for me. Anything under that and the two of you are still probably in a infatuation stage. After all, if it's meant to be, there's no reason to rush it either.
01/20/2011
Contributor: AU AU
We have been unmarried but together for 11 years. I almost have a heart attack every time we know when someone popped the question after a few months or a year. I know about being in loooove and feeling like it's meant to be, but I think you need to cool down a little before deciding. Why hurry things? I don't think you have to be together a decade before you decide! But take at least a year, and talk a lot about everything, know what your partner wants to do with his/her life, get to know their habits and beliefs. It sounds really obvious, but so many people don't do this simple thing. I do recommend living with someone first.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I lived on my own for 2 years before I met my husband; he lived on his own for a few years as well. We had a long distance relationship for 3 months (commuting back and forth 1.5hrs each way, on the weekends and some nights during the week). I looked into transferring closer to him and moved in with him exactly 3 months after meeting him for the first time. We got married 2 months later by the JOP (didn't tell our parents-his grandma would have died) and then had a family wedding 3 months after that.

So, even though everyone told us that we were doomed; that we didn't know each other well enough, it seemed to be just fine. We have been together 18 years in April.
01/22/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by Lily Night
I hear about couples all the time who have limits on marriage. They always say that they have to at least be together for some amount of time before they even consider getting hitched. So my question is: Do you have a magic marriage number? and if ... more
i might after a year, but i would probably end up waiting 2 yrs to get a better feel of how things might work out.
05/06/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by Lily Night
I hear about couples all the time who have limits on marriage. They always say that they have to at least be together for some amount of time before they even consider getting hitched. So my question is: Do you have a magic marriage number? and if ... more
I find that I fall head over heels quickly.
05/06/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I say two years at least, but even that doesn't seem like enough. I've been with my fiance since we were in high school, and I remember us when we were younger. We wanted to get married as soon as we turned 18. But truth is, you have a lot to learn about one another. Him and I learned that quickly once graduation came. We've been together 5 years, and it was worth it to wait.

You have to get to know their family, learn if you can stand to live with them, and definitely work out any kinks before the wedding day. There's always going to be kinks, so to speak. But there's some things that need to be talked about and understood before tying the knot.
05/06/2011
Contributor: Ms. Paprika Ms. Paprika
I would say a few years, at least two years...But even though people say it's risky to live with someone before marriage, I think it's a good trial run. After all, it's better to know they cut their toenails in bed, or whatever little quirk (or big) it is that drives you nuts before you're legally bound together, or have invested a lot of your hopes and dreams in them.
05/10/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Lily Night
I hear about couples all the time who have limits on marriage. They always say that they have to at least be together for some amount of time before they even consider getting hitched. So my question is: Do you have a magic marriage number? and if ... more
Definitely no limit. I'll decide with my heart and head.
05/12/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Lily Night
I hear about couples all the time who have limits on marriage. They always say that they have to at least be together for some amount of time before they even consider getting hitched. So my question is: Do you have a magic marriage number? and if ... more
Didn't vote since we have been married 23 years, but we dated for exactly 1 year before getting married. We were in our late 20's by then however, so we knew what we were looking for.
05/12/2011
Contributor: sexygoddess sexygoddess
at least a year. But we would have to live together first so I know we wont annoy each other.. too much
05/13/2011
Contributor: sassyNsensual sassyNsensual
I don't have a set limit....but I think it would have to be a long-ass time. divorce is more expensive than marriage....so i'm willing to wait it out
05/13/2011
Contributor: w-o-name w-o-name
If its going to happen, it will happen when its the right time
05/18/2011
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
I believe that you just know when it's right. Of course, maybe that type of attitude is why the divorce rate is so high...
My husband and I were only together for just over a year when he proposed, then were engaged for just over 3 years before we got married... On the day we got married, we'd been together for 4 years and 5 months, living together for about 2 years.
We knew we wanted to get married early-on, but didn't want to rush into things. We were perfectly happy to take our time and have a long engagement.
09/16/2012