The New Intimacy

How long before "moving in" together is "okay"?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
I heard in a new poll that more under forty folks are "living together" without being married then those living together who are married. However, folks who did get married waited LONGER before moving in together to begin with.

How long do you think it is okay to "be together" before "moving in"?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Never...unlless thre is an "I DO" that is DONE.
married with children , I'mNotYourToy , K101 , Bignuf , B2
5
Once Engaged
Ryuson , pootpootpoot
2
Dating ..immediatly if the chemistry is "right"
El-Jaro , Nautitam , Sunshineamine , Beck , StephieBoo02 , romstomp
6
Dating 1-3 Months
Dating 3-6 Months
Dating 6-12 Months
LilyLust , Hadespark , ily , emiliaa , aliceinthehole , Dawnie , InNeedOfABuzzzz , Sohotdinosaur , jokerzwild , WD40watcher , Bethy Cassatt , delta117 , ghalik , pootpootpoot , gsfanatic , potstickers
16
Dating more then 12 Months...how long?
Shellz31 , Ghost , Dusk , LAndJ , aliceinthehole , Subska , dragonn , ghalik
8
Other?
AngelvMaynard , Redboxbaby , El-Jaro , P'Gell , MaryExy , RonLee , mandiegk , lovemuscle n cookie , Noira Celestia , Lucky21 , Ms. Spice , bayosgirl , toxie m , JessCee , Misfit Momma , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Avant-garde , froggiemoma , PiratePrincess , playtimeohsofun , Airen Wolf , ily , tickle me pink , js250 , TheSlyFox , slynch , K101 , ThoughtsAblaze , Rossie , Envy , Vanessa Weiss , Sex'и'Violence , Apirka , Sunshineamine , C-Rae , Pixel , indiglo , Secret Pleasure , Undead , MissCandyland , ladychristie , dbm6907 , Jon S , curious kitten , breebree , StarFire , pixxie87 , ghalik , pitona , CoffeeCup , pootpootpoot , vegweg , Ice1 , ViVix , PeachieClean , VelvetDragon
56
Total votes: 93 (84 voters)
Poll is closed
07/18/2011
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
There is no right answer.
07/18/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
I voted other, because I think every couple and relationship is different. I've got friends who moved in together after just a few dates, and friends who have been together for years and still live apart. I am a firm believer that you should live together before getting married. Figure out if you can live together before committing to it legally. As always that's just my opinion.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
There is no right answer.
She's right!

Every relationship is different. We moved in after knowing each other only 2-3 months and married 2 months later. We've been together 18 years. He is the only man I have ever lived with or married.
07/18/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
There is no right answer.
Ditto!

I've moved in with gf's right away and I've never lived with others. It all depends on the relationship.
07/18/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
It depends on the couple and the situation. I don't think there is any answer that applies to all.

I've only lived with one man. We were together for several years before moving in together, mostly because 1) I was very young, only 16 when we started dating and did not have the maturity or the desire to move in with a man 2)we were in an Open Relationship and living with someone, while dating other people would have been awkward, to say the least.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I generally tell people to wait to move in until after the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship is over and they can step back and take an honest look at their relationship and compatibility without feeling overwhelmed with positive, oogly-googly feelings.
07/18/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
There is no right answer.
I agree. There are so many other factors involved than simply time.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Depends on the couple and the situation, I say! I personally think around engagement is a good approximation!
07/18/2011
Contributor: lovemuscle n cookie lovemuscle n cookie
It is hard to give it a time frame, as everyone is different as is every relationship.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
I thought what I had read said that after a certain amount of years living together without getting married you're less likely to get married. Or something like that?
07/18/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
I think it matters more on where the individual people are. Sometimes it's right, and sometimes it's not. I really think it takes a good level of comfort and a great deal of honest conversations.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
it really matters on the couple. i really don't there's a set rules of dating that everyone needs to adhere by.
07/19/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
There is no right answer.
I agree. PERSONALLY it would definitely be after engagement at least, but everyone's situations and values are different.
07/19/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Depends on the couple and the situation. Personally, I say one year is minimum, but of course there are lots of stories out there of couples who just clicked and went for it right away and lasted years and years.
07/19/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
Yeah, my current partner and I moved in together right away. (I think it was after a month) We've been together four years now and are engaged. <3
07/19/2011
Contributor: LilyLust LilyLust
I feel you need to know someone, in general, for atleast six months to a year before you start to really know them. THEN you could think about moving in together. I've lived with some horror stories. And thats how I came to my 6 month to 12 month rule.
07/20/2011
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
depends on the couple; for some later, others sooner.
07/20/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
i think it depends on the couple too. My bf moved in with me in with me after months.
07/20/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
It purely depends on the couple. There really is no right answer.
07/20/2011
Contributor: playtimeohsofun playtimeohsofun
whenever you feel ready!
07/21/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I heard in a new poll that more under forty folks are "living together" without being married then those living together who are married. However, folks who did get married waited LONGER before moving in together to begin with.

How ... more
When the couple or moresome feels the time is right!
07/21/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
I heard in a new poll that more under forty folks are "living together" without being married then those living together who are married. However, folks who did get married waited LONGER before moving in together to begin with.

How ... more
it really depends on the two people, their compatibility, etc.
08/02/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
Everyone is different, so there's no one "right time."
08/02/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I don't know if there's a specific time that's right for everyone, LOL. I think it's good to wait a few months at least, though, because things can seem great at first and change quickly. Nothing wrong with whatever people choose, it can work, and sometimes it won't, no matter what.
08/05/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
There are too many different factors for there to be a 'right' answer. How long have you known each other? What is the emotional factor and intensity? Etc.
08/05/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I voted only when married and other. I say only when you're married only because that is what my partner and I are choosing. We prefer to go that route. I say other because there's no real time for everyone. Its different for every single couple. I certainly don't recommend moving in right away. I have to know my partner as much as possible, everthing before I even consider long term. My partner and I chose to go slow... well with most things. Lol I take a very long time to get comfortable around people and hes the only man who's LET me get comfortable and relax around him and be good enough just being me. I wasn't used to a man being nice and kind and so good to me so I take forever trying to get it through my head that his intentions are good where a lot of women would haave been perfectly comfortable within the first month. It's different for everyone, but jumping into moving in together is very serious and should never been done on impulse. That's for sure.
08/05/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
It's another "depends on the couple" question. It depends on maturity, how well you know and understand each other, and especially if you both have similar aspirations for the relationship (or else you may either butt heads or become stagnate, neither of which is good). In general, I think the longer you wait, the better so that you can get to know the person on his/her own ground and separate from you before you live together.
08/05/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
It's different for everyone, whenever the couple think they're ready.
08/05/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
It's different for everyone. What works for one might not work for another.
08/06/2011