I've had several abusive partners in the past: physical, emotional, verbal. Now I'm with a partner who emphasizes communication and is a real sweetheart!
Have you ever....
06/06/2012
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He sounds like a very sad, messed up person. Be glad you got out!
Originally posted by
Beck
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but
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more
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but I could tell he waited to. Later I found out that he was dating this other girl I went to school with after we broke up. He use to tell her while they was having sex how fat she was, and other nasty things. Seems like this guy was just a real jerk.
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06/06/2012
No it's never happened to me because I tend to be far more paranoid about that stuff happening and don't really get involved too often so I can cut away if anything seems odd.
06/06/2012
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I would absolutely consider what you're describing as emotional abuse. It can be really daunting to put a label on emotional abuse just because it's so difficult to define--so many aspects of it are small, everyday things that build up over time--but I think it's important that people recognize it for what it is.
Originally posted by
thisisadeletedaccount
I'm not really sure anymore... I know many people have been in way worse situations and I feel weird calling it abusive, but my ex would tell me what I could and couldn't wear, get upset when I wore anything revealing, and tell me that
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I'm not really sure anymore... I know many people have been in way worse situations and I feel weird calling it abusive, but my ex would tell me what I could and couldn't wear, get upset when I wore anything revealing, and tell me that dressing that way made it harder for him to love me. It wasn't until I got into a better relationship that I realized the contrast between situations, how controlling he'd been and how horrible he'd made me feel about myself.
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I hope that saying that isn't, I don't know, stepping on your toes, because I do get where you're coming from, feeling like other people have it worse. I haven't been in an abusive romantic relationship, but my father was emotionally abusive, and it took me a long time--like, years--to see that the problem was with him rather than with me, and that just because he wasn't hitting me didn't mean that it was okay. So I tend to get on a soapbox about the issue, especially because, in my experience at least, one of the main signs of emotional abuse is trivializing your experiences/feelings (i.e. "you're just too sensitive" or whatever).
06/06/2012
I haven't been in an abusive relationship.
06/06/2012
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Amen!
Originally posted by
Shellz31
No!
A guy won't last long around here if there's even a hint of violence on his behalf. I won't tolerate that!
A guy won't last long around here if there's even a hint of violence on his behalf. I won't tolerate that!
08/27/2012
I've only ever really been in two relationships. One guy was a total dick but not abusive. The other is my current fiance who is so far from abusive. I think it's really sad that anyone feels they have to tolerate an abusive relationship for any reason. I know so many people say "just leave!" but it's really not that simple.
08/27/2012
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Yes, he was very emotionally and verbally abusive. He would manipulate people into thinking he was this great guy and I was some kind of psychotic B*^#@. (We worked together). Almost everyone believed him, and when I tried to report him for harrassment, I was told it was the nature of the environment we worked in. (Law Enforcement). WHAT A JOKE!!! I had to quit my job after 11 years, and move to another city to get away from him.
Originally posted by
Beck
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but
...
more
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but I could tell he waited to. Later I found out that he was dating this other girl I went to school with after we broke up. He use to tell her while they was having sex how fat she was, and other nasty things. Seems like this guy was just a real jerk.
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08/27/2012
My first relationship was with an emotionally abusive guy. I grew up watching my mom get emotionally abused so I thought that's just the way relationships go. Luckily I had some amazing friends who helped me realize he was a jerk and helped me get, and stay, away from him.
08/27/2012
My ex husband was abusive emotionaly and physically.
08/27/2012
I have been in verbally,mentally and physically abusive relationships. An ex of mine got completely drunk an slung me into the bar in the kitchen and slammed me into walls at the time we thought I was pregnant but he didn't care a few weeks later he did it sober in front of a friend because he came home an I was "dressed up" he threw on the bed and called me a whore. All my other ex's were mentally and verbally abusive
08/28/2012
Never physically. Emotional abuse though...yes. I was with a man much older than me, in a position of authority over me, our relationship was a secret...and he just exploited my lack of experience, my naive awe with him (a mentor...tch. What a waste of time), and just fucked with my head so much, that it wore my self-esteem down to nothing. He'd be so sweet and loving for a while, and I'd be elated. Then he'd be cold, distant, and he'd humiliate me in front of other people. Because no one could know about our relationship without it causing a scandal, I just kept quiet. Then he'd be loving and sweet again when he'd come to me for sex, and then he'd say awful, degrading things to me, and then become cold and distant again. He seeped into every aspect of my life for a while, making me dependent upon him, and so ashamed of myself for what I'd put up with from him, that it took me a while to go to anyone for help. I really hated myself over it for a while. When I got away from him and ended up with another guy who treated me with respect and showed me real affection, he flipped out, and tried to turn the tables on me, like I was the one who hurt HIM. It was disgusting. I have no contact with him anymore, and there are still mutual friends and colleagues in our lives who don't know why we won't talk to each other. They have no idea what the true nature of our relationship was. It was a nightmare, and it still creeps into my life sometimes.
Never again. Never, ever, ever again will I let a man treat me that way. No woman deserves that...no man, either. It's just cruel.
Never again. Never, ever, ever again will I let a man treat me that way. No woman deserves that...no man, either. It's just cruel.
08/30/2012
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There have been time in our relationship, Sigel and I, where we were very abusive to each other. My father is a violent man and a recovering alcoholic so I knew what to avoid but I didn't realize there are so many ways to abuse a loved one...at any rate my hard stop is physical abuse, so no I have never been in a relationship where that was a component. Emotional craziness, however, oh ya!
Originally posted by
Beck
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but
...
more
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but I could tell he waited to. Later I found out that he was dating this other girl I went to school with after we broke up. He use to tell her while they was having sex how fat she was, and other nasty things. Seems like this guy was just a real jerk.
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We were both so very broken, Sigel and I, that we sorta felt like it was just normal to rip and tear at each other. I do have to say that the years we have had recently where we have worked through our problems instead of just stuffing them in boxes and beating each other up have been the best years of our lives.
08/30/2012
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I was going to say the same thing...when someone tells you that the choices you make regarding how you look make it hard for them to love you it is emotional abuse. Love flows from the heart and only abusive or hurtful things make that love stop...not superficial things like appearance.
Originally posted by
pasdechat
I would absolutely consider what you're describing as emotional abuse. It can be really daunting to put a label on emotional abuse just because it's so difficult to define--so many aspects of it are small, everyday things that build up over
...
more
I would absolutely consider what you're describing as emotional abuse. It can be really daunting to put a label on emotional abuse just because it's so difficult to define--so many aspects of it are small, everyday things that build up over time--but I think it's important that people recognize it for what it is.
I hope that saying that isn't, I don't know, stepping on your toes, because I do get where you're coming from, feeling like other people have it worse. I haven't been in an abusive romantic relationship, but my father was emotionally abusive, and it took me a long time--like, years--to see that the problem was with him rather than with me, and that just because he wasn't hitting me didn't mean that it was okay. So I tend to get on a soapbox about the issue, especially because, in my experience at least, one of the main signs of emotional abuse is trivializing your experiences/feelings (i.e. "you're just too sensitive" or whatever). less
I hope that saying that isn't, I don't know, stepping on your toes, because I do get where you're coming from, feeling like other people have it worse. I haven't been in an abusive romantic relationship, but my father was emotionally abusive, and it took me a long time--like, years--to see that the problem was with him rather than with me, and that just because he wasn't hitting me didn't mean that it was okay. So I tend to get on a soapbox about the issue, especially because, in my experience at least, one of the main signs of emotional abuse is trivializing your experiences/feelings (i.e. "you're just too sensitive" or whatever). less
'Course you seem to be in a WAY better place now. But yes I would categorize the previous relationship as the beginnings of a VERY abusive relationship.
08/30/2012
I'm sorry to hear that anyone was in an abusive relationship! Really sorry to hear some of you were in more than one!!!
08/30/2012
Well....kind of. My mother is extremely emotionally abusive.
10/12/2012
yes when I was a teenager
10/15/2012
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I have been in a few. I consider mental abuse to be the worst for myself. It's something that takes a long long time to heal.
Originally posted by
Beck
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but
...
more
Been in an abusive relationship? Could be violence, emotional, or anything else. Voting will be private. When I was 16 I dated this one guy Jesse he would throw things around whenever we got into a fight, and he would yell at me. He never hit me, but I could tell he waited to. Later I found out that he was dating this other girl I went to school with after we broke up. He use to tell her while they was having sex how fat she was, and other nasty things. Seems like this guy was just a real jerk.
less
10/15/2012
no - and I hope I never am
10/19/2012
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Unique posters: 46
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