The New Intimacy

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Contributor: guard083 guard083
Would it offend you if your partner told a friend they were good looking and fun to boost their confidence after they have had a rough few dates and experiences with dating?

My man did this and the girl called telling me about it expecting me to get mad, but I didn't. I wondered how everyone would take this.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
yes
KennyMister , K101
2
no
Redboxbaby , Alys , fghjkl , Kim! , El-Jaro , Coralbell , removedacnt , PassionQT , gone77 , Alicia , Red Vinyl Kitty , C4ss , Kissaki , married with children , Dusk , Angel deSanguine , LavenderSkies , rdytogo , potstickers , Shellz31 , darthkitt3n , Sensual husband , leatherlover , Lady Venus , Chevylady37 , sbon , UnknownGirl , Naughty Student , BluePixi , Love Buzz , firekitten , Selective Sensualist , Crystal1 , erif957 , Ritsuka , REDRUM , mrs.mckrakn , The Giveaway Diva , RonLee , Morganna , DeliciousSurprise , Envy , P'Gell , *HisMrs* , ~LaUr3n~ , BBW Talks Toys , Laureenm1 , Epicurean , BrokeNHorny , KnK , indiglo , Danielle1220 , Eliza , 34 , qqqqqqqqqqqq , 7Miles , tits only , sweet seduction , x cherri , Choolz , Airekah , BadgersRose , joja , tickle me pink , froggiemoma , nicole07 , SexyStuff , cobiffle , zeebot , MonkeyBoo , barrettbn2 , Mseg20 , Carmb47 , Reny , Joie de Cherresse , Fernand0 , Lumberman , Taboada , GravyCakes , angel142stx , Nissa Nissa , Dear Ruby , Madeira , ily , sarki , v23 , thebest , cburger , frisky069 , systematicweasel , wrecklesswords , ToyBoy , js250 , caligaliber , Ms. Spice , DixieDoo , PussyPurr , NaughtyButterfly , EvilHomer , Valentinka , padmeamidala , AndroAngel , Nora , Bignuf , Miss Anonymous , bdvnt , DeliciousDrip , shySEXXaddict , unfulfilled
109
depends (please explain)
Yoda , ninaspinkturtle , x cherri , tigerkate , Sex'и'Violence , link82 , KennyMister , Breas , N&M , wetone123 , Ghost , Princess-Kayla ♥ , Ms. Spice , Illumin8 , Beck , Rhazya
16
Total votes: 127 (124 voters)
Poll is closed
01/12/2011
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Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
It would not bother me at all that he said that. What would bother me is the intention that my friend had in telling me, since she expected me to get mad and was surprised that I didn't. That would make me wonder if she was trying to create jealousy or cause a fight between my partner and I.
01/12/2011
Contributor: Alys Alys
I would have to agree with Redboxbaby, it seems suspicious that she called to tell you, expecting that you would get mad.
01/12/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Unless you had suspicions about the friend in the first place, I wouldn't stress it. I compliment women other than my girlfriend; it's a nice thing to do.
01/12/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
You might want to tell her that you hope some day she finds a man that she can trust enough to not be jealous just because he complimented another woman. And that you think what he did was very sweet. It might make her think a bit about the kind of man she wants in her life.
01/12/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
You might want to tell her that you hope some day she finds a man that she can trust enough to not be jealous just because he complimented another woman. And that you think what he did was very sweet. It might make her think a bit about the kind of ... more
Agreed!
01/12/2011
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Nah, it wouldn't faze me at all. In fact, I'd think it sweet.
01/12/2011
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
I depends on the context. Are we talking about a close and trusted friend that is close to both partners? Or a person that is close to the offending party only? If that other person feels guilty enough about it, I worry that there was more implied in the moment.
01/12/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by guard083
Would it offend you if your partner told a friend they were good looking and fun to boost their confidence after they have had a rough few dates and experiences with dating?

My man did this and the girl called telling me about it expecting me ... more
Nah, it's human nature to think this way.
01/13/2011
Contributor: rdytogo rdytogo
No big deal. Everybody needs a confidence boost from time to time.
01/13/2011
Contributor: Chevylady37 Chevylady37
i trust my husband, i know he flirts with girls here and there, but at least he is honest about it he tells me about it. If i had a trust issue then it would offend me
01/13/2011
Contributor: sbon sbon
Nah, if that's all it was, it wouldn't be a problem. I would be a bit concerned about why she thought it necessary to call and tell you, though.
01/13/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Seems like a silly thing to get mad about.
01/14/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
My guy compliments women all the time, he is a very caring type of guy and will treat all women in a similar way he treats me, with love and respect. Which I admire a lot about him.

I wouldn't be worried about my partner but by my friends intentions.
01/14/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
It would not bother me at all that he said that. What would bother me is the intention that my friend had in telling me, since she expected me to get mad and was surprised that I didn't. That would make me wonder if she was trying to create ... more
Seconded. I've had the misfortune of knowing too many people who consistently harbor underhanded intentions of being 'shit-stirrers' and who try to plant seeds of doubt and disharmony in others' lives. If she is supposed to be your friend, why would she call you specifically to tell you something that she expected would make you mad? And, when you surprised her by NOT being mad, she was manipulative in telling you that she EXPECTED you to be mad, as she was implying that what occurred was something about which you SHOULD be mad.

Anyway, back to your main question: no, what your husband said to her was sweet. I would never be mad about my husband showing kindness and sensitivity toward someone in need of cheering up. He didn't cheat or anything like that, he merely tried to boost someone's low spirits with verbal affirmation. I might be upset if he told her that he LONGED with every fiber of his being to be with her, if only he weren't already in a relationship - but that is far from what he actually said!
01/14/2011
Contributor: erif957 erif957
I mean its not like everybody around you gets ugly or boring as soon as you start dating someone. If someone is hot they're hot. If they're fun they're fun whether your dating someone or not. Now if your partner said that to boost someone's confidence that just means your parnter is a good friend and that's a good thing
01/14/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
ha! no
01/17/2011
Contributor: The Giveaway Diva The Giveaway Diva
It wouldn't bother me if I knew that the reason was because they were having a hard time
01/17/2011
Contributor: Morganna Morganna
I do it all the time, haha, even to my exes that I'm still friends with. Thankfully, my boyfriend doesn't seem to mind much. Everyone needs a confidence boost every now & then, there's not point in getting mad over it.
01/17/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by guard083
Would it offend you if your partner told a friend they were good looking and fun to boost their confidence after they have had a rough few dates and experiences with dating?

My man did this and the girl called telling me about it expecting me ... more
it wouldnt bother me if they said it in front of me but if it was behind my back i would feel like they were hiding something
01/18/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Nope. But that girl is trouble.
01/18/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Nope. But that girl is trouble.
Amen Sista'!
01/18/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Nope. But that girl is trouble.
Yeah, we would be having words after something like that. Not cool!
01/18/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by erif957
I mean its not like everybody around you gets ugly or boring as soon as you start dating someone. If someone is hot they're hot. If they're fun they're fun whether your dating someone or not. Now if your partner said that to boost ... more
Thats very well put, I totally agree.
01/18/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
It would not bother me at all that he said that. What would bother me is the intention that my friend had in telling me, since she expected me to get mad and was surprised that I didn't. That would make me wonder if she was trying to create ... more
Snaps to that. Wth was she thinking?
01/19/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
My man would definitely say something positive like that to make a friend feel better, and I like that about him.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
Nope!
01/21/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
I don't think there's a problem with that at all. Just the other night a friend called me really upset because a girl he likes ditched him, and I was telling him he's a great person and attractive and all that, and my girlfriend was with me and definitely had no problem with it.
01/21/2011
Contributor: tits only tits only
Females been trying to get me mad at my boyfriend sense we started dating 10 years ago. I don't get upset because he has a charm about him and he is that way with everyone. I think it is funny.
01/23/2011
Contributor: sweet seduction sweet seduction
not at all
01/24/2011