The New Intimacy

You know you've been at Eden too long when...

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Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I recently was sent an email that made me fall over in giggles and it was "You know you've been in China for too long when..." and I thought it would be fun to have one here at EF.

So let me begin...

You know you've been at Eden too long when... you get an EF email and you can name every toy (with price) in the email.
04/24/2012
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Contributor: Mwar Mwar
when you can do 30% off calculations on the spot!
04/24/2012
Contributor: vanilla&chocolate vanilla&chocolate
When you can do 20% off calculations on the spot
04/24/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
When you look at the post titles and say "Hasn't that been asked fifteen times since I joined?"
04/24/2012
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
When you look at the post titles and say "Hasn't that been asked fifteen times since I joined?"
*like.


when you're using your overstock of Eden Wipes to clean up kitty puke, wipe down the inside of your truck, wipe off your kitchen counters...



or when you've got a whole section of organizers in your bedroom JUST for your sex toys.
04/24/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
When you look at the post titles and say "Hasn't that been asked fifteen times since I joined?"
Indeed!

When you can go into a sex store and remember the price difference between the store and Eden.
04/24/2012
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
When you can watch amateur porn and know the name, manufacturer, and price of the toy she's using.

And you know it's rubber/jelly and are kinda grossed out.
04/24/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
When you look at the post titles and say "Hasn't that been asked fifteen times since I joined?"
Thank you! lol


When you school the clerk at the local toy shop on their products.

When you see some thing at the grocery store and say "OH, bet that would feel good.
04/24/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Indeed!

When you can go into a sex store and remember the price difference between the store and Eden.
Oh yes this I do now.
04/24/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
When you just go to the new additions and already have the page memorized.
04/25/2012
Contributor: shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
When you just go to the new additions and already have the page memorized.
I agree with you here..also with Rin! Im always on so new additions are old for me and I really actually do go into our local porn store and no that they are charging high way robbery for most things
04/25/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
I recently was sent an email that made me fall over in giggles and it was "You know you've been in China for too long when..." and I thought it would be fun to have one here at EF.

So let me begin...

You know you've ... more
Lovely idea! These are always so much fun to me

You know you've been on EF too long when everything starts looking like sex toys... "you want cucumbers in your salad dear?"

When you've began to use code words while talking about EF in front of the kids... Shortening the name to Eden only so the kids don't get curious and calling your toys "your sewing supplies."

"Honey, you know that purple FABRIC I just bought? Well, I bought YARN to go with it." Translation: "Honey, you know that purple vibrator I just bought? Well, I bought a new lube to go with it!"
04/25/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
When you are reading with a first grader and the car in his book goes vroom, and you have to stiffle a giggle.
04/25/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
When you wander into your bedroom and there is zero space on your vanity, which is covered with dozens of bottles of lubes, massage oils, perfumes, feathers ect.

When you start removing clothing from your dresser to store your new 'goodies'.

When your husband begins to school people on the proper care of all types of sex toys because he has heard you describe them in detail for YEARS!

When your boyfriend looks over your 'wishlist' because he needs a quick gift and he knows your intimate system of labeling those items you simply MUST have. Then your husband knows to correct your boyfriend before he makes his purchase because you just got a HUGE shipment and those 'must have items' were in the box. Then an argument ensues because you haven't actually reviewed those items and your husband can't simply go into the bedroom to show the boyfriend on skype because it would give away the secret and spoil the gift. And THEN they both sit down to write a collaborative article on polyamory because this story is too funny to keep to themselves and they simply MUST share...
04/25/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
When you can watch amateur porn and know the name, manufacturer, and price of the toy she's using.

And you know it's rubber/jelly and are kinda grossed out.
Oh man, this so many times.
04/25/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Oh man, this so many times.
Same here! I actually saw one on a porn that I owned. My hubby giggled at me.

Also when you have ran out of space in your toy dresser and have to start using the boxes they were mailed in. And there is a Landry basket at the end of your bed full of Lingerie.
04/25/2012
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
In my case:

You keep highly detailed spreadsheets of your orders complete with date and sorted by month, price of items, gift cards used, and whether or not those items have been reviewed, were assignments, or needed a video.

A complete toy inventory listing the name, manufacturer, price, whether you still own the item, and estimated total gross value of your toy collection and a total of how much you still own.

A gift card spreadsheet containing which you've gotten when and for what, what is available and what is pending, and which ones were used on what order.

Sometimes I think I have a problem . . .

But they're actually highly useful for keeping track of things. No more spending 5 hours trying to figure out what I can write a review for or having so sift through my e-mail for gift cards I haven't used up.
04/25/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
When you wander into your bedroom and there is zero space on your vanity, which is covered with dozens of bottles of lubes, massage oils, perfumes, feathers ect.

When you start removing clothing from your dresser to store your new ... more
That tale is incredibly lol-worthy. I smell a sitcom!
04/25/2012
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
When you just go to the new additions and already have the page memorized.
touche! me too!!!
04/25/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
That tale is incredibly lol-worthy. I smell a sitcom!
I was about to say something like it - brilliant visuals on the boys working out that stuff. ^_^
04/25/2012
Contributor: Bethrianne Bethrianne
I've only recently started using this web site for shopping, reading reviews, discussions, etc. But lately my husband will look over at my screen and ask, "You're still on that web site looking at sex stuff?" Not that he's minded; he's the one that wanted stuff from here in the first place!
04/25/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
*like.


when you're using your overstock of Eden Wipes to clean up kitty puke, wipe down the inside of your truck, wipe off your kitchen counters...



or when you've got a whole section of organizers in your bedroom JUST for your sex toys.
That's a good one. The wipes are indeed multi-purpose
04/25/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Bethrianne
I've only recently started using this web site for shopping, reading reviews, discussions, etc. But lately my husband will look over at my screen and ask, "You're still on that web site looking at sex stuff?" Not that he's ... more
Welcome! You'll be ONE OF US soon, being all "Why is she using the Iridescent Plug (Doc Johnson, $9.99) when she could be using the Tantus Slim ($27.99 but non-porous!)?"
04/25/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Same here! I actually saw one on a porn that I owned. My hubby giggled at me.

Also when you have ran out of space in your toy dresser and have to start using the boxes they were mailed in. And there is a Landry basket at the end of your bed ... more
Oh, that too. In good porn, I can be like "Oooh, that Njoy is excellent! But that one's overrated..."

What a weird culture we have, guys! I love you all
04/25/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Oh, that too. In good porn, I can be like "Oooh, that Njoy is excellent! But that one's overrated..."

What a weird culture we have, guys! I love you all
It is a culture of love and pleasure for all! Seriously, where else can you go to find people actively and happily discussing different ways to achieve maximum levels of ecstasy, and passing advice about the topic on to anyone who asks?
04/25/2012
Contributor: Llahsram Llahsram
When you expect to get points for posting Facebook updates.
04/25/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Llahsram
When you expect to get points for posting Facebook updates.
I have sat there waiting for the little window to pop up before. lol

When you can't decide which toy to use first when a package arrives, so you use them all. After taking pictures for your review of course.

When you open a new Flickr account because the other three are full of pictures for reviews. (I am so happy EF hosts them know)

(This one is all me of course) When you see if the new silicone lube you are sent is flammable.

When you know just by looking what type and how many batteries a vibe takes.
04/25/2012
Contributor: NurseKitty NurseKitty
When you use a forum topic in class to start a controversial discussion.

Yup I used this, I posed the question "Would you by a sex toy for your son/daughter if they asked you to" to a group of nursing students to get them to talk about S-E-X. They were freaked out!
04/26/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
When you consider people who have been here for 2 years newbies
04/26/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
When, browsing on other forums, you are momentarily surprised when you don't see the "points box" pop up.
04/26/2012