The New Intimacy

What would you do if someone shared your real name and hometown location online?

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Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by MuffysPinguLove
I totally agree about educating children about what information they give out on the internet. When my brother was in middle school he made a facebook and when he friended me I realized that he had all his personal info on there. His name, full ... more
I agree 100% with both paragraphs!
07/22/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Rabid Wombats with sharpened didgeridoos.
See now I knew there was a reason I liked you JR...I was thinking fevered, intestinally suffering pigeons fed crack and turned loose on the person after they were dipped in plaster of paris, but it sounded too long.

I would not be too pleased but then I'm not all that private in my real life. I would worry because I have young children and their safety is my one and only concern. I would also worry cause in some sick minds what we do here indicates a desire to be used for sex...or that somehow we've given up our right to say no because we acknowledge that we are sexual beings. Then again I have two very strong, physically scary men who watch everyone I come in contact with. Still I don't have my picture on the site for a reason, I LIKE my anonymity.

As for the ehtics: I don't and won't discuss anything about my guys online without their permission so I extend this to all my online and offline friends. It IS unethical to "out" someone especially someone here. To be fair I resent total strangers wanting to be my "friend" on facebook...and I'm totally anonymous there so ya I'd be royally pissed. I'd probably want them gone from here since this is MY playground. I would also confront them in real life with probably a fine for fucking them up...it would be worth the $25 fine to punch them square in the mouth!

I don't know if it is specifically stated in the rules of conduct here at EF that everyone will respect the anonymity and privacy of the members but perhaps it should be? Gawd I hope this is just a hypothetical question...but I have a stinking suspicion it isn't.

I have to agree with Sir and Rayne I would want to be sure it never happened again and limit the damage it does. It could be very damaging and dangerous if you out someone who is dodging an abuser, for instance.

Everyone should have the right to decide how much they choose to share with the community. I would think requiring a public appology to the offended person and a sternly worded reprimand should suffice in most instances...if not then I guess the only recourse is to ban them.
07/22/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
After thinking this over some more with the added information that it happened in this very community, I wouldn't trust that the person handing out the information wouldn't come back with a vengeance from a suspension. If they purposefully and knowingly did something that was such a large breach of trust, I would be ok with them being banned permanently on any and all accounts they have here and not being allowed to make a new account at any point in the future. If the person who got the information from the person giving it out asked for that information, they should be banned as well.
07/22/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I would be royally pissed!! Information like this in hands of a potential employer could be a deal buster. I am fairly open on EF but I say very little to my friends, though one did "discover" me on EF.
07/22/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I have a horrible relationship with my family and they do not approve of my religious choices let alone my relationship ones. I have young children who must be protected from those people who would see my being here as a sexually deviant thing to do, which is why I don't post pictures of myself or them. Thing is, at least for me, I use Airen in my real life because I can't stand my given name. I have become less rigid about it because my life partner likes it...it's Angela (Angie is what he calls me) but for many years it was the name I associated with angry words and painful humiliation. You add into the mix the fact that Sigel's job is dependant on good will and faith in his ability to deliver what he promises and things could get uncomfortable if it should become common knowledge what we do in our bedroom. We are openly discreet and try to remain as classy as possible.
While I highly doubt all of this was done viciously or with malice aforethought it IS a rude thing to do. It is definitely a breach of nettiquette and an appology should be tendered.
That's what I would wish done to me if I had breached a friend's confidence or had mine breached. If it was done out of spite or malice then we don't need someone like that muddying up our pond, they should be asked to leave and then forced if necessary.
07/22/2010
Contributor: HevansS HevansS
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I would not freak out, but I would get pissed off, aggravated, and possibly reprimand them personally. I would consider it a breach of my privacy, yes, and also unethical. More than unethical, however, it is just not nice to do. I would not care ... more
Seconded.
07/23/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Youtube here
Ok, thats really freaky. Right before summer my sisters middle school played a few videos and talked about "summer saftey" basicly saying be safe dont hang out late in dark alleys, dont acept drinks from strangers. Basicly a bunch of stuff people who lack common sense dont know. One of the videos was that one.

There was a big issue because some parents were ferious they showed that to there kids. I personaly dont think its a issue that they show students that video. I mean most(not all) middle school kids know some stuff about about sex, and porn. But some parents think there kids know nothing.
07/24/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Youtube here
Damn kids.
07/25/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
My opinion? The member deserves to be banned outright. We're all over 18 here, and if being over 18 doesn't include the common sense of "We're on a sex community where people want to keep their identity safe - maybe I shouldn't share this information", you don't deserve to be on an over-18 community.
07/25/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Damn kids.
Yeah!

damn kids with their interwebs and lull cats and interweb pixely cameras! Where's my Interoscitor!
07/25/2010
Contributor: teeny <3 teeny <3
I would freak! . . . but then again, the location listed on my profile is "bible belt." I'd also want to know how that person figured out who I was. I might change my internet connection just in case.

I love the brief time I've spent as a part of EF and would not want to leave the community. And I'm not going to let some jerk have the pleasure of scaring me away like that. I'd maybe ask if I there was a way I could get a new profile and alias, but still maintain my reviewer ranking and points. Maybe there's not, but it couldn't hurt to ask . . .
02/22/2011
Contributor: Collodion Collodion
Quote:
Originally posted by Splendwhore
A man after my own heart! I like your style mister!
Agreed.
05/13/2011
Contributor: ac0313 ac0313
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'd be pretty pissed, because it's up to me to decide how much information I want to share on this, or any other site.

If it were an accident, I might be less angry about it, but still. If they only did it once, I would go for the ... more
I agree. Each of us deserve to be annonymous, if we so desire. No one should be allowed to change that on purpose without consequences.
05/14/2011
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
[Quote="CarrieAnn"]People have the right to privacy in this sort of situation. Many have a genuine NEED to keep their identities private. Sharing that info without permission is absolutely unethical and a blatant and intentional breach of privacy.

One of our SexIs writers (TBK, of the Whore Journals) recently went thru a lot of shit over having been outted at work. She lost her job over being a sex blogger. No one should have to go thru that. No one should have to worry about whether their info is safe on a site that promises privacy via screen names. [/quote]

This is my scenario. I am quite proud of any small contribution I have made to this community, but with my job and other aspects of my daily life, I need to keep an anonymous profile. I do have some people I trust with my real info, but they have earned it. If it were shared with others without my consent, it could potentially be very damaging to my career and other aspects of my life. That should not be done without my consent or knowledge.
05/14/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
I'm wayy late on this discussion, but I thought I'd share my 2 cents anyhow

I've never had someone I personally know IRL share my personal info online, but I did have a blog owner do it once. I entered a contest on a blog and then sent the link to a bunch of my friends and family. There were multiple prizes in the giveaway and when the prizes were drawn it just so happened that both me and my sister won. We forwarded our info to the woman and because we had the same mailing address she assumed it was one person pretending to be multiple people. I found out a few days later (from someone who saw it and emailed me) that she had posted our full names, emails and home addresses in forums and I was FURIOUS.

There were no rules in her giveaway saying "one entry per household" and the thing that made me the most angry was that she didn't even try to resolve it with us she just put our info out there for everyone to see. The kicker was that she lived in the same city as us and wouldn't call us or meet with us so that we could show her we weren't trying to pull one over on her.

I understand why she would jump to that conclusion and perhaps I shouldn't have shared the giveaway with my family and friends, but I was not pleased by how she handled it. She could have emailed us to let us know her suspicions or even to tell us she wasn't sending the prizes, but to share our personal information all over the internet was bad form. Rude and unnecessary.
05/21/2011