The New Intimacy

What would you do if someone shared your real name and hometown location online?

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Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would you ignore it? Would you insist that this person be banned for doing this? Is this a serious breach of privacy? Is it such a gray area that you just don’t know? Is this unethical?

What would you do? How would you feel?
07/20/2010
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Rabid Wombats with sharpened didgeridoos.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
I would not freak out, but I would get pissed off, aggravated, and possibly reprimand them personally. I would consider it a breach of my privacy, yes, and also unethical. More than unethical, however, it is just not nice to do. I would not care about whether they were banned or not, I would just want to make sure that it never happened again.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
I'd be pretty pissed off. I mean, what right do they have? We have things like wishlists to protect ourselves from having to give out our real name/address/etc. to people online.

I'd probably ask for them to be banned. To me, this is a serious breach of privacy. However, I might be biased, as I have personal experience that makes this scary for me.
07/20/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
1) Freak out!
2) Calm down!
3) Ask them directly why they did it and for an apology.

As far as banning them, is that really effective? Couldn't they just rejoin with a new member name?
07/20/2010
Contributor: Pipedream Products Pipedream Products
I am usually open and use my real name, but if I were in a sitch where I was using an alias and someone outted me... woe... I'd probably be pretty upset. I guess logically one could go the "karma is a bitch so I don't have to be route", but that method is usually really difficult to explain to one's heart.

If someone is doing this for the first time, maybe suspend their account... then ban if it's a recurring issue?

Just this dude's opinion.
07/20/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I'd consider it a breach of privacy. I'd be very pissed and would ask that they be reprimanded. I probably would like it if they were banned, but I'd leave that up to the powers that be.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by Pipedream Products
I am usually open and use my real name, but if I were in a sitch where I was using an alias and someone outted me... woe... I'd probably be pretty upset. I guess logically one could go the "karma is a bitch so I don't have to be ... more
I like your approach to the situation.
07/20/2010
Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Rabid Wombats with sharpened didgeridoos.
Precisely.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Pipedream Products
I am usually open and use my real name, but if I were in a sitch where I was using an alias and someone outted me... woe... I'd probably be pretty upset. I guess logically one could go the "karma is a bitch so I don't have to be ... more
I agree with this. I'm an open type of gal, and use my real name online a lot. It wouldn't be an issue for me. But if I was using an alias, YES I would probably be upset.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Laura Laura
Banned. That is a very basic rule of decorum here and everywhere else, and everyone knows this. It puts users and thus the company at risk.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by kck
Precisely.
*Nods along and pretends like she understood that statement*
07/20/2010
Contributor: Miss B Haven Miss B Haven
I would be very upset and want to confront them in some manner. I think banning them or suspending their account privileges is a fair way to handle something so malicious and rude.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I obviously use my real name online. For me, personally, it wouldn't be an issue as I've already shared that info.

However, for those who use an alias, it is a huge issue.

People have the right to privacy in this sort of situation. Many have a genuine NEED to keep their identities private. Sharing that info without permission is absolutely unethical and a blatant and intentional breach of privacy.

One of our SexIs writers (TBK, of the Whore Journals) recently went thru a lot of shit over having been outted at work. She lost her job over being a sex blogger. No one should have to go thru that. No one should have to worry about whether their info is safe on a site that promises privacy via screen names.

I say account suspension if it's a first offense/breach of code of conduct, banning if it is not.
07/20/2010
Contributor: happeegrl03 happeegrl03
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I obviously use my real name online. For me, personally, it wouldn't be an issue as I've already shared that info.

However, for those who use an alias, it is a huge issue.

People have the right to privacy in this sort of ... more
I second what passionqt said. I wouldn't care that people i know were to find out, i would be most upset by the fact that people from online that i DON'T know might be able to locate me!
07/20/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I use my real name like Carrie Ann and also my real hometown location. So, it wouldn't bother me. It is there for people to find.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
Why would they even do that?

I'd be upset. Not that I really care THAT much about my privacy, since I'm not going to die of shame or lose my job. It's more about the principle that they have no rights to do so.

Some people have seen my name, and some of them have my adress and I usually protect that information even when it's not related to reviewing sex toys.
07/20/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
It would also depend on if the receiver already had access to this information. Then its just moot.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I think it would be a horrible breach of privacy. If a person is using an alias and location statements like "upper midwest" "east coast" etc there is a reason behind it.

If something like that were to happen to me I would feel as if it were a malicious act directly at me. Hmm, I would feel... well. A lot of bad things.

I would probably make sure if it was an accident, see if it had been remedied, etc. However, if someone were to intentionally say, make a post in this forum with my real name, address, phone number, etc and it was obvious it was intentional, I think that at least an account suspension would be in order.

Immediate banning? I dunno. Would depend on the exact situation as to what and how it happened.
07/20/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Back when I was Eliot, I would have been incensed if I discovered someone was revealing my information without my permission. OK, forget the nicety of "incensed," I would've been PISSED. It's a serious breach of privacy and unethical. I'm with Carrie Ann on the punishment: "I say account suspension if it's a first offense/breach of code of conduct, banning if it is not."
07/20/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
I'd be pretty pissed, because it's up to me to decide how much information I want to share on this, or any other site.

If it were an accident, I might be less angry about it, but still. If they only did it once, I would go for the suspension of the account for a few days, weeks, whatever. If it got found out after they had 'outed' multiple people, ban them. If they got caught once, got the suspension, and did it again, they don't deserve the privilege of being able to have an account and should have their IP address blocked.

But that's just me, lol
07/20/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
Since they have my address, I would invite them over for a....talk.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Since they have my address, I would invite them over for a....talk.
LOL!
07/20/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I use my real name, and my real hometown, so that info I wouldn't really care about. If the person outted any info that I don't already share..actual address, phone number, etc. then I'd be pretty ticked off.
07/20/2010
Contributor: seaofneptune seaofneptune
I'd probably be upset, if they know me personally and I let them know about how I also work as a sex toy reviewer - then that means that I trusted them enough with the information now to share it with anyone. I would be even more upset if they were sharing my personal info such as my phone, address, etc.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Since they have my address, I would invite them over for a....talk.
A man after my own heart! I like your style mister!
07/20/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
People don't realize how far reaching and serious the consequences can be for some people, when such things happen. TBK is a perfect example of that. If I were still using an alias, for me it would be an unforgivable breach of trust and not only would I probably end my own association with that person, but I would want it know they were capable of doing such a thing so that others could protect themselves from such a thoughtless or malicious action.

I'd say account suspension if it were the first time anything like this had happened and I would be tempted to also spell out specifically why the person was being suspended.
07/20/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was wondering… what would you do if you found out that someone who knew you ‘in real life’ was sharing you real name and hometown location with several other people in the Eden community, without your permission?

Would you freak out? Would ... more
I use all my reall infom.

Personally ide be irritated that they did that. However I wouldnt be worried or scared. Someone wants to come stock me or something go for it. 24/7 365 ime packing so bring it on. Just rember dont bring a knife to a gun fight.
07/20/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I would be furious.

Why do you ask? Did this happen?
07/20/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
That's a pretty heavy breach of privacy and it can have some pretty serious effects. I, personally, might be a little miffed because I don't want everyone that I associate with online knowing what town I live in. I would probably ask that the person have their account suspended. It should be pretty obvious that that sort of information is not okay for -other- people to disclose online.
07/20/2010