I'm sorry, but just because something is part of someone's "culture" doesn't mean it's right or true. The United States, as well as other countries had slavery and racism as part of it's "culture" for hundreds of years; that didn't make it right or true, just selfish and evil.

As for Girl like a Crystal, if broked can't repaired. (Shows that every one will see the ruin) I don't see having sex as "breaking a woman." If you think like this, is your own wife "broken" after the wedding night? Then what?

"Virginity" is an artificial construct by people who want to completely control the feelings, pleasure and lives of women. It's a totally sexist construct, not to mention the basis of the Sexual Double Standard.

I simply can't agree with you. I KNOW my marriage is better because My Man and I experimented. He never saw me as "broken" because I had sex with other men, he saw it as my gaining more experience which only benefited our relationship in the long run. I learned things in my quest. Those things not only helped me appreciate him more, but it taught me some things to help our lives be better.

Also, I don't want to wake up one day in my 30s or 40s and think, "OMG, what did I miss? What are other men like? Maybe I need to find out!" THIS happens every day with "virgin" marriages (more than men who want or think they are getting "pure" brides realize) and often they never find out how the woman eventually satisfied herself.

Not only that, I learned from my experimentations that My Man is The Best when it comes to sex and everything else. There is no way I could KNOW this, unless I spent time with other men. I would just be guessing. He has NO fear that I will go behind his back to see what other men are like (unless we decide to open our relationship again, with mutual consent) and I have no desire to do that, having already done so when I was younger, before we decided to be monogamous.

Thank GOD I live in a "Culture" that allows me sexual freedom. Otherwise I'd probably end up being shot in the head on some soccer field by the "Purity Police."

I have my freedom and always have had it. I have a man who respects that women are SEXUAL beings and he works hard to keep me satisfied (as I do for him) we both learned from sowing our Wild Oats what was BEST for both of us.

You may find different in your relationship. Good luck to you. I hope, for the sake of your marriage, that it does work out the way you expect. I also hope you respect the fact that your wife is a sexual being and needs variety and experimentation, even if it's just the two of you doing these things. less

Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you? less

Your questions about men verginity are rights, it is the same value also. If he is a virgin then he is a responsible man who respects his future wife and marriage life.

I just want to add:
Virginity is the most important issue in Msn thinking after wedding. Husband will think frequntly: How many men she has slept with? Is she going to enjoy our sex life, or I am going to get worried about other plans by her? Will she repait it?

I know you may reject that thinking because of societies differences, but this thinking is found by 100's millions of people around the world, and we have to respect it. Unless, EF is only made for US citizens.

By the way, I live in Middle East. less

Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you? less

virginity is not a body part, or anything like it. it IS a man-made concept meaning "never having had sex."

if you're speaking of the hymen being broken, this can be (and has been, myself included) done by falling on a horse, a bicycle, or using a tampon. I myself lost my hymen at age 13 after using a tampon for about the 100th time.

The lack of a hymen does not make someone not a virgin. being raped doesn't make someone not a virgin either. it's what it means for you personally. less

No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If Virginity is lost after marriage, the woman will keep proud all her life. Vise versa, losing verginity (by sex) before marriage will make the spirtual feeling falls down, and she will lost the great feeling of virginity. This is what this post about..

Again I wish any one can give me a clear answer for my previous question:
If Virginity has no (values) for human or worths nothing, then: why is Hymen found? less

No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If Virginity is lost after marriage, the woman will keep proud all her life. Vise versa, losing verginity (by sex) before marriage will make the spirtual feeling falls down, and she will lost the great feeling of virginity. This is what this post about..

Again I wish any one can give me a clear answer for my previous question:
If Virginity has no (values) for human or worths nothing, then: why is Hymen found? less

No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If Virginity is lost after marriage, the woman will keep proud all her life. Vise versa, losing verginity (by sex) before marriage will make the spirtual feeling falls down, and she will lost the great feeling of virginity. This is what this post about..

Again I wish any one can give me a clear answer for my previous question:
If Virginity has no (values) for human or worths nothing, then: why is Hymen found? less

Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you? less

Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you? less

Dear P'Gell
All the previous proverbs talk about loosing virginity in other way than marriage. This is just a notice about your comment for Arminian proverb.

About (virginity as an artificial construct),, Is verginity a man made? No,
It has a purpose like any other (sexual) organs in our bodies. So, if it has no (values) or worth nothing, then: why is it there?

Believe me even atheist person will stop a long time to find an answer for this question. Can you? less

Hi Moein,
I do not claim to know for certain why the hymen exists, but I have a hypothesis that is based in evolutionary theory. Here are my thoughts from a scientific perspective (and yes, I am an atheist):

I think that the hymen is just another feature of the (female) human body that still exists because it is evolutionarily beneficial. I think it helps with survival in some way.

How could it help with survival? The hymen is a membrane that acts as a barrier near the opening of the vagina. This membrane could keep out bacteria and debris from a young female's vagina. This would keep the female healthy because there is less chance of infection. Over time as the female matures, the membrane breaks down, whether due to stretching, activity, or penetration. The hymen would break down around the time when the female becomes fertile. At that point there is more benefit to reproducing and furthering the species than there is in keeping infection out.

So, to me, there is no social value in the hymen. It is just another feature of the female human body that helps keep them healthy. less

Hi ~Kris,
It is just an evolutionary prespective without any scientific proofs. Do they have any fossils that prove such story. I am sure not. It is just remind me about the evolutionary myth for breast feeding and milk transformation from (sweat glands)

But lets move the question to more close and accurate point that shows the Value of virginity to girls.

Do girls regret and become sorry after losing virginity before marriage (by sex)?? less

Hi ~Kris,
It is just an evolutionary prespective without any scientific proofs. Do they have any fossils that prove such story. I am sure not. It is just remind me about the evolutionary myth for breast feeding and milk transformation from (sweat glands)

But lets move the question to more close and accurate point that shows the Value of virginity to girls.

Do girls regret and become sorry after losing virginity before marriage (by sex)?? less

I did some research for you because I was tired of looking at this question. There are many hypthesese regarding the function of the human hymen, but first, let me explain the physiology.

Summarized from Hobday et al. 1997:
Male and female reproductive systems are developed from the same embryological precursers, and each part has a homologue in the other sex (Moore and Persaud 1993). Human male and female genatalia are the same at 5-6 weeks of development (Katchadorian 1990), but around 4 months, under the exposure of androgens, male genitals become markedly distinguishable from female genitals. Until late in the female fetus' life, the lumen of the vagina is separate from the cavity of the urogenital sinus by the hymen. During the perinatal period it ruptures and remains as a fold of mucus membrane around the entrance of the vagina. When the inferior end of the vagina does not perforate, a blockage results, and the condition is known as "imperforate hymen" (Moore and Persaud 1993). In normal human infants, the hyman remains as a membranous partition of variable shape and size and is occasionally lacking.

However, why does it still exist? Although all have (sometimes glaring) flaws, the current hypotheses are:

1) Sexual selection by males (Smith 1984).
2) As humans have an acquatic past, the hymen may have evolved to protect vagina from marine pollution (Morgan 1972). (unlikely)
3) A structure to increase the retention of sperm and raise fertilization success. (unlikely)
4) An embryological structure that has merely been retained into the juvenile period (Hobday et al 1997). (the most supported)

The support for number 4:
The change to upright posture and reduction in size of the birth canal in hominids led to a shorter gestation period (Trinkaus 1985). Following this change to "premature" bith, the hymen remained in newborns, and natural selection extended the persistence of this structure into childhood and beyond. With the greater helplessness of human infants relative to other great apes (Fisher 1982), infection due to inability to clean the vaginal area may have been a significant cause of mortality. Thus, any structure that limited fecal or other material from entering the vagina would be favored by natural selection.

Literature Cited:
Katchadorian, H. A. Biological aspects of human sexuality, 4th edn. Fort Worth, Texas; Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1990:453.
Moore, K. L, Persaud, T. V. N. The developing human: clinically oriented embryology, 5th edn. Philadelphia; Saunders, 1993.
Trinkaus, E. On the Neandertal pubis and acromegaly: Reply to F. Icanhoe. Curr Anthrop 1985; 26: 536-529
Fisher, H. E. The sex contract: the evolution of human behavior, New York: William Morrow, 1982.
Hobday, A. J., Haury, L., Dayton, P. K. Function of the human hymen.
Medical Hypotheses, 1997: 171-173.
Morgan, E. The descent of woman. New York: Stein and Day, 1972.
Smith, R. L. Human sperm competition. In: Smith, R. L., ed. Sperm competition and the evolution of animal mating systems. New York: Academic Press; 1984: 601-659. less

No No No, it is clear that when we talk about losing verginity before marriage is only by (sex), even by sex toy, finger play, or due to intercourse, because virginity is a visical+spirtual combination, and you can't separate them.

If Virginity is lost after marriage, the woman will keep proud all her life. Vise versa, losing verginity (by sex) before marriage will make the spirtual feeling falls down, and she will lost the great feeling of virginity. This is what this post about..

Again I wish any one can give me a clear answer for my previous question:
If Virginity has no (values) for human or worths nothing, then: why is Hymen found? less

In the modern era, do you think there is a legitimate "value" to virginity? There's often talk of "saving" one's virginity for someone you love,but what is being saved? The first time may be painful for the woman and that's not an association I would want, pain=me. Further there's supposedly shame and regret after losing one's virginity. Regret for what? If it's having sex with someone too soon that's understandable, but that anxiety might remain in the next relationship, even though his or her virginity is no more.

Of course there's always the "accomplishment" of "taking" another's virginity, but again, why? It stands to reason that a virgin isn't as good at sex as someone more experienced (although this may not always be the case) so good sex isn't the "reward." Is it supposed to signify purity? aside from potential STD's, which has more to do with partners and possible lack of protection, I don't see how virginity is all that "pure." These are just my opinions, but it seems like we put far too much emphasis into virginity. less

In the modern era, do you think there is a legitimate "value" to virginity? There's often talk of "saving" one's virginity for someone you love,but what is being saved? The first time may be painful for the woman and that's not an association I would want, pain=me. Further there's supposedly shame and regret after losing one's virginity. Regret for what? If it's having sex with someone too soon that's understandable, but that anxiety might remain in the next relationship, even though his or her virginity is no more.

Of course there's always the "accomplishment" of "taking" another's virginity, but again, why? It stands to reason that a virgin isn't as good at sex as someone more experienced (although this may not always be the case) so good sex isn't the "reward." Is it supposed to signify purity? aside from potential STD's, which has more to do with partners and possible lack of protection, I don't see how virginity is all that "pure." These are just my opinions, but it seems like we put far too much emphasis into virginity. less