The New Intimacy

Things You Would Never Hear or Say if You Didn't Review Sex Toys

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Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"Hey, mom, I'm bringing Devon over to show him my new shoes. Can you make sure there are no dicks laying out?"

(My son is nearly 18 and has absolutely no issues with seeing the occasional new product laying on my desk, fresh out ... more
That is hilarious!
09/09/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
I'm still getting started and hubby is away on business so unfortunately I don't have anything good to add! I'm LOVING reading all these though! Maybe eventually I will have something to add to this thread!
09/09/2010
Contributor: Liz Liz
"Anyone looking under your bed would think you lead a secret life as a high-class hooker."

And, my all-time favorite, in the form of a note on my bedroom door:

"Sweetie-- the priest is coming over to bless the house. Please hide the dildos."
09/09/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
"Dude, it looks like the baby from Eraserhead."

(In reference to my Fun Factory DeLight...I don't see the resemblance even a little...)
09/09/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I wonder how many did the same?


"Your going to put that where?"

(Wife says to me after showing her the Pure wand I ordered for my self.)
(update later in the day)
"What? it's out of stock...wheres that lube, I'm going to burn something". ~devilish laugh~
09/09/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
"Dude, it looks like the baby from Eraserhead."

(In reference to my Fun Factory DeLight...I don't see the resemblance even a little...)
*blink*


I...

It...

WHAT?
09/09/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
A very serious Sigel tells me the other day on Skype, "I get to have sex with you at least one night when you get home or I hide all the toys!" I have 3-4 boxes of toys waiting for me at home and he is worried the toys will get all my time LOL.


Also Sigel: "You owe me BIG time and by big time I mean FUCKING big time for that last toy review...."
09/09/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Me to my husband: "About how many time do you think you've used it?" (In reference to both his Tenga Flip Hole and his Vibratex Maven).

My husband: "Oh, I don't know . . . about three times . . .? "

Me: "No, you've used it more than that. Think hard. People will want to know how many uses you got out of it. You need to keep a chart for both of them with tally marks for each use!"
09/10/2010
Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
Me to my husband: "About how many time do you think you've used it?" (In reference to both his Tenga Flip Hole and his Vibratex Maven).

My husband: "Oh, I don't know . . . about three times . . .? "

Me: ... more
LMAO all in the name of a thorough review!
09/10/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"Hey, mom, I'm bringing Devon over to show him my new shoes. Can you make sure there are no dicks laying out?"

(My son is nearly 18 and has absolutely no issues with seeing the occasional new product laying on my desk, fresh out ... more
Your son is awesome.
09/10/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
"Oh, I was wondering what that smell was" from my fiance in reference to the 9 inch long sil-a-gel dildo I had suction cupped to the wall after cleaning it. He didn't even notice it was there until I moved it to a different wall. Then ... more
Hey, I'm not the only one who suctions dildos to walls! I love doing that.
09/10/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Hey, I'm not the only one who suctions dildos to walls! I love doing that.
I have one with a suction cup, but the suction cup doesn't really work, so I can't stick it to things. It's just bad quality.
09/10/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
"I gotta stop requesting stuff with sil-a-gel - my room's going to smell like a Strawberry Shortcake doll."
09/10/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Hey, I'm not the only one who suctions dildos to walls! I love doing that.
Since I love messing with my sister and leaving some of these toys out for her to find, I really wanted to suction cup it to like, the bathroom mirror. But she left for school 3 days before I got it, so I had to settle for sending her a picture, to which she says she rolled her eyes, lol
09/13/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
"No, no...not the total length, the insertable length!"
09/13/2010