The New Intimacy

Teenagers having sex.........for the parents

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Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I know a girl who started dating a guy when she was 15ish, that she knew since she was a baby girl. There relationship is over now but it lasted quite some time and it was a serious relationship. Her mother talked to her about sexuality and she had a green light to do what she wanted and if she had any questions she could ask her mom. They were both virgin (I assume) so I dont know that they used condoms except as a preventive measure against Pregnancy and she was on the pill.

I guesss if she had a boyfriend and I saw the relationship and how it was going, I might consider talking to her about what she should should not do. But really kids do what they want to do. We can just do our best to help them out the way parents can.
09/07/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Teens are crafty AND horny. You can't prevent them from having sex, if they really want to. You can talk to them about appropriate partner choice, about birth control, about using condoms, you can even say, "Hey, if you are even thinking ... more
Personally I guess I sort of see it as I will always be there for my kids when I have kids weather they do good or bad and I will always proudly stand by there side.


on the other hand my other sister was at a party the night of homecoming with her boyfriend and then once some people there started to do some not so smart things she had the brains to call me and be like hay pick me up I had no problem with those two hanging out that night when the excuse that she felt like a ice cream from a icecream store so they were gonna walk there(probably 10 miles there) I just told her to do her thing in her room and not go in some parking lot or something(did I feel comfortable with that decision no but I know that shes in a good relationship, makes pretty good choices and well being her age ide be doing the same and then some and i have to stay realistic with her and not expect her to even kiss till her wedding)then it was sorta funny how she said that they were gona go get condoms and go out back in the barn(weve got a barn were our horses are). Needless to say she walked back in her room were her boyfriend was watching tv and she majicaly took condoms out of her little(not me but my other sister)sisters room. Did I lay in bed hereing her every few minutes thinking I want to go cut his hands and tounge off deffintly but I just sort of kept turning my tv up louder and louder.....later in the middle of the night she txt me and is like um maybe another condom and i couldnt help but laugh and say ok.....she came in my room to get it and as i was going in my drawer shes like you dont have flavored condoms do you, I laughed and said something and then go is flavored lube is ausomer I noticed I had a bottle I didnt open yet and like here hope he likes strawbery, and same with that clit sensitizing gel the first time. The next morning after he left(i miss the nights ide stay up all night and watch tv with my boyfriend)we just sorta joked and she well lets say I didnt need to know every detail while we were eating breakfeast. Could of they had vaginal sex yes, would she here a few things she wouldnt like to here yes but over the years shes learned what to and not to do and that theres a thin line you cross if you have vaginal sex. Shes had sex with her boyfriend before, and I made it clear weather or not you use a condom and are on birthcontrol your just not gona be having sex cause its something that I dont want you to risk, or something that you will regret later on in life and it was a while until she she saw him again outside of school, and even in school with her your able to let her know and she seems to be more affected by words and her being upset about it then me punishing her.

with that said its yeh, i dont mind saying yeh use a condom use lube if you want

And the boundries are clear with them, you dont sretch them and you dont try to stretch them. Ive told em do anything you want as long as hes not having sex with you vaginally. Also about who, as your not gona get a reputaion of slut because your not in a healthy relationship
09/07/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I didn't vote. There's a huge chasm between being 15 and 18. Things that are OK at 18 are not at 15. It's a continuum - there are no easy answers. I never told my daughter what she could do - but we continually emphasized responsible behavior and trusted her to translate that into appropriate behavior.
02/22/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
Some kids are going to have sex no matter what - it's best the understand the potential risks of what you're getting into! Abstinence only education is just about the worst thing ever.
02/22/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I think you just need to be honest and open with them. If you show them respect, they'll do likewise.
02/22/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
I'd let them do whatever they want, that's what I'd expect if I was 15 again. 15+ having regular sex is the way it is now anyways, accept it^^. Under that, I'm not sure..
04/27/2011
Contributor: kittychilla kittychilla
i don't have any children yet, (and if i did, they would be no where near their teenage years ) but when i do, i plan to be open with them and let them know that if they decide to have sex they should be safe.


though, i really would rather them wait until they find the right partner before they go any further. there's always toys to relieve sexual needs, right?
05/26/2011
Contributor: Inwitari Inwitari
They could have sex, as long as they are protected (her on the pill or iud and use condoms). I would make damn sure my child knows the consequences of her/his actions and the possibility of pregnancy. Anyhow- I am a firm believer that teens will have sex whether you want them to or not, might as well arm them with the knowledge and power to protect themselves.
05/26/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I wouldn't try to stop my kids from experiencing relationships, I wouldn't say much about kissing at all, but holy hell I raise my kids with MORALS. I will NOT disown my morals and values just to bury my head in the sand and LET THEM have sex, catch STD'S, get pregnant, disrespect their bodies, etc. My parents discussed sex regularly with me. Not in deep detail about what's fun or anything like that, but we talked about it. I do the same with mine. We have a very open relationship and they know how I feel. There's no way I'm going to sit by and NOT care about my children and just let them have sex or worse, ALLOW them to without at least saying I prefer you don't. Of course they know they can tell me if they do and I will make sure they have the protection neccessary. Sitting by and not saying a word when you know they're doing it, you might as well say "Have lots of sex, kids!" That is stupid and we need to grow up and be real parents, be role models. Since when did our teens start having the upper hand?

If I know my kids are doing it, I will talk with them. I will let them know that they SHOULD wait and I'd prefer them to. However, a parent can teach their kids morals and all while still providing them with the means to protect. I say, if you're going to go against me and do it then let me help you to be smart and safe, but I prefer you not. I would never condone it! We should be fully aware of what all gets involved when kids have sex. Why would anyone in their right mind say "ok, go ahead." why would any parent not say something? Anything?

I don't believe in burying your head in the sand. It's a parent's job to face even the hard stuff, if you can't even talk about sex with your kid then you don't need kids! I would never just allow my kids to do anythign besides kiss. Besides, my kids would NEVER disrespect me so much as to have sex in my house or do anything like it in my house. Parents ARE allowed to discipline kids. Did we forget that? I mean what parent would condone their kids risking their lives for an orgasm? WOW! That would blow my mind.
05/26/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
In some states that is called statutory rape and it's fucking illegal and the fucking parents would be in jail if they helped or assisted this in any way.

This is disgusting.
Totally 100% agree! Very much so! It is illegal in many states and thank God for that! There is a reason for it.
05/26/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I thought I'd add a little something:

When I was a teen and going out with boys, my mom and dad always knew where I was and had a set time that I needed to be home. I followed that rule. They made it clear that they didn't like sex at a young age and I totally respected that. They never were extremely strict, but had enough firmness and talked about it enough.

Now there's a girl I went to school with who's mother allowed her to live with her boyfriend and when she'd come home her mother would actually put her fingers in the girl's underwear to "see if she'd had sex!" That was just totally stupid and nasty to me. You're either ok with it or your not. I don't think it's ok to ever touch you child like that! I would have serious issues if my mom had done me that way. My point is, the girl was VERY premiscuous and still is. Hmmmm.... Maybe mommy should've made it more clear what she was ok with and what she wasn't. You can't say go ahead and live with your 14 yr old boyfriend then finger your daughter when she comes home every weekend!
05/26/2011
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
My parents had a rule, as long as you lived with them you better not come home with anything, be it STD or Child. I respected that and waited till after I'd moved out.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by usmcwife99
Ok, so heres a intresting one.......

I think we all know most teens are having sex, or sexually active in some sort of way

The better question is if you were a parent and your teenager(lets say anywere from 15 to 18) was in a HEALTYHY ... more
AUSOMING?
12/28/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
First, you can't stop them. But because I was properly taught safe ways to do be sexual, and I think as long as they have been properly taught all the right info, it's there life to do what they want. If they are going to be having sex though, I will provide birth control.
12/28/2011
Contributor: TheSlyFox TheSlyFox
As long as my child was protected, it really wouldn't matter to me-It's not like i can lock them in their room and keep them that way, anyways.
12/29/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I'm not a parent, but my mom and I had a talk about how "Abstinence is Always the Answer" was total bullshit. It was a topic for a paper in school and how if our friend came to us saying they were considering having sex, how we would tell them to abstain.

LOLZ

I refuted the thesis and still got an A.

If I had a child ever, I think it would be very subjective, but I'm not going to pretend I could actually control other human beings. I would talk to them and be honest and give them information and my opinion and experiences, but I can't decide for them who they are going to be.
12/29/2011