Sex and Self-Esteem

Contributor: Elaira Elaira
I get frustrated when I can't please my lover. When I was the first person to ever get him off from oral, though, I felt like the most awesome person ever.
08/30/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I like to please my partner in bed. It's a big ego boost. But if I don't it won't knock my self esteem - okay, sometimes a little, but that's mainly because there's something else on my mind at the time and I just see it as another thing to get upset about - but mainly I just see it as an excuse to have another crack at it.
08/31/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
If he wasn't satisfied with me being me then I would consider that his problem, not mine. I haven't ever "failed" to please him, but I certainly wouldn't count strikes against myself if I'm not perfect.
08/31/2011
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Do you think that your ability to please someone sexually is a major component of your individual self-esteem or self worth?

(Private voting)
My ex stopped being interested in sex, and over time, it devastated my self-esteem. I felt unwanted and undesirable. I really think this will eventually happen to anyone, male or female, if they still have a libido, and their partner provides minimal sexual attention whilst still expecting monogamy.
08/31/2011
Contributor: Pandahb Pandahb
It's important to me. I feel good when I get my man off.
09/02/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
It's really important to me that my fiancee cums. It's more important than me cumming myself!
09/02/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Absolutely... I'm a giver. He pleases me no matter what so I try to do the same for him. Neither of us has ever shared the amount of pleasure we give each other with any one else. It's like we just chemically connect, we always have.
09/03/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
I give full focus to whomever I am with. But then I usually feel bad if I wasn't good enough, or feel bad over how I usually cannot be pleasured back. It seems no one can get me off, I can never get comfortable, but have no problems masturbating. So guys tend to get turned off around me usually because while i can be good to take care of them, since they can't do it back they get rather miffed and lose interest in me, which hurts as I don't consciously try to be this way. Coupled with a low sex drive it makes things difficult in the dating field.
09/03/2011
Contributor: Sunshineamine Sunshineamine
I love making my partner cum and I take pride in being able to rock his world. Its a turn on for me and makes me happy. I would say if I had trouble doing this it would affect my self esteem.
09/03/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
Of course when my husband tells me I'm the best he's had, that makes my self esteem sky rocket!
10/07/2011
Contributor: livingadnauseum livingadnauseum
Personally, I think sex is a lot about the give and take. Even taking sex out of the context of a loving relationship? I'd like to be able to perform well and have a one night stand leave being impressed with my prowess than being that one story s/he tells his/her friends with a cringe and a squirmy feeling of displeasure.

I think, though, that has a lot more to do with my pride than my self-esteem.
10/07/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Yes. If I was completely incapable of satisfying my partner(s) sexually I'd feel pretty bad about myself.
10/07/2011
Contributor: MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
I like to please and feel better about myself when I do!
10/08/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
I would find it upsetting if I couldn't satisfy a partner, but I wouldn't take it as something against my self-esteem. I'm still me, if me and someone don't mesh sexually, it is what it is.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
Oh yeah, it is huge to know that you can please your partner.
10/09/2011
Contributor: arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
I think it would be insulting if my husband compained about my "skills" in the bedroom. I would feel like all I am to him is a place (not a loving partner) for sexual release and if he has a bad spell, oh well. However, if there is something he doesn't like or something he wants, I am cool with that.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Bleu Bleu
I do think being able to please my partner is VERY important. I'm ALWAYS up for criticisms and advice...I do all I can to please my boyfriend when we do meet because I can't practice tons before the main event.

My self esteem is heavily tied to being able to please my partner. My boyfriend's doesn't seem to be...
02/21/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Do you think that your ability to please someone sexually is a major component of your individual self-esteem or self worth?

(Private voting)
Yes - Being able to please a partner is truly important and therefore part of my self esteem
02/21/2013
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
Sure, it's a part of it. Not a huge part, though.
02/22/2013
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I don't need it to have self esteem, but succeeding makes me feel good
02/22/2013
Contributor: Living Doll Living Doll
Being able to make my partner feel good makes me feel good.
02/22/2013