All your feelings are normal. You had your child inside you. You loved your baby very much, even tho you couldn't feel your baby yet, you knew he/she was there. You will get through it but you'll never forget it. It was a life you loved.
I had a miscarriage.. I guess that is how life is.
06/01/2012
What ever you feel is normal. I am sorry for your loss. I hope in time you will get past the emotions. But it takes time and you take all the time you need to get over it.
06/01/2012
You know I love you and my inbox is always open to your messages. I know exactly how you feel right now. If you need me get a hold of me.
06/01/2012
...wow, that just plain sucks. ='<
You can always try again when both of you are ready to though. Kind of sad to get such good news, to know there's a tiny person growing inside you and then have to it taken away so quickly.
You can always try again when both of you are ready to though. Kind of sad to get such good news, to know there's a tiny person growing inside you and then have to it taken away so quickly.
06/01/2012
I completely agree with Ryuson. That first baby will always be an amazing memory because of those first feelings of love, and a traumatic memory because of the last feelings you had about it. But you've got to keep trying, and you may not be ready to right away. It may take a year. It may take two, or three before you feel ready to possibly experience the same pain again, but you'll eventually get there and it'll take what it takes to form the family you want so much. I hope the best for this situation and that you heal quickly and smoothly so you can have the happiness you need and deserve without this painful grey cloud raining on the parade. My mother had a miscarriage before me, and two of my friends just had one in the same week. They're surrounding me lately and I can tell you from my experience that everything you're feeling is completely normal, and not at all off-key. You have every right to be confused, angry, resentful, hurt, and feeling like you deserved your child you didn't even get a chance to know. No matter what the reason you didn't get the chance to, another reason will pop up for you to be ready to try again and put your best foot forward and do what you have to to start your little family. Best luck and wishes, and again.. I'm sorry you ever had to experience that amount of pain.
06/01/2012
Quote:
Thank you. She would be 13 this year. It was a long grieving process and I still think of her, love and miss her dearly, and the memories but, it's easier to talk about now. She was in NICU the entire time.
Originally posted by
LusciousLollypop
I'm so sorry for your loss. Two months old? I would have never recovered from that. I am ALWAYS around if you need to talk.
06/01/2012
So sorry to hear this. I don't have any first hand knowledge of what you are going through but I do know it is normal to grieve for the loss of an unborn baby. You will never forget it but you will get through it and it will get easier. I have sat here and cried reading the posts and please know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..and NEVER blame yourself for this happening. God doesn't make mistakes and there was a reason for this and it may be years or never before you know the reason. Here if there is anything I can do for you!
06/01/2012
I'm terribly sorry for your loss, all I can offer is a big hug.
06/01/2012
I'm so saddened and sorry for you. My heart goes out to you.
My mum had several miscarriages after I was born, and before my sisters (11 & 13 years younger). I was pretty young, of course, but I remember being upset because I wanted a little brother or sister so bad - and though I couldn't understand, I had a sense mum was going through a bad time and I felt horrible for her. The way she tried to explain to me - and maybe how she felt herself - was that these things happen for a reason. She said that something must have been wrong with her pregnancy and as horrible as it seems, a miscarriage is nature's (or God's, if you believe) way of preventing an even greater tragedy had it not happened. She told me sometimes the best outcome is the one that makes you cry the least.
Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal. You have to grieve; it's part of the healing process. As with any loss, and as others have said, you will always remember, but it will get easier, and things will get better. Don't question your feelings or gauge your situation by others. Your feelings are pure, they are yours, and they are part of your healing process.
My mum had several miscarriages after I was born, and before my sisters (11 & 13 years younger). I was pretty young, of course, but I remember being upset because I wanted a little brother or sister so bad - and though I couldn't understand, I had a sense mum was going through a bad time and I felt horrible for her. The way she tried to explain to me - and maybe how she felt herself - was that these things happen for a reason. She said that something must have been wrong with her pregnancy and as horrible as it seems, a miscarriage is nature's (or God's, if you believe) way of preventing an even greater tragedy had it not happened. She told me sometimes the best outcome is the one that makes you cry the least.
Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal. You have to grieve; it's part of the healing process. As with any loss, and as others have said, you will always remember, but it will get easier, and things will get better. Don't question your feelings or gauge your situation by others. Your feelings are pure, they are yours, and they are part of your healing process.
06/01/2012
Sending you lots of hugs, and positive thoughts.
06/01/2012
Wish words could help but they are never really enough in such difficult circumstances. Healing comes with time and being able to express and share your feelings with the right people. I hope you have these people in your life and I wish you the very best.
06/01/2012
I wish I knew something to say that would make you feel better, but since I have been in a similar place myself in the past, I know there is nothing anyone can say that really makes the hurt and less!!!!
I am sending lots of hugs, and positive thoughts your way, and if you ever need to chat, message me!!!!!
I am sending lots of hugs, and positive thoughts your way, and if you ever need to chat, message me!!!!!
06/01/2012
I've been through that before, was also 6 weeks pregnant.
My husband (at the time) and I weren't trying. I had been having weird periods and sometimes not at all. I had a 5 month old daughter that I was breastfeeding, so it was normal to not have my period be "normal". I had been feeling really sick, I KNEW it was morning sickness, 'cause nothing else in the world feels like that. I had a doctor's appointment to go to the following day and I figured that I would let them do a pregnancy test while I was there so that I would know. It came back positive, which I knew it would, and I had such mixed feelings about it. I had a little baby and I was pregnant again. I was scared but excited! All I've ever wanted in life was to be a mom, and this was going to be my second blessing! The next morning I woke up feeling crampy. I got up and when I went to the bathroom there was this huge gush. I knew that I hadn't peed yet, and I looked in the toilet and saw that it was blood, and a lot of it. I was so scared! We went to the ER and proceeded to wait for 4 hours before I was seen. All I could think was that my baby was dying while I was having to wait. No one seemed busy and I was so angry! Once they finally got me in, they looked inside me and saw that my cervix was fully open. They wrote on my paper work, "Possible first trimester miscarriage". That made it hurt even worse. This being was growing inside of me. I felt so empty and didn't understand why I couldn't contain this child. It took a long time to come to terms with it. I had no idea how many people have experienced a miscarriage until I had been through mine. It blew me away! It's way more common than I had realized and though it broke my heart to think of all these other women going through the same things, it also gave me peace of mind, I wasn't alone in this and chances are, this wasn't my fault. I feel like I had a child that was far too special to be in this world. My child was born, not to be raised and held, but to be a teacher. To show me to live every day like it's my last, to hold on to those that I love that much tighter. I was taught that there's beauty even in the pain and that maybe my experiences will help someone else through theirs. I know that you're greiving, you should, it's important! But know that you're not alone. Don't give up trying, don't give up hoping and believing. Your baby didn't die, your baby was made for something so much greater than this world!!! (((HUGE HUGS)))
My husband (at the time) and I weren't trying. I had been having weird periods and sometimes not at all. I had a 5 month old daughter that I was breastfeeding, so it was normal to not have my period be "normal". I had been feeling really sick, I KNEW it was morning sickness, 'cause nothing else in the world feels like that. I had a doctor's appointment to go to the following day and I figured that I would let them do a pregnancy test while I was there so that I would know. It came back positive, which I knew it would, and I had such mixed feelings about it. I had a little baby and I was pregnant again. I was scared but excited! All I've ever wanted in life was to be a mom, and this was going to be my second blessing! The next morning I woke up feeling crampy. I got up and when I went to the bathroom there was this huge gush. I knew that I hadn't peed yet, and I looked in the toilet and saw that it was blood, and a lot of it. I was so scared! We went to the ER and proceeded to wait for 4 hours before I was seen. All I could think was that my baby was dying while I was having to wait. No one seemed busy and I was so angry! Once they finally got me in, they looked inside me and saw that my cervix was fully open. They wrote on my paper work, "Possible first trimester miscarriage". That made it hurt even worse. This being was growing inside of me. I felt so empty and didn't understand why I couldn't contain this child. It took a long time to come to terms with it. I had no idea how many people have experienced a miscarriage until I had been through mine. It blew me away! It's way more common than I had realized and though it broke my heart to think of all these other women going through the same things, it also gave me peace of mind, I wasn't alone in this and chances are, this wasn't my fault. I feel like I had a child that was far too special to be in this world. My child was born, not to be raised and held, but to be a teacher. To show me to live every day like it's my last, to hold on to those that I love that much tighter. I was taught that there's beauty even in the pain and that maybe my experiences will help someone else through theirs. I know that you're greiving, you should, it's important! But know that you're not alone. Don't give up trying, don't give up hoping and believing. Your baby didn't die, your baby was made for something so much greater than this world!!! (((HUGE HUGS)))
06/02/2012
I'm so sorry!!! I will share one thing that one of my professors told us about: She said that some of the baby's DNA is actually released in to the mother's blood, and will STILL be there, even if the mother miscarries. So, no matter what, a part of your baby will always be with you. Big hug!!!
06/02/2012
You're in my thoughts and prayers and if you need me, I'll be here for you.
06/02/2012
Quote:
wow hun i'm so sorry! i'm praying for you.i can't imagine what you're going through. if you need to talk, message me
Originally posted by
LusciousLollypop
My hands want to type something profound but my brain isn't letting it.
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't ... more
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't ... more
My hands want to type something profound but my brain isn't letting it.
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't share their good fortune till at least the 12th week.
I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I will try my best.
They recently took me off my many medications because it was bad for the baby, so my doctor said that we didn't even have time to wean me off.. just stop them. It made me kinda go crazy. Having severe depression, extreme social and general anxiety, multiple panic attacks each day, fainting, and insomnia issues.. going off these medications cold turkey really messed with my body and mind.
A few days ago, I had a lot of heavy bleeding. I had read that pregnant woman may have their periods during pregnancy (very small percentage) and I just thought that I had started my period and was part of the very small and unlucky few.
Then the pain came. I started fainting repeatedly. I was in so much pain that I literally started crying and shaking. Sharp pains. Lots of them, for hours. Something was wrong. This wasn't menstrual cramps anymore, this was full blown pain.
Boyfriend rushed me to the ER. I don't really remember my visit at the ER, but I'll tell you what I know. I heard "it is in danger" "what should we do" "it cannot survive" "we need to take it out" I remember I was so angry that they kept calling my baby.. "it". I'm fully aware that I was only 6 almost 7 weeks along.. but my baby is definitely not an "it".
Then I remember waking up.. and I didn't have a baby anymore, growing inside of me. It was gone. I knew instantly that it was gone. I cried. A lot. I've been crying. I keep on getting these lovely messages and wall posts about websites and what to do when you are pregnant ect ect, and I am so thankful for the people who PM'd me and posted it across my Wall.
I just can't deal with that anymore and needed to announce this. It is good to talk about things and get support.. or so says my therapist. I need to heal. I need to find my mind and not go crazy when I see a baby on TV. I need to stop dreaming.
I need words of wisdom. I need stories. I need you to comfort me and I need you to tell me that these things just happen. I need a lot right now and I can't seem to not be broken hearted about this.
Is it normal to be this upset..? Is it normal to love something so much already even though I barely just knew about him/her? Is it normal to classify this as a traumatic moment in my life? I know how common it is for women to miscarry.
How do I get through something like this? Am I going to get through this at all in one piece?
(thank you to Beck and Kira for talking to me the last couple of days, you are both incredibly amazing and I don't know how insane I would have got without you two, those were lovely gifts.) less
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't share their good fortune till at least the 12th week.
I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I will try my best.
They recently took me off my many medications because it was bad for the baby, so my doctor said that we didn't even have time to wean me off.. just stop them. It made me kinda go crazy. Having severe depression, extreme social and general anxiety, multiple panic attacks each day, fainting, and insomnia issues.. going off these medications cold turkey really messed with my body and mind.
A few days ago, I had a lot of heavy bleeding. I had read that pregnant woman may have their periods during pregnancy (very small percentage) and I just thought that I had started my period and was part of the very small and unlucky few.
Then the pain came. I started fainting repeatedly. I was in so much pain that I literally started crying and shaking. Sharp pains. Lots of them, for hours. Something was wrong. This wasn't menstrual cramps anymore, this was full blown pain.
Boyfriend rushed me to the ER. I don't really remember my visit at the ER, but I'll tell you what I know. I heard "it is in danger" "what should we do" "it cannot survive" "we need to take it out" I remember I was so angry that they kept calling my baby.. "it". I'm fully aware that I was only 6 almost 7 weeks along.. but my baby is definitely not an "it".
Then I remember waking up.. and I didn't have a baby anymore, growing inside of me. It was gone. I knew instantly that it was gone. I cried. A lot. I've been crying. I keep on getting these lovely messages and wall posts about websites and what to do when you are pregnant ect ect, and I am so thankful for the people who PM'd me and posted it across my Wall.
I just can't deal with that anymore and needed to announce this. It is good to talk about things and get support.. or so says my therapist. I need to heal. I need to find my mind and not go crazy when I see a baby on TV. I need to stop dreaming.
I need words of wisdom. I need stories. I need you to comfort me and I need you to tell me that these things just happen. I need a lot right now and I can't seem to not be broken hearted about this.
Is it normal to be this upset..? Is it normal to love something so much already even though I barely just knew about him/her? Is it normal to classify this as a traumatic moment in my life? I know how common it is for women to miscarry.
How do I get through something like this? Am I going to get through this at all in one piece?
(thank you to Beck and Kira for talking to me the last couple of days, you are both incredibly amazing and I don't know how insane I would have got without you two, those were lovely gifts.) less
06/02/2012
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you, chica. I've had two miscarriages in two years, and while it doesn't stop hurting or being unfair, the pain does lessen over time. *hugs* Please feel free to PM me if you want or need someone to talk to.
06/02/2012
I am very very very sorry and sad to read this. But I do have one thing to say. You are completely normal for wanting to cry and grieve. That was your baby, and you have every right to feel as you do. I hope things get easier for you sweetie.. I really do.
(((((HUGS)))))
(((((HUGS)))))
06/02/2012
Honey, I'm so so sorry. I PMed you. I've been worried about you.
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months old. My periods were not regular, as my dd had just stopped nursing. I hadn't felt well, and we actually couldn't afford a pregnancy test, so I just went to my OB (who, in those days was "free" because we had MUCH better insurance than we have now) I had been bleeding for 10 days, but the nurse didn't know that and came in all sunny and "congratulations, you're pregnant." I started to cry, because she didn't remember I had said I was bleeding for over a week, off an on.
My OB said nothing could be done then, he didn't want to do an ultrasound. He sent me home with his home phone number, with a diagnosis of "threatened abortion." (Meaning miscarriage, but in medicine "abortion" simply means pregnancy which ends before delivery of a life baby, no matter what the cause.)
The next day I woke up and got my toddler breakfast, and when I went to the bathroom, I heard something hit the water. I closed the toilet and continued to make her breakfast. I got her settled with Sesame Street and went up to look. Most of the pregnancy was in the toilet. I tried to pick it up, but it was like wet Kleenex. Just a mass of pink and grey... stuff. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing looked like "a baby." It was just tissue and a lot of blood.
Without thinking I flushed it. I called my husband to come home. I called the woman I did day care for to tell her I couldn't watch her kids and why, she cried with me. Then I called my doctor and he said he'd meet me at the hospital.
We got there and they hooked me up to an IV. I had an ultrasound and they said "Nothing that looks like a viable pregnancy is in there. Just tissue floating around." As there was still tissue, they scheduled a D&C and put me on Pitocin to help the rest of the pregnancy come out.
While we were waiting to have the D&C (because I had eaten breakfast, we had to wait a hours) I passed what was probably the rest of the pregnancy in the toilet. I called the nurse, as I KNEW they needed to collect the tissue. She went, "EW." and flushed it. Stupid Day Surgery Nurses, they weren't used to OB issues and she was clueless. (As a result, I had to have two or three blood tests a week to make sure my HCG levels were dropping, because otherwise it could have been an ectopic pregnancy, as almost no tissue was extracted during the D&C. I was fine, I had passed most of it myself. The next time I miscarried, I just stayed home, (as I wasn't in danger) and passed it in 3 days. I had my nursing education by then, so I knew the danger signs, and there weren't any with this second one.)
I had the D&C, and woke up crying for my baby. The nurse tried to calm me down and said, "Honey, you had an incomplete abortion and we had to make sure you didn't bleed to death." Now, in medical parlance, "incomplete abortion" means what lay people would call "incomplete miscarriage." I knew what she meant, but the stupid NUN who was having cataract surgery and in Recovery right next to me starting giving me the Stink Eye, and then so did all the women who were with her. STUPID CLUELESS intolerant, ignorant, uneducated bitches!
I went home and had a hard time breathing from the tube they had inserted into my throat while I was out, during the procedure. My little girl couldn't understand why I couldn't get up, and I just cried and cried.
I recovered quickly. My OB said, "We know you're fertile, really fertile. PLEASE wait a few months." I said OK. I was prengnat after one normal period! I had my sweet middle child although I was terrified I'd lose her until about 14 weeks, then I went into preterm labor and spent the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest. She was born healthy and hearty, nursed with NO trouble and is a beautiful, smart and funny young adult now.
Honey, I KNOW it hurts. It hurt like hell. Like we both said before, IT SUCKS. Your boyfriend will recover emotionally before you will, that's a given. My husband couldn't understand why I was still crying a month later. I cried on the due date, despite the fact that I was 8 months pregnant with my healthy baby.
Take some time for yourself. Don't expect the boyfriend to totally understand. He may be upset, but he doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant, even for a short time. I even think it's healthy that they recover before we do, because someone needs to be strong faster.
It will get better, but take care of yourself now.
DON'T try to get pregnant again for at least a few periods. And my guess is that your meds had nothing do do with it. Nearly half of pregnancies end in miscarriage (and NO that won't help you feel better, I know that) and it was only happened because it would have anyway.
Take care, honey. I'm here for you. We're all here for you.
There's nothing more to say. I wish there was.
I hope my story helped. Talking about it will help, too.
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months old. My periods were not regular, as my dd had just stopped nursing. I hadn't felt well, and we actually couldn't afford a pregnancy test, so I just went to my OB (who, in those days was "free" because we had MUCH better insurance than we have now) I had been bleeding for 10 days, but the nurse didn't know that and came in all sunny and "congratulations, you're pregnant." I started to cry, because she didn't remember I had said I was bleeding for over a week, off an on.
My OB said nothing could be done then, he didn't want to do an ultrasound. He sent me home with his home phone number, with a diagnosis of "threatened abortion." (Meaning miscarriage, but in medicine "abortion" simply means pregnancy which ends before delivery of a life baby, no matter what the cause.)
The next day I woke up and got my toddler breakfast, and when I went to the bathroom, I heard something hit the water. I closed the toilet and continued to make her breakfast. I got her settled with Sesame Street and went up to look. Most of the pregnancy was in the toilet. I tried to pick it up, but it was like wet Kleenex. Just a mass of pink and grey... stuff. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing looked like "a baby." It was just tissue and a lot of blood.
Without thinking I flushed it. I called my husband to come home. I called the woman I did day care for to tell her I couldn't watch her kids and why, she cried with me. Then I called my doctor and he said he'd meet me at the hospital.
We got there and they hooked me up to an IV. I had an ultrasound and they said "Nothing that looks like a viable pregnancy is in there. Just tissue floating around." As there was still tissue, they scheduled a D&C and put me on Pitocin to help the rest of the pregnancy come out.
While we were waiting to have the D&C (because I had eaten breakfast, we had to wait a hours) I passed what was probably the rest of the pregnancy in the toilet. I called the nurse, as I KNEW they needed to collect the tissue. She went, "EW." and flushed it. Stupid Day Surgery Nurses, they weren't used to OB issues and she was clueless. (As a result, I had to have two or three blood tests a week to make sure my HCG levels were dropping, because otherwise it could have been an ectopic pregnancy, as almost no tissue was extracted during the D&C. I was fine, I had passed most of it myself. The next time I miscarried, I just stayed home, (as I wasn't in danger) and passed it in 3 days. I had my nursing education by then, so I knew the danger signs, and there weren't any with this second one.)
I had the D&C, and woke up crying for my baby. The nurse tried to calm me down and said, "Honey, you had an incomplete abortion and we had to make sure you didn't bleed to death." Now, in medical parlance, "incomplete abortion" means what lay people would call "incomplete miscarriage." I knew what she meant, but the stupid NUN who was having cataract surgery and in Recovery right next to me starting giving me the Stink Eye, and then so did all the women who were with her. STUPID CLUELESS intolerant, ignorant, uneducated bitches!
I went home and had a hard time breathing from the tube they had inserted into my throat while I was out, during the procedure. My little girl couldn't understand why I couldn't get up, and I just cried and cried.
I recovered quickly. My OB said, "We know you're fertile, really fertile. PLEASE wait a few months." I said OK. I was prengnat after one normal period! I had my sweet middle child although I was terrified I'd lose her until about 14 weeks, then I went into preterm labor and spent the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest. She was born healthy and hearty, nursed with NO trouble and is a beautiful, smart and funny young adult now.
Honey, I KNOW it hurts. It hurt like hell. Like we both said before, IT SUCKS. Your boyfriend will recover emotionally before you will, that's a given. My husband couldn't understand why I was still crying a month later. I cried on the due date, despite the fact that I was 8 months pregnant with my healthy baby.
Take some time for yourself. Don't expect the boyfriend to totally understand. He may be upset, but he doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant, even for a short time. I even think it's healthy that they recover before we do, because someone needs to be strong faster.
It will get better, but take care of yourself now.
DON'T try to get pregnant again for at least a few periods. And my guess is that your meds had nothing do do with it. Nearly half of pregnancies end in miscarriage (and NO that won't help you feel better, I know that) and it was only happened because it would have anyway.
Take care, honey. I'm here for you. We're all here for you.
There's nothing more to say. I wish there was.
I hope my story helped. Talking about it will help, too.
06/02/2012
Whether for one day, one month, or a lifetime, you were a mother and the loss of your child is a traumatic and sad experience.
Grief happens in different ways for different people. Take the time to grieve however you need to... for as long as you need.
hugs and love and cuddles and a shoulder if you want it.
Grief happens in different ways for different people. Take the time to grieve however you need to... for as long as you need.
hugs and love and cuddles and a shoulder if you want it.
06/02/2012
Hun, I'm so sorry for the lose of your child, I don't know what it feels like to lose a child. I think that your Dr. is an idiot, there are medications for your problems you can take during pregnancies at very low doses. You have ever right to be upset, this was you child and you lost your baby. Most mothers fall in love with their children as soon as they find out they are pregnant, I know I did, and you still could love that baby forever, I'm not sure I've never had a miscarriage. Oh my every time I read over this I cry more and more, it's so sad and heartbreaking. I can see just by reading what you wrote you can see the love and heartache. You will be OK and make it threw this take it one day at a time, you need to surround yourself with family and friends people who truly care for you. You need to have someone you can call and talk to no matter what time it is. Take all the time you to grieve this was your child.
06/02/2012
I just want to thank everyone so very much. This community is so supportive and it brings tears to my eyes how much everyone cares. I cannot thank all of you enough. I am literally stunned at such support I am getting from everyone. I have received soooo many messages and have been told so many stories. I have been told so many words of wisdom and I couldn't be more grateful.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you. It is incredible hard and you all made it a little bit easier. I don't know how I can ever thank you all enough.
xoxo
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you. It is incredible hard and you all made it a little bit easier. I don't know how I can ever thank you all enough.
xoxo
06/02/2012
=[ I don't know you very well but please know that you're in my thoughts and I only wish for the best for you! I don't know what to say. Only time can really help ease the pain of loss and it takes a very long time... But someday you will be happy again and I believe that with all my heart. Just stay hopeful for the future. I strongly believe that this moment in your life will pass (but will never be forgotten) and you WILL be happy again. I really do. Just stay around friends and family for support. If you're alone sometimes listen to relaxing music or do something to keep you busy. That's the only advise I can think of.
06/02/2012
Quote:
Bless your sweet heart! I'm so so sorry!
Originally posted by
LusciousLollypop
My hands want to type something profound but my brain isn't letting it.
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't ... more
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't ... more
My hands want to type something profound but my brain isn't letting it.
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't share their good fortune till at least the 12th week.
I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I will try my best.
They recently took me off my many medications because it was bad for the baby, so my doctor said that we didn't even have time to wean me off.. just stop them. It made me kinda go crazy. Having severe depression, extreme social and general anxiety, multiple panic attacks each day, fainting, and insomnia issues.. going off these medications cold turkey really messed with my body and mind.
A few days ago, I had a lot of heavy bleeding. I had read that pregnant woman may have their periods during pregnancy (very small percentage) and I just thought that I had started my period and was part of the very small and unlucky few.
Then the pain came. I started fainting repeatedly. I was in so much pain that I literally started crying and shaking. Sharp pains. Lots of them, for hours. Something was wrong. This wasn't menstrual cramps anymore, this was full blown pain.
Boyfriend rushed me to the ER. I don't really remember my visit at the ER, but I'll tell you what I know. I heard "it is in danger" "what should we do" "it cannot survive" "we need to take it out" I remember I was so angry that they kept calling my baby.. "it". I'm fully aware that I was only 6 almost 7 weeks along.. but my baby is definitely not an "it".
Then I remember waking up.. and I didn't have a baby anymore, growing inside of me. It was gone. I knew instantly that it was gone. I cried. A lot. I've been crying. I keep on getting these lovely messages and wall posts about websites and what to do when you are pregnant ect ect, and I am so thankful for the people who PM'd me and posted it across my Wall.
I just can't deal with that anymore and needed to announce this. It is good to talk about things and get support.. or so says my therapist. I need to heal. I need to find my mind and not go crazy when I see a baby on TV. I need to stop dreaming.
I need words of wisdom. I need stories. I need you to comfort me and I need you to tell me that these things just happen. I need a lot right now and I can't seem to not be broken hearted about this.
Is it normal to be this upset..? Is it normal to love something so much already even though I barely just knew about him/her? Is it normal to classify this as a traumatic moment in my life? I know how common it is for women to miscarry.
How do I get through something like this? Am I going to get through this at all in one piece?
(thank you to Beck and Kira for talking to me the last couple of days, you are both incredibly amazing and I don't know how insane I would have got without you two, those were lovely gifts.) less
I know I just announced my pregnancy because I was so incredibly happy that I was starting my own little family, finally. I guess that is why pregnant woman don't share their good fortune till at least the 12th week.
I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I will try my best.
They recently took me off my many medications because it was bad for the baby, so my doctor said that we didn't even have time to wean me off.. just stop them. It made me kinda go crazy. Having severe depression, extreme social and general anxiety, multiple panic attacks each day, fainting, and insomnia issues.. going off these medications cold turkey really messed with my body and mind.
A few days ago, I had a lot of heavy bleeding. I had read that pregnant woman may have their periods during pregnancy (very small percentage) and I just thought that I had started my period and was part of the very small and unlucky few.
Then the pain came. I started fainting repeatedly. I was in so much pain that I literally started crying and shaking. Sharp pains. Lots of them, for hours. Something was wrong. This wasn't menstrual cramps anymore, this was full blown pain.
Boyfriend rushed me to the ER. I don't really remember my visit at the ER, but I'll tell you what I know. I heard "it is in danger" "what should we do" "it cannot survive" "we need to take it out" I remember I was so angry that they kept calling my baby.. "it". I'm fully aware that I was only 6 almost 7 weeks along.. but my baby is definitely not an "it".
Then I remember waking up.. and I didn't have a baby anymore, growing inside of me. It was gone. I knew instantly that it was gone. I cried. A lot. I've been crying. I keep on getting these lovely messages and wall posts about websites and what to do when you are pregnant ect ect, and I am so thankful for the people who PM'd me and posted it across my Wall.
I just can't deal with that anymore and needed to announce this. It is good to talk about things and get support.. or so says my therapist. I need to heal. I need to find my mind and not go crazy when I see a baby on TV. I need to stop dreaming.
I need words of wisdom. I need stories. I need you to comfort me and I need you to tell me that these things just happen. I need a lot right now and I can't seem to not be broken hearted about this.
Is it normal to be this upset..? Is it normal to love something so much already even though I barely just knew about him/her? Is it normal to classify this as a traumatic moment in my life? I know how common it is for women to miscarry.
How do I get through something like this? Am I going to get through this at all in one piece?
(thank you to Beck and Kira for talking to me the last couple of days, you are both incredibly amazing and I don't know how insane I would have got without you two, those were lovely gifts.) less
I miscarried my first at 10 weeks and so did my sister.
Please don't let anyone tell you how to feel or that this is common. It's hard, it hurts, you have a TON of emotion involved and your hormones have changed from the pregnancy. Please take whatever time you need and know there are people here to support you, send love and prayers and who are thinking of you!
06/02/2012
I'm so sorry to read this, LL. :-( I don't want to say "I know how you feel"-I hate that phrase- but I just want to reach out to you and let you know that you're not alone. I, too, lost my baby at approximately 6-7 weeks, back in March. I felt incredibly guilty, because I had been stressed at the news, and the thought of terminating the pregnancy had even entered my mind. By posting on here and another site geared exclusively for pregnancy, it finally settled in (for the most part) that it wasn't my fault. Miscarriage happens to approx. 15-20% of known pregnancies, and this early, there's nothing we did or didn't do to cause it. I was told most likely it's a chromosomal abnormality that was present as soon as the baby was conceived. I know it's small comfort, but maybe that will make you feel a bit better. Please don't beat yourself up like I did. I know it hurts.....but it will get better, I promise. *Hugs* My PM box is open if you ever need to talk.
06/03/2012
Nightmares are really kicking my ass. I guess I'm not sleeping for awhile. You know those dreams where you are sleeping, and in the dream.. you try to scream and call out for someone and no one hears you? I am having those types of dreams.
I love sleep. Ambien failed me. I cannot relax at all. :/
I love sleep. Ambien failed me. I cannot relax at all. :/
06/03/2012
Quote:
*hugs* So sorry, honey. Just get into some mindless escapism right now, like a favorite album or movie.
Originally posted by
LusciousLollypop
Nightmares are really kicking my ass. I guess I'm not sleeping for awhile. You know those dreams where you are sleeping, and in the dream.. you try to scream and call out for someone and no one hears you? I am having those types of dreams.
...
more
Nightmares are really kicking my ass. I guess I'm not sleeping for awhile. You know those dreams where you are sleeping, and in the dream.. you try to scream and call out for someone and no one hears you? I am having those types of dreams.
I love sleep. Ambien failed me. I cannot relax at all. :/ less
I love sleep. Ambien failed me. I cannot relax at all. :/ less
06/03/2012
Quote:
Sometimes the timing just is not right, Relief is your mind's way of letting you know it is okay and you will heal. It is a huge responsibility and timing can be everything!! Still thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers!!!! Serious hugs!!!!
Originally posted by
LusciousLollypop
He is being supportive. He didn't really want children so he was very relieved.. almost happy. Actually, he was happy. That is fine, though. If I need to talk, he is there. If I need to cry, he is there. He is just happy that we aren't having
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more
He is being supportive. He didn't really want children so he was very relieved.. almost happy. Actually, he was happy. That is fine, though. If I need to talk, he is there. If I need to cry, he is there. He is just happy that we aren't having a child. I'm almost relieved too, in a sort of messed up way.
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06/03/2012
Quote:
P'Gell--".....and when I went to the bathroom, I heard something hit the water. I closed the toilet and continued to make her breakfast. I got her settled with Sesame Street and went up to look. Most of the pregnancy was in the toilet. I tried to pick it up, but it was like wet Kleenex. Just a mass of pink and grey... stuff. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing looked like "a baby." It was just tissue and a lot of blood."]
Originally posted by
P'Gell
Honey, I'm so so sorry. I PMed you. I've been worried about you.
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months ... more
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months ... more
Honey, I'm so so sorry. I PMed you. I've been worried about you.
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months old. My periods were not regular, as my dd had just stopped nursing. I hadn't felt well, and we actually couldn't afford a pregnancy test, so I just went to my OB (who, in those days was "free" because we had MUCH better insurance than we have now) I had been bleeding for 10 days, but the nurse didn't know that and came in all sunny and "congratulations, you're pregnant." I started to cry, because she didn't remember I had said I was bleeding for over a week, off an on.
My OB said nothing could be done then, he didn't want to do an ultrasound. He sent me home with his home phone number, with a diagnosis of "threatened abortion." (Meaning miscarriage, but in medicine "abortion" simply means pregnancy which ends before delivery of a life baby, no matter what the cause.)
The next day I woke up and got my toddler breakfast, and when I went to the bathroom, I heard something hit the water. I closed the toilet and continued to make her breakfast. I got her settled with Sesame Street and went up to look. Most of the pregnancy was in the toilet. I tried to pick it up, but it was like wet Kleenex. Just a mass of pink and grey... stuff. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing looked like "a baby." It was just tissue and a lot of blood.
Without thinking I flushed it. I called my husband to come home. I called the woman I did day care for to tell her I couldn't watch her kids and why, she cried with me. Then I called my doctor and he said he'd meet me at the hospital.
We got there and they hooked me up to an IV. I had an ultrasound and they said "Nothing that looks like a viable pregnancy is in there. Just tissue floating around." As there was still tissue, they scheduled a D&C and put me on Pitocin to help the rest of the pregnancy come out.
While we were waiting to have the D&C (because I had eaten breakfast, we had to wait a hours) I passed what was probably the rest of the pregnancy in the toilet. I called the nurse, as I KNEW they needed to collect the tissue. She went, "EW." and flushed it. Stupid Day Surgery Nurses, they weren't used to OB issues and she was clueless. (As a result, I had to have two or three blood tests a week to make sure my HCG levels were dropping, because otherwise it could have been an ectopic pregnancy, as almost no tissue was extracted during the D&C. I was fine, I had passed most of it myself. The next time I miscarried, I just stayed home, (as I wasn't in danger) and passed it in 3 days. I had my nursing education by then, so I knew the danger signs, and there weren't any with this second one.)
I had the D&C, and woke up crying for my baby. The nurse tried to calm me down and said, "Honey, you had an incomplete abortion and we had to make sure you didn't bleed to death." Now, in medical parlance, "incomplete abortion" means what lay people would call "incomplete miscarriage." I knew what she meant, but the stupid NUN who was having cataract surgery and in Recovery right next to me starting giving me the Stink Eye, and then so did all the women who were with her. STUPID CLUELESS intolerant, ignorant, uneducated bitches!
I went home and had a hard time breathing from the tube they had inserted into my throat while I was out, during the procedure. My little girl couldn't understand why I couldn't get up, and I just cried and cried.
I recovered quickly. My OB said, "We know you're fertile, really fertile. PLEASE wait a few months." I said OK. I was prengnat after one normal period! I had my sweet middle child although I was terrified I'd lose her until about 14 weeks, then I went into preterm labor and spent the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest. She was born healthy and hearty, nursed with NO trouble and is a beautiful, smart and funny young adult now.
Honey, I KNOW it hurts. It hurt like hell. Like we both said before, IT SUCKS. Your boyfriend will recover emotionally before you will, that's a given. My husband couldn't understand why I was still crying a month later. I cried on the due date, despite the fact that I was 8 months pregnant with my healthy baby.
Take some time for yourself. Don't expect the boyfriend to totally understand. He may be upset, but he doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant, even for a short time. I even think it's healthy that they recover before we do, because someone needs to be strong faster.
It will get better, but take care of yourself now.
DON'T try to get pregnant again for at least a few periods. And my guess is that your meds had nothing do do with it. Nearly half of pregnancies end in miscarriage (and NO that won't help you feel better, I know that) and it was only happened because it would have anyway.
Take care, honey. I'm here for you. We're all here for you.
There's nothing more to say. I wish there was.
I hope my story helped. Talking about it will help, too. less
I've been through this. I lost my second and forth pregnancies. The second one was between my first and second live births, when my oldest was only about 15 months old. My periods were not regular, as my dd had just stopped nursing. I hadn't felt well, and we actually couldn't afford a pregnancy test, so I just went to my OB (who, in those days was "free" because we had MUCH better insurance than we have now) I had been bleeding for 10 days, but the nurse didn't know that and came in all sunny and "congratulations, you're pregnant." I started to cry, because she didn't remember I had said I was bleeding for over a week, off an on.
My OB said nothing could be done then, he didn't want to do an ultrasound. He sent me home with his home phone number, with a diagnosis of "threatened abortion." (Meaning miscarriage, but in medicine "abortion" simply means pregnancy which ends before delivery of a life baby, no matter what the cause.)
The next day I woke up and got my toddler breakfast, and when I went to the bathroom, I heard something hit the water. I closed the toilet and continued to make her breakfast. I got her settled with Sesame Street and went up to look. Most of the pregnancy was in the toilet. I tried to pick it up, but it was like wet Kleenex. Just a mass of pink and grey... stuff. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing looked like "a baby." It was just tissue and a lot of blood.
Without thinking I flushed it. I called my husband to come home. I called the woman I did day care for to tell her I couldn't watch her kids and why, she cried with me. Then I called my doctor and he said he'd meet me at the hospital.
We got there and they hooked me up to an IV. I had an ultrasound and they said "Nothing that looks like a viable pregnancy is in there. Just tissue floating around." As there was still tissue, they scheduled a D&C and put me on Pitocin to help the rest of the pregnancy come out.
While we were waiting to have the D&C (because I had eaten breakfast, we had to wait a hours) I passed what was probably the rest of the pregnancy in the toilet. I called the nurse, as I KNEW they needed to collect the tissue. She went, "EW." and flushed it. Stupid Day Surgery Nurses, they weren't used to OB issues and she was clueless. (As a result, I had to have two or three blood tests a week to make sure my HCG levels were dropping, because otherwise it could have been an ectopic pregnancy, as almost no tissue was extracted during the D&C. I was fine, I had passed most of it myself. The next time I miscarried, I just stayed home, (as I wasn't in danger) and passed it in 3 days. I had my nursing education by then, so I knew the danger signs, and there weren't any with this second one.)
I had the D&C, and woke up crying for my baby. The nurse tried to calm me down and said, "Honey, you had an incomplete abortion and we had to make sure you didn't bleed to death." Now, in medical parlance, "incomplete abortion" means what lay people would call "incomplete miscarriage." I knew what she meant, but the stupid NUN who was having cataract surgery and in Recovery right next to me starting giving me the Stink Eye, and then so did all the women who were with her. STUPID CLUELESS intolerant, ignorant, uneducated bitches!
I went home and had a hard time breathing from the tube they had inserted into my throat while I was out, during the procedure. My little girl couldn't understand why I couldn't get up, and I just cried and cried.
I recovered quickly. My OB said, "We know you're fertile, really fertile. PLEASE wait a few months." I said OK. I was prengnat after one normal period! I had my sweet middle child although I was terrified I'd lose her until about 14 weeks, then I went into preterm labor and spent the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest. She was born healthy and hearty, nursed with NO trouble and is a beautiful, smart and funny young adult now.
Honey, I KNOW it hurts. It hurt like hell. Like we both said before, IT SUCKS. Your boyfriend will recover emotionally before you will, that's a given. My husband couldn't understand why I was still crying a month later. I cried on the due date, despite the fact that I was 8 months pregnant with my healthy baby.
Take some time for yourself. Don't expect the boyfriend to totally understand. He may be upset, but he doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant, even for a short time. I even think it's healthy that they recover before we do, because someone needs to be strong faster.
It will get better, but take care of yourself now.
DON'T try to get pregnant again for at least a few periods. And my guess is that your meds had nothing do do with it. Nearly half of pregnancies end in miscarriage (and NO that won't help you feel better, I know that) and it was only happened because it would have anyway.
Take care, honey. I'm here for you. We're all here for you.
There's nothing more to say. I wish there was.
I hope my story helped. Talking about it will help, too. less
This was what happened to me as well...my at the time husband came into the bathroom when I started screaming and wrapped me up in a blanket so I could not move. He did a very thoughtful and caring task; he got our fishnet for our goldfish and scooped all of our baby out, put him (I know in my heart he was a boy), and placed him in a tupperware. We buried him together at a special place in the mountains above our house. 6 weeks later, I had to have my hysterectomy--finally forgave myself about 5 years ago, this happened about 19 years ago.
So sorry P'Gell--I am bleeding for you inside, sharing your pain and memories. Heartfelt hugs, empathetic thoughts and care for you!!!
06/03/2012
i am so sorry to hear this dear...i went through a similar experience my baby died also...MY BABY not IT like the doctors and nurses kept saying i know exactly how you feel. The loss of my child almost destroyed me and no one understood how bad i was hurting. I finally had to pull myself out of the depression, i do still give myself one day each and every year to grieve for the loss of my little baby the day he passed away(5/9/2001) was also my wedding anniversary.that was not ust an "IT" that was my baby (your baby) and we deserve the chance to grieve over that loss. Hope you are better now take care of you
06/03/2012