I say message his friend! What is there to lose? I'm really sorry to hear that all of this happened, it sounds like an awful situation. I hope that it's just some awful fluke!
He's gone.
10/14/2012
I'm sorry, remember you are in our thoughts and prayers!!
10/14/2012
Quote:
If you know the town he lives in you could call the local police department and just ask them to check on him. You have reason enough to be concerned and they might just be helpful on the matter. Possibly the Red Cross might be able to help as well.
Originally posted by
SMichelle
Just like that... he's gone.
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. ... more
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. ... more
Just like that... he's gone.
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. Today, both of his email addresses are bouncing my messages back. I've tried from 3 different phones, and 4 different email addresses. He has just deleted everything.
I just bought and paid for a non refundable ticket to see him.
I can't breathe. less
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. Today, both of his email addresses are bouncing my messages back. I've tried from 3 different phones, and 4 different email addresses. He has just deleted everything.
I just bought and paid for a non refundable ticket to see him.
I can't breathe. less
You could also call the airlines and let them know that you cannot make the flight...sometimes they are really willing to work with a person even if their ticket was non-refundable. The worst they can say is no, right?
I am so sorry this is happening, I'm sending you some heartfelt hugs.
10/14/2012
Quote:
No, he had no personal information of mine. The mum was in the hospital the first time -- I did find that out for certain, so I know that was truth at least.
Originally posted by
js250
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with
...
more
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with him?
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
The apartment had little drawings from friends all over the walls. Child-ish, but definitely drawn by an adult.
At least he had no personal information of mine, I suppose.
10/14/2012
So sorry, I know what it's like to have your hopes for a future lifted up and then be brought down. If things don't get sorted with him, I wish you all the best. You should definitely follow your gut, and I hope that things work in your favor.
10/14/2012
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know the details of your relationship but it sounds a lot like mine and my partners relationship a few years ago. We were long distance for 3 1/2 years with our primary contact being online. Reading your story, I definitely understand your panic and all your emotions. I can only imagine how I would have felt in that situation. Other contributors have given you great advice already so all I can say is just relax and give it some time to play out. Know that we're all here for you on Eden.
If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me, even if we haven't spoken before.
If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me, even if we haven't spoken before.
10/15/2012
You should definitely contact that friend of his. You're understandably concerned, as anyone would be. It's such a strange thing to do--even if he got cold feet and wanted to back out, you would think he would leave some sort of explanation, something to show you that he's at least okay so you're not going out of your mind with worry. You might want to contact the police, if you know where he lives, just to check on him.
I'm so sorry. This is such an awful thing to go through. I can only imagine how tough it must be. Being in a long distance relationship myself, where I'm planning to go see him in January, if this happened to me...I would be just devastated.
Do you have friends or family members to be with you right now? It would probably be good for you to reach out for some moral support that be there for you physically, though I'm glad you feel you can come here to talk about it as well. But be good to yourself, and try to consider your options. Maybe even a good night's sleep will help--it's always easier to think clearly after you've slept on it.
I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say. I feel for you and hope that everything turns out for the best--that you at least get the peace of mind of knowing what happened. Stay strong and hang in there!
I'm so sorry. This is such an awful thing to go through. I can only imagine how tough it must be. Being in a long distance relationship myself, where I'm planning to go see him in January, if this happened to me...I would be just devastated.
Do you have friends or family members to be with you right now? It would probably be good for you to reach out for some moral support that be there for you physically, though I'm glad you feel you can come here to talk about it as well. But be good to yourself, and try to consider your options. Maybe even a good night's sleep will help--it's always easier to think clearly after you've slept on it.
I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say. I feel for you and hope that everything turns out for the best--that you at least get the peace of mind of knowing what happened. Stay strong and hang in there!
10/15/2012
Thank you everyone for your comments. They mean a lot. I'm having an unbelievably hard time here, and I don't have many people in real life that I can talk to about this. It means a lot that you all are here.
10/15/2012
Quote:
Ryuson.. I agree, what is there to lose? I'm going to give it a week before I do that.
Originally posted by
Ryuson
I say message his friend! What is there to lose? I'm really sorry to hear that all of this happened, it sounds like an awful situation. I hope that it's just some awful fluke!
I just noticed, he left one of his accounts active. He deleted the main one he used to talk to me, the email he uses for banking, the email he uses for everything else... all these accounts he's had for several years... but he left one.
I'm not sure if he left it simply because it slipped his mind, or if there's some real reason for it. I am hoping that he'll use that address to get in touch with me soon, but he hardly ever used it (last time was months ago), so my hopes aren't high.
10/15/2012
I am so sorry this happening to you! D:
10/15/2012
I always worried this would happen to me when I started my online relationship. I don't even know how many times I asked him to promise he'd never just disappear. It came up because sometimes friends from the game we played together just vanished without a goodbye or any trace and I was left wondering why they left or if they were dead or if everything was okay.
He did disappear once. And I understand the not being able to breathe. I couldn't breathe anytime I was awake. . . I couldn't sleep much, I couldn't eat, I absolutely couldn't stop worrying and thinking about him. I would have given anything to hear he was okay. I googled his city and found out there was a really bad ice storm, and then I was really scared something had happened to him. A week later, he called me when I was at work and I couldn't stop telling him how happy I was he was okay. I could finally breathe. The ice took out the power and cell phone towers were down where he lived.
I hope it's. . . something like that for you. :\ I really do. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It's such a bad thing to go through and even worse if it goes badly.
He did disappear once. And I understand the not being able to breathe. I couldn't breathe anytime I was awake. . . I couldn't sleep much, I couldn't eat, I absolutely couldn't stop worrying and thinking about him. I would have given anything to hear he was okay. I googled his city and found out there was a really bad ice storm, and then I was really scared something had happened to him. A week later, he called me when I was at work and I couldn't stop telling him how happy I was he was okay. I could finally breathe. The ice took out the power and cell phone towers were down where he lived.
I hope it's. . . something like that for you. :\ I really do. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It's such a bad thing to go through and even worse if it goes badly.
10/15/2012
Quote:
Thanks. I've asked him several times to never just disappear, too, so he knows it's a huge fear of mine. There was a time a few months back when he had an internet outage for a few weeks. I e-mailed him asking if he was gone. He wrote back, finally, saying "if I am ever done with you, you will know -- I'll tell you". This time, however, he's changed his number, and he's deleted all of his online email addresses and profiles (with the exception of one that he just doesn't use) so my hopes are extremely low.
Originally posted by
LoooveMonkey
I always worried this would happen to me when I started my online relationship. I don't even know how many times I asked him to promise he'd never just disappear. It came up because sometimes friends from the game we played together just
...
more
I always worried this would happen to me when I started my online relationship. I don't even know how many times I asked him to promise he'd never just disappear. It came up because sometimes friends from the game we played together just vanished without a goodbye or any trace and I was left wondering why they left or if they were dead or if everything was okay.
He did disappear once. And I understand the not being able to breathe. I couldn't breathe anytime I was awake. . . I couldn't sleep much, I couldn't eat, I absolutely couldn't stop worrying and thinking about him. I would have given anything to hear he was okay. I googled his city and found out there was a really bad ice storm, and then I was really scared something had happened to him. A week later, he called me when I was at work and I couldn't stop telling him how happy I was he was okay. I could finally breathe. The ice took out the power and cell phone towers were down where he lived.
I hope it's. . . something like that for you. :\ I really do. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It's such a bad thing to go through and even worse if it goes badly. less
He did disappear once. And I understand the not being able to breathe. I couldn't breathe anytime I was awake. . . I couldn't sleep much, I couldn't eat, I absolutely couldn't stop worrying and thinking about him. I would have given anything to hear he was okay. I googled his city and found out there was a really bad ice storm, and then I was really scared something had happened to him. A week later, he called me when I was at work and I couldn't stop telling him how happy I was he was okay. I could finally breathe. The ice took out the power and cell phone towers were down where he lived.
I hope it's. . . something like that for you. :\ I really do. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It's such a bad thing to go through and even worse if it goes badly. less
This isn't just a technical glitch. One email address being unavailable because of a technical glitch, no problem, but three on different providers...? They all worked on Saturday. Sunday, he deleted them all. And his number... I called his service provider, to see if they could tell me if the number was still in service. They told me they couldn't tell me if a number was still in service because it would be a violation of privacy, but they did tell me that there were no service problems currently in that area (that they were aware of). And... it's been 12 hours now since I first tried calling -- still the same message, the number is incorrect, though I know I dialed it properly.
10/15/2012
Can we do a little mini-vote here without a poll? I'm half joking with this one, because joking cheers me up slightly, but what should my move be, as far as e-mailing his friend?
Should I....
1. E-mail him being vengeful. "Hi, you don't know me but I know ___. I'm the girl that he was fucking. The one that he was asking to marry him. Want to see a picture of he and I together? A picture of us sitting on his couch in this flat? A picture of he and I in my hotel bed? A picture of us at the airport? Tell him I said I hope he mans up one of these days... I have no place in my life for someone who would do this to another human being" (vengeful, assuming that there's a girlfriend in the picture, which I'm thinking that there is at this point, and this message would get him in trouble if the friend told the girlfriend)
(NOTE: I would NEVER EVER send a message like that in actuality. I'm just bitter, angry, hurt, and trying to make light by joking about things I would love to do)
2. Leave it all alone.
3. E-mail a quick message that goes something like, "hi, you don't know me, but I know ___. He used to tell me about you sometimes, and your name stood out in my memory. I have been trying to reach him by phone and e-mail, but I'm not having much luck. I'm getting worried that something may've happened -- would you happen to know if he's okay?"
What I would be hoping for with 3 is a hint of closure -- though I know that it's unlikely that I will get it.
Should I....
1. E-mail him being vengeful. "Hi, you don't know me but I know ___. I'm the girl that he was fucking. The one that he was asking to marry him. Want to see a picture of he and I together? A picture of us sitting on his couch in this flat? A picture of he and I in my hotel bed? A picture of us at the airport? Tell him I said I hope he mans up one of these days... I have no place in my life for someone who would do this to another human being" (vengeful, assuming that there's a girlfriend in the picture, which I'm thinking that there is at this point, and this message would get him in trouble if the friend told the girlfriend)
(NOTE: I would NEVER EVER send a message like that in actuality. I'm just bitter, angry, hurt, and trying to make light by joking about things I would love to do)
2. Leave it all alone.
3. E-mail a quick message that goes something like, "hi, you don't know me, but I know ___. He used to tell me about you sometimes, and your name stood out in my memory. I have been trying to reach him by phone and e-mail, but I'm not having much luck. I'm getting worried that something may've happened -- would you happen to know if he's okay?"
What I would be hoping for with 3 is a hint of closure -- though I know that it's unlikely that I will get it.
10/15/2012
Quote:
Oh sweetie that is horrible. I seriously don't know what to tell you on this. My heart breaks for you. When were you suppose to fly to the UK?
Originally posted by
SMichelle
Just like that... he's gone.
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. ... more
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. ... more
Just like that... he's gone.
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. Today, both of his email addresses are bouncing my messages back. I've tried from 3 different phones, and 4 different email addresses. He has just deleted everything.
I just bought and paid for a non refundable ticket to see him.
I can't breathe. less
On Thursday, we were discussing visas. We were talking about how to get me to the UK to be with him permanently. HE was the one who brought this up, not me.
Today, his phone number is disconnected. Today, both of his email addresses are bouncing my messages back. I've tried from 3 different phones, and 4 different email addresses. He has just deleted everything.
I just bought and paid for a non refundable ticket to see him.
I can't breathe. less
10/15/2012
Quote:
I was thinking te same thing. I would hope to God that is not the case here. But better safe then very very sorry.
Originally posted by
js250
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with
...
more
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with him?
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
10/15/2012
Quote:
I second this advice. Better safe than sorry after all. *Hugs*
Originally posted by
js250
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with
...
more
Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with him?
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
This is not a positive happening--but he did come through that time.
Did you give him any personal info--bank accounts, social security number, credit card, passwords? If so CHANGE EVERYTHING TOMORROW!!
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this right now--I am glad you have the community here on EF to help support you!! HUGE HUGS!!!! I am going to message you, please check. You have friends here to help and to lean on, okay, you are not alone!! less
10/15/2012
I'm sorry this has happen to you, hon! *big hugs*
Maybe try contacting his local police and ask to check up on him if you still haven't heard from him in a few days. But, don't do anything rash and possibly unsafe, alright?
Maybe try contacting his local police and ask to check up on him if you still haven't heard from him in a few days. But, don't do anything rash and possibly unsafe, alright?
10/15/2012
Oh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry it happened!
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you bought the ticket and decided to bail.
I'm sure that is not at all what you wanted to hear, but it's just what my gut instinct is telling me. I think if you were to reach out to people he may know or get the police involved that you're going to find things you really don't want to deal with.
I'd just let it go. Easier said than done, right?
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you bought the ticket and decided to bail.
I'm sure that is not at all what you wanted to hear, but it's just what my gut instinct is telling me. I think if you were to reach out to people he may know or get the police involved that you're going to find things you really don't want to deal with.
I'd just let it go. Easier said than done, right?
10/15/2012
This is just awful sweetie! I'm so sorry this happened to you! Big hugs & comfort
10/15/2012
Wow, this terrible. Sounds to me like the disappearance was intentional. Maybe message his friend. At least you could get some closure so you can move on with your life.
10/15/2012
I vote 3 because you need some sort of closure.
10/15/2012
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, I know exactly how you feel. I recently just went through a long distance break-up. My heart goes out to you. HUGS!!
10/15/2012
Quote:
I fly to the UK in January.
Originally posted by
Rod Ronald
Oh sweetie that is horrible. I seriously don't know what to tell you on this. My heart breaks for you. When were you suppose to fly to the UK?
10/15/2012
Quote:
Doing some digging, I am pretty sure that there is a girlfriend. I don't think there's children, or a wife. From what I am seeing, he's in an unhappy relationship now and is kind of stuck because he can't afford to live on his own.
Originally posted by
Ansley
Oh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry it happened!
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you ... more
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you ... more
Oh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry it happened!
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you bought the ticket and decided to bail.
I'm sure that is not at all what you wanted to hear, but it's just what my gut instinct is telling me. I think if you were to reach out to people he may know or get the police involved that you're going to find things you really don't want to deal with.
I'd just let it go. Easier said than done, right? less
My radar is going a mile a minute and I still think this man is married and has children; there's a good chance he may have found himself in between a rock and a hard place when you bought the ticket and decided to bail.
I'm sure that is not at all what you wanted to hear, but it's just what my gut instinct is telling me. I think if you were to reach out to people he may know or get the police involved that you're going to find things you really don't want to deal with.
I'd just let it go. Easier said than done, right? less
I am going to contact the friend -- being very calm, and just wanting to see if things are okay. I am giving it a few days before I do, to see if he should resurface (and if he does, it will be ended officially). I just need to get some form of closure.
10/15/2012
I'm so sorry you're going through this! My aunt went through something similar once- she was dating a guy and he suddenly disappeared, no word and no way to contact him, and this was after he brought up marrying her. She later found out he was completely broke. Her thought was that he wanted to marry her in hopes of getting some of her money, but when he realized how in debt she was, he left.
Given what you've shared (deleted accounts, staying in an unhappy relationship because he can't afford to live on his own, etc.) it wouldn't surprise me if something similar was going on here But whatever the case, I do hope you manage to get some closure on this- and soon!
Given what you've shared (deleted accounts, staying in an unhappy relationship because he can't afford to live on his own, etc.) it wouldn't surprise me if something similar was going on here But whatever the case, I do hope you manage to get some closure on this- and soon!
10/15/2012
Quote:
Do you have a return ticket as well?
Originally posted by
SMichelle
I fly to the UK in January.
10/15/2012
Quote:
Yes. I'm there for two weeks.
Originally posted by
wetone123
Do you have a return ticket as well?
Not looking forward to being all on my own this time.
10/15/2012
I am sorry to hear this sweetie. I hope that if you can't get the tickets refunded that you are at least able to have a getaway and enjoy a vacation that you could use to help find yourself again. I am thinking that there is another women or something in the picture I pray there isn't but with him being in the UK and you here there really is no telling
10/15/2012
Quote:
Well, I don't know what part of the UK you are going to...but if they are not refundable I would not use the tickets to track him down. I would find some attractions in the area and make a vacation out of it. Perhaps you may even find someone better...I just got back from a vacation and met several eligible men while there. Got all of their contact info and they mine. Been talking by phone and emailing every one of them since. You may be surprised what and who may come your way. I know I was! When one door shuts (as they say) another window opens? I just turned 50 and if I can I know you can! Life is full of surprises! Make it an amusement ride. I wish I still had my youth like you do! Make the most of it while you can and try not to dwell on this man too much. A year is an investment in your life. It could have been worse, it could have been 3, 5, or 10. Be glad you found out at this time instead of later! Have a great time in January, check out the sites, put yourself out there and land yourself a winner! You CAN do it!
Originally posted by
SMichelle
Yes. I'm there for two weeks.
Not looking forward to being all on my own this time.
Not looking forward to being all on my own this time.
10/16/2012
He sounds like a liar. His gig is up. Someone found out. There's no other way I would read this.
10/16/2012