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Fetlife, I hate you

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Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think you make a good point and really, it's not terribly different from any other place online. There's drama and conflict and it's all about whether or not you choose to get involved with said conflict.

It is a great place to ... more
Ooooh, you guys Skype? How cool!
09/01/2010
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I like fetlife, but then, I don't use it for forums really. I have a bunch of friends on there, and we all just chat and connect. I think if I had to deal with the forums, I'd go nuts.
09/01/2010
Contributor: petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
Well I just joined and Im still trying to figure it out. I dont like the black background.. makes me feel like Im doing something 'dirty'
09/01/2010
Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Am I the only one that stays off Fetlife for a few weeks (or months) and returns, naively, thinking the rampant assholery of that social networking site is somehow not as bad as they remembered it being only to find...IT IS JUST AS BAD, IF NOT WORSE. ... more
I had an account. Then I stopped using it. Period. The things on there are sicker than I thought anything could be, and I don't want to have anything to do with it again.
01/25/2011
Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I'm a little annoyed at the audacity of some of the "dommes" on there. I almost want to say you're not a domme, you're a control freak who gets a sick pleasure out of mentally and physically abusing people. There's a fine ... more
I totally agree. That's why I don't like the site. I still can't believe sites like that exist, including sick fetish porn sites. (Actually, that's why I don't have a thing to do with porn).
01/25/2011
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I have an account there (thesindoll) and I mostly just use it to keep up with the people I've met along my merry little kinky way.

I just post something when it interests me and ignore the fucktards.

01/26/2011
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
FL is one of the things that I just never really got into. I think I looked at the intro page once and then decided it wasn't worth my time. I have a few real life friends that are on there, and generally like it, but honestly I much more prefer it here.
01/26/2011
Contributor: Lauryn Ibsen Lauryn Ibsen
I'm writing a cover story on FetLife for a new e-zine for the fetish/BDSM/kink community. If you are interested in sharing your horror or love story with FetLife, please feel free to email me.

Unless you are willing to have your scene name in digital print, do not respond. I'm looking for factual information.
07/22/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Fetlife is useful if you have real time friends/community there - it's a good communication/planning tool.

It's also nice if you find groups/forums where you fit in.

But, christ on a crutch, the cliques and stuff get ... more
I agree. I don't go on there often - my girl uses it more than I do - but I got a little put off by that sort of thing. And trying to have a conversation with a guy, when they realise you're not a woman, dies quicker than Elvis.
07/22/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
It doesn't surprise me that there's a bunch of drama. Our local group seems to be fairly good about keeping things cool which is nice.
01/02/2012
Contributor: biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Am I the only one that stays off Fetlife for a few weeks (or months) and returns, naively, thinking the rampant assholery of that social networking site is somehow not as bad as they remembered it being only to find...IT IS JUST AS BAD, IF NOT WORSE. ... more
YES YES YES. I mean, there's drama in the IRL scene too, but spending time on the EF forums seems so calm and respectful by comparison...
01/02/2012
Contributor: GoneBabyGone GoneBabyGone
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I'm a little annoyed at the audacity of some of the "dommes" on there. I almost want to say you're not a domme, you're a control freak who gets a sick pleasure out of mentally and physically abusing people. There's a fine ... more
Exactly how I feel, Dom/Domme's there are sometimes awful. I joined because I wanted to meet more like minded people and make friends. I was very open and honest about that.

All I caught was drama and bullshit. The Dom/Domme's there were sometimes highly abusive and rude. They were just sick people trying to take advantage of other people by hiding behind the disguise of being a Dom or Domme.

I'm not going to bow to any old person, I have a Master and unless He says otherwise I obey no one else. You will have my respect until you show me you are not worth it. Then I will tell you exactly what I think.

Then they tell me I'm not a submissive.

Stupid.
01/02/2012
Contributor: SwanWings SwanWings
Quote:
Originally posted by GoneBabyGone
Exactly how I feel, Dom/Domme's there are sometimes awful. I joined because I wanted to meet more like minded people and make friends. I was very open and honest about that.

All I caught was drama and bullshit. The Dom/Domme's there ... more
This is why I hate Fetlife~ I posted a question in the forums. My question was RE written and altered by the group owner as a joke~ what was wrote in place of my question made me look like a nazi hate propogandist. The problem was that I was a paid blogger at the time and I was building a web following. That joke hurt my ability to make an income. I pleaded with the caretakers for assitance. At the end of over a week of emails to them they finally told me there was nothing they could do about it. I closed my Fetlife account and the day I did the caretakers released my personal information to the people who had rewritten my question and they showed on my blog page where I was a paid writer. I had given it to them to prove that the joke could potentially impede on my ability to earn an income. The jokesters turned into stalkers and I eventually had to close that account to.

I will never again create another Fetlife account. I am a struggling parent trying to make a few extra dollars by blogging and Fetlife took that away from me.

This happened in september of 2011~ it is now january of 2012. I have posted this account of what happened to me in at least two places and I will continue to post it.
01/15/2012
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I like it myself, but I usually just chat with local people for the most part. Sort of glad to say that I have yet to meet anyone rude or annoying on there.
I do stalk groups related to interests for informative purposes though.
And I love that it gives people like me (really shy) the anonymity of the internet to explore such interests but also helps connect people to local munches/events.
I actually left CollarMe for FetLife (got way too many creepers on CollarMe).
01/15/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
I don't really get that from fetlife, I quite enjoy hanging around on there and we've recently been active with some of the local groups.
01/15/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
I don't really get that from fetlife, I quite enjoy hanging around on there and we've recently been active with some of the local groups.
AHHH! Then you must be one of them.


I'm kidding, I swear. I just think it's funny how it never fails that there is an in-crowd and a group of outsiders in every forum relating to people and life and all of that.

I've never been on Fetlife, but I know many people swear by it and say it's where they met their significant others and wouldn't change it for anything.
01/15/2012
Contributor: nephilim56 nephilim56
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Am I the only one that stays off Fetlife for a few weeks (or months) and returns, naively, thinking the rampant assholery of that social networking site is somehow not as bad as they remembered it being only to find...IT IS JUST AS BAD, IF NOT WORSE. ... more
I just happened to stumble across this and as someone who has been on and off FetLife many times I just wanted to say Yes! Yes!! YES!! So no, you're not the only one!
03/05/2017
Contributor: Arty Arty
Worst of the worst... in addition to the awful things that happen to some people when they meet up (see old news reports), I feel the site does not foster enough accountability. Few online dating platforms do. I was on it for 3years (introduced to it by a guy who thought it would be right up my alley - he was wrong). I noticed there are a lot of reports of no shows and disrespectful behaviour.

The person I met (Toronto based guy - I live in the states) for what I feel was an innocent and loving thing (ANR) kept flaking and ghosting. He led me on we exchanged gifts but at the end of a year I finally made him see me face to face by going to him instead of tolerating his constant cancellations to visit me 2hrs away by plane). I have a phone full of his kind and loving words only to find out in the end he is fearful to let it go further and this is just his habit according to his friends who actually spoke about him on another platform. He really should come with a warning sign "BROKEN -UNABLE TO BE TRUTHFUL - WILL BE A FAKE FRIEND TO ANYONE" - poor manners, all that. The scary part was he was one of the nicer men I met on FL - if that's the best that platform has then forget it. Yeah, it's a hot stove that burns too many people who do not heed the warning signs. The men I've and people I've spoken to on there are not there to practice respect. Many have been practicing the art of shady behaviour and mind games. I will not return to it.
01/20/2018