I would definitely lose respect for someone who shows a lack of caring for their kid
Do you lose respect for people who don't care about their kids?
10/10/2012
I think it depends on the situation, but I love kids very much so its hard to see one neglected.
10/10/2012
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My opinion exactly, well put Pixel.
Originally posted by
Pixel
That sort of an attitude towards your own child would definitely change the way I think about someone.
10/10/2012
yes definitely, the situation you described sounds horrible! I would be upset, too.
10/10/2012
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Perhaps there is a reason he hasn't seen the child? We really don't know the whole story. Maybe it was the best thing? While my opinion of people like this is usually "selfish jerk!" I don't know the whole story. For all we know, the girl poked holes in the condom to sucker him into child and the white picket fence.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that
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I never thought it would bother me so much, but a co-worker occasionally mentions his child that he had with another woman before meeting his wife. He refers to her as "the child" or even "it" rather than her name. He admits that he's never even seen her, and he's been with his wife five years so she has to at least be that old. Lately I've been thinking about that and I find it deplorable that he has no interest in meeting his own child and refers to her like she's not a human being that HE created. I admit that it does make me think differently about him. Even though he's a good worker and a reliable employee, I can't respect him as much knowing that he doesn't care about his own child. My question is, how do you guys feel about a person like that? Am I overreacting or is it an understandable feeling?
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If I respect a women's right to give up her child, I have to say the same about the males. Just because the women wants the child, the man doesn't have to want the same. He can sign over rights and move on with his life. His choice. His life. Though, I wouldn't think too highly of a person who did this, but some people aren't meant to be parents! It would be worse on the child to have a parent around who disliked them.
10/10/2012
That specific instance doesn't bother me as much since the fact that they haven't met makes me think there's something else going on. Seeing parents being mean or neglectful to their child when they are raising them, however, just makes me furious.
10/10/2012
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I feel the same way. I would much rather a parent sign their rights away to that child's life and their development than to drag the child through the mud.
Originally posted by
Beck
Perhaps there is a reason he hasn't seen the child? We really don't know the whole story. Maybe it was the best thing? While my opinion of people like this is usually "selfish jerk!" I don't know the whole story. For all we
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more
Perhaps there is a reason he hasn't seen the child? We really don't know the whole story. Maybe it was the best thing? While my opinion of people like this is usually "selfish jerk!" I don't know the whole story. For all we know, the girl poked holes in the condom to sucker him into child and the white picket fence.
If I respect a women's right to give up her child, I have to say the same about the males. Just because the women wants the child, the man doesn't have to want the same. He can sign over rights and move on with his life. His choice. His life. Though, I wouldn't think too highly of a person who did this, but some people aren't meant to be parents! It would be worse on the child to have a parent around who disliked them. less
If I respect a women's right to give up her child, I have to say the same about the males. Just because the women wants the child, the man doesn't have to want the same. He can sign over rights and move on with his life. His choice. His life. Though, I wouldn't think too highly of a person who did this, but some people aren't meant to be parents! It would be worse on the child to have a parent around who disliked them. less
I know so many people who have no business being parents that I can't help but think that way.
10/10/2012
I'd def lose respect.
10/10/2012
A child is a child, no matter who it's with. If you helped make it and are aware of the child, you take responsibility. You can't abandon one family just because you're starting another.
10/10/2012
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Couldn't say it better myself!
Originally posted by
js250
That is disgusting behavior!!!! Sorry, but to me that person is trash--to not care about an innocent child? Much less his own?? Did that child ask for an insensitive, selfish ass to be her/his dad????
10/10/2012
I hate bad parents
10/10/2012
He doesn't deserve to get to know her.
10/10/2012
That's horrible! This would completely change how I viewed that person.
10/10/2012
Yes, I would lose respect.
10/10/2012
yes I lose respect for those people
10/10/2012
Like others have said we don't know the whole story so we can't really judge in most cases yes I would loose respect for someone who really had no reason NOT to be in the child's life. I don't get how so many people can have kids an not want anything to do with them. There are so many people who would love to have those kids who are neglected. I will say though, if this man wants nothing to with his child then he needs to sign his rights away.
10/10/2012
If you can't/ don't have the desire to/ refuse to man up and take care of your responsibilities (which, if you have a child, involves being an active element of growth and development in their life), then you are something to scrape off my boot. No two ways about it. If you can't take care of your business, don't expect anyone to respect you.
10/10/2012
Well of course who wouldn't? It's a parents obligation to care about their child(ren). You KNOW what makes a child, whether it happens on purpose or accident, or even carelessness, well too damn bad, time to grow up. I just can't wrap my head around why ANYONE wouldn't want anything to do with their own child.
10/10/2012
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I totally agree with this. Sadly, my SO is in a situation where she got pregnant after lying to him and telling him she can't, while she was taking drugs to make her more fertile. She had the kid, got upset with him when he got upset over her deceptive behavior that has forever changed his life, and she has tried to make his life hell for it ever since. He does get to see his daughter every week, but he fought like hell to get that right to be in her life (the mother is a lawyer--go figure). I have all the more respect for him for doing everything in his power to get at least that once a week visit with his daughter, and that he loves her and wants to be a part of her life. I think he's a tremendous human being for it, given the difficult situation. His life would be easier if he wiped his hands clean of the situation and had nothing to do with them--but he refuses to give up a relationship with his daughter--and I'm very impressed with that, considering how some people would want nothing to do with their kids if given the choice, like the guy we're discussing in this post.
Originally posted by
Ansley
There are always three sides to a story; I've known a fair amount of women who use their children as pawns and the reason the father is out of the child's life is because the mother makes it impossible for him to be around. I guess the child
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There are always three sides to a story; I've known a fair amount of women who use their children as pawns and the reason the father is out of the child's life is because the mother makes it impossible for him to be around. I guess the child should pay for what the father did to the mother in the relationship. It's really sad and heartbreaking.
I'm really glad we had the women's lib movement and that we have the right to go to work and have a career, get an education, own property, make decisions about our bodies, but I can't help but think it really screwed up the family dynamic.
There used to be a time when a village raised a child, meaning extended family and respected community members had input in the child's life so if one key member was missing or had little to do with the child there was still a core group of people for the child to rely on and learn from. It's just not like that anymore and women waiting until they're in their late 30's to have children when grandpa and grandma can't be as active in the child's life doesn't help either. less
I'm really glad we had the women's lib movement and that we have the right to go to work and have a career, get an education, own property, make decisions about our bodies, but I can't help but think it really screwed up the family dynamic.
There used to be a time when a village raised a child, meaning extended family and respected community members had input in the child's life so if one key member was missing or had little to do with the child there was still a core group of people for the child to rely on and learn from. It's just not like that anymore and women waiting until they're in their late 30's to have children when grandpa and grandma can't be as active in the child's life doesn't help either. less
And yes--I'm grateful for women's lib for all those reasons too, but I do think the family dynamic got screwed up along the way, which is a shame. I don't think it had to be that way, either, but that's a conversation for another time.
10/10/2012
Not really.
10/10/2012
Oh yes. I hate to see people not take care of their kids. If they weren't going to take care of them, then why have them?
10/10/2012
I need to grow to respect someone as I get to know them - I don't just blanket respect. and once I see this kind of attitude, I'll never develop any respect for him!
10/10/2012
How could you possibly respect somebody that doesn't care for their kids. Dead beat parents are pretty much the scum of the Earth to me.
10/10/2012
Yeah, that's awful and irresponsible. Wrap your damn dick up if you feel that way about kids.
10/10/2012
Yea, that's pretty sad that he feels that way. Silver lining is that he's not around the kid enough to harm her, and hopefully her mom is wonderful and caring
10/11/2012
What's puzzling to me is the fact that he now has a wife and three kids and talks about them so fondly as if they're his whole world, yet he has such disdain for this other daughter. I don't care what the circumstances of her conception were (he admitted that she was the product of a one-night stand), that is his CHILD, and if he wasn't ready for kids he shouldn't have put himself in a situation where he could create one. Simple. Well, he has said he's about to sign his rights away, and as others have said, maybe that's a good thing. Just sad.
10/11/2012
ya that's not cool
10/11/2012
Who doesn't love their children? That is just ridiculous. I will definitely lose respect for anyone who does not care for their children
12/10/2012
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I 100% agree
Originally posted by
Cat E.
Yes, I'd lose respect for someone like that and wouldn't have anything to do with them.
12/10/2012
My kids are better off without their biological father being a part of their lives. My husband is all the only father they need.
12/11/2012
Total posts: 60
Unique posters: 58
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