I've noticed you and your husband since the very beginning, Cmex and Jmex, right?

Like many others, I usually respond to topics that catch my interest, it doesn't matter who the poster is. Also, after I've started a discussion or poll, I don't reply back to all that has responded, not that I don't care about what they've said, I just don't want to turn my thread into a really long one and bore everybody with my own responses...but sometimes I wonder if that's the right etiquette? less

I've noticed you and your husband since the very beginning, Cmex and Jmex, right?

Like many others, I usually respond to topics that catch my interest, it doesn't matter who the poster is. Also, after I've started a discussion or poll, I don't reply back to all that has responded, not that I don't care about what they've said, I just don't want to turn my thread into a really long one and bore everybody with my own responses...but sometimes I wonder if that's the right etiquette? less

I don't really feel this way. I contribute when there's something to contribute.

Though, I think the way the forum is set up, it's not really conducive to having incredibly fruitful conversations...at least in my opinion. There are just so many categories and it's almost kind of intimidating when it's all text jumbled together on the front page. So I just stick with the latest updates, which is obviously pretty jumbled in itself. less

Do you ever feel as though EF forums can be somewhat clique-ish? I don't mean this in a bad way, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But sometimes I feel like there is a definitive line that is drawn between those that are "seasoned" and "Lifers" on Eden that have been here for years....then you have the "newbies/other" category. Sometimes when I respond to threads, no one responds or continues with my thoughts/ideas but yet there's always the same handful of folks that go back and forth to continue the discussion. Don't get me wrong, I love reading the dialogue and thoughts between members, but it almost feels like (and my wife and I have discussed this and feel the same way) that because we're not "in that category" that we just don't fit in as well. Its almost enough to just stop posting responses or threads . And again, I don't want to upset anyone, not pointing fingers and I'm not complaining or whining about it. I just wondered if anyone else felt this way, or if I am kind of off with my line of thoughts and feelings on this matter. This is a private poll, but if you are brave enough to share your stories/thoughts or suggestions on this matter, I would love to hear your thoughts or situations where you felt the same as I do or seen it happen. Also, How do you think that we can better address this sort of behavior? less

I think it's good you posted this, and great answers everyone! It's rough to be the new kid on the block and it's easy to feel left out. There's a lot going on all of the time. Keep hangin' with us, you're already part of the "in crowd" just by being on Edenfantasys. And you're more than welcome to participate as much as you want. less

Cliques are part of life. You become friends with someone that is friends with someone and so on. It just happens. There is just so much going on in here to reach out to every one. Take a step back and take the time to reach out to them individually. I havent really talked to anyone except Beck but everyone seems really nice. less

Aw. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry you're being left out. I agree, that's how it is. I don't know why. I don't understand that kind of behavior because my personality is the opposite. I'm very talkative and friendly and love people so I never (intenionally) exclude anyone, even if they've been hateful to me before. I will admit, it's happened to me, but not only being excluded, being talked to (written to) in an extremely hateful manner. I replied with kindness and left it alone. It never feels good to feel what you're going through.

Second of all, DO NOT stop posting. No matter what others think here, there are many people like me here who are happy to have friendly conversation with you. I enjoy your posts. Don't stop.

I hope that I'm not quilty of ignoring anyone. As pathetic as this may sound, my friends (even the online ones!) are really important to me. Sometimes I don't go back to threads I've created because I can't darn find them and that's why I often don't respond. Also, I forget. However, I always like when someone copies and pastes their reply to my thread in a message that way I can get back to them. A lot of times I do go back to threads I've created and will message the people who've left responses. I message them because most don't go back to a thread they've already commented in.

In some cases, people just aren't friendly and are only around for points. In other cases, they simply can't think of much to say and then sadly there are those that have hard feelings toward you for whatever reason. Online, unless someone's been tremendously hateful to me numerous times, I'll still be civil. Sometimes you have different opinions and some people don't like you for that--believe me! I am learning not to feel bad when this happens to me and just roll my eyes and find something else to occupy my mind when I get rude/hateful comments from people. I've had to do that quite a bit lately. Today when it happened, I logged off immediately and worked on a craft project. It helped. I deleted the messages and worked to push it away from my mind. It's hard to do that though.

I just hope you and your wife won't let others stop you from enjoying yourselves and other people here. Maybe it would help when you're feeling this way, to go start a convo with a more friendly member here? I think that could be nice. It helps me. I promise there are friendly people. You just have to sort through the negative to find the positive

Well, I understand your feelings, if that helps. I happen to be a sensitive person at times like today so I often take the things people say to heart and that doesn't neccessarily mean I'm bad. Then there are times when I'm thinking screw this, and laugh about it. It totally depends though. I think this should be a fun place and most often than not, it is. I usually don't take things really seriously, but it's true that some things can be hurtful and you can't help that. Everyone here has their own personal lives and we don't know what they're going through so I try to see it like that. I might feel crappy about a hateful comment for a few minutes, but I usually pull myself away from the entire place and have strictly fun time! However, I hope everyone is careful about hatefullness (I mean actual hatefullness towards people) Just because it's online doesn't mean nasty remarks don't hurt. If someone just doesn't relate to you/understand you or your writings, that's totally different.

After reading some of the other responses here, it was kind of eye opening. I had no idea that some people felt the way they did. I think this was a great thread! See, I had the impression that some people here were bothered by others trying to communicate with them and reading the responses, I see that that isn't the case at all. I guess a lot of it has to do with online talk. You can't read body language, see someone's facial expression so you don't always understand their attitude and that makes it complicated and easy to misunderstand. less

Yes Rossie, that is us. (Is it a good thing or a bad thing that you noticed us right off the bat? LMAO). I will admit that when we first started to use the forums, we had no clue what was going on, what it was about or anything. After I slowed down a bit, and actually started to read through some of the posts, I found that many were very helpful and there were serious questions/answers and very helpful tips. We began to see what the EF forums were really all about (well, for the most part anyways). Thats when we started to really try to give more indepth responses and try to learn from others and what not.

Granted, I have been guilty of doing the same thing that I am so whining about lol. Not on purpose, but I have been thinking about it over the last day or so and I thought to myself "Well geez, you do the same thing sometimes!" of course, its not on purpose, maybe I am just in a hurry or I have other stuff to do, so I will skim through or something. Sometimes I will lose track of my threads because I post to so many of them, and they get burried. So I felt kinda stupid tonight when I realized that.



I get what you mean though, You can't very well respond to a ton of folks on one thread. I will at least try to post something like "Thank you everyone for your posts!" or something like that, to at least let people know that "Yes, I have read your responses, I see you, I did come back to read through" so they don't think Im just posting and going lol. I try to at least give that much. I think it depends too, on the topic or thread. Some of them don't really require much of your input back to them, others do. less

Aw. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry you're being left out. I agree, that's how it is. I don't know why. I don't understand that kind of behavior because my personality is the opposite. I'm very talkative and friendly and love people so I never (intenionally) exclude anyone, even if they've been hateful to me before. I will admit, it's happened to me, but not only being excluded, being talked to (written to) in an extremely hateful manner. I replied with kindness and left it alone. It never feels good to feel what you're going through.

Second of all, DO NOT stop posting. No matter what others think here, there are many people like me here who are happy to have friendly conversation with you. I enjoy your posts. Don't stop.

I hope that I'm not quilty of ignoring anyone. As pathetic as this may sound, my friends (even the online ones!) are really important to me. Sometimes I don't go back to threads I've created because I can't darn find them and that's why I often don't respond. Also, I forget. However, I always like when someone copies and pastes their reply to my thread in a message that way I can get back to them. A lot of times I do go back to threads I've created and will message the people who've left responses. I message them because most don't go back to a thread they've already commented in.

In some cases, people just aren't friendly and are only around for points. In other cases, they simply can't think of much to say and then sadly there are those that have hard feelings toward you for whatever reason. Online, unless someone's been tremendously hateful to me numerous times, I'll still be civil. Sometimes you have different opinions and some people don't like you for that--believe me! I am learning not to feel bad when this happens to me and just roll my eyes and find something else to occupy my mind when I get rude/hateful comments from people. I've had to do that quite a bit lately. Today when it happened, I logged off immediately and worked on a craft project. It helped. I deleted the messages and worked to push it away from my mind. It's hard to do that though.

I just hope you and your wife won't let others stop you from enjoying yourselves and other people here. Maybe it would help when you're feeling this way, to go start a convo with a more friendly member here? I think that could be nice. It helps me. I promise there are friendly people. You just have to sort through the negative to find the positive

Well, I understand your feelings, if that helps. I happen to be a sensitive person at times like today so I often take the things people say to heart and that doesn't neccessarily mean I'm bad. Then there are times when I'm thinking screw this, and laugh about it. It totally depends though. I think this should be a fun place and most often than not, it is. I usually don't take things really seriously, but it's true that some things can be hurtful and you can't help that. Everyone here has their own personal lives and we don't know what they're going through so I try to see it like that. I might feel crappy about a hateful comment for a few minutes, but I usually pull myself away from the entire place and have strictly fun time! However, I hope everyone is careful about hatefullness (I mean actual hatefullness towards people) Just because it's online doesn't mean nasty remarks don't hurt. If someone just doesn't relate to you/understand you or your writings, that's totally different.

After reading some of the other responses here, it was kind of eye opening. I had no idea that some people felt the way they did. I think this was a great thread! See, I had the impression that some people here were bothered by others trying to communicate with them and reading the responses, I see that that isn't the case at all. I guess a lot of it has to do with online talk. You can't read body language, see someone's facial expression so you don't always understand their attitude and that makes it complicated and easy to misunderstand. less

Aw. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry you're being left out. I agree, that's how it is. I don't know why. I don't understand that kind of behavior because my personality is the opposite. I'm very talkative and friendly and love people so I never (intenionally) exclude anyone, even if they've been hateful to me before. I will admit, it's happened to me, but not only being excluded, being talked to (written to) in an extremely hateful manner. I replied with kindness and left it alone. It never feels good to feel what you're going through.

Second of all, DO NOT stop posting. No matter what others think here, there are many people like me here who are happy to have friendly conversation with you. I enjoy your posts. Don't stop.

I hope that I'm not quilty of ignoring anyone. As pathetic as this may sound, my friends (even the online ones!) are really important to me. Sometimes I don't go back to threads I've created because I can't darn find them and that's why I often don't respond. Also, I forget. However, I always like when someone copies and pastes their reply to my thread in a message that way I can get back to them. A lot of times I do go back to threads I've created and will message the people who've left responses. I message them because most don't go back to a thread they've already commented in.

In some cases, people just aren't friendly and are only around for points. In other cases, they simply can't think of much to say and then sadly there are those that have hard feelings toward you for whatever reason. Online, unless someone's been tremendously hateful to me numerous times, I'll still be civil. Sometimes you have different opinions and some people don't like you for that--believe me! I am learning not to feel bad when this happens to me and just roll my eyes and find something else to occupy my mind when I get rude/hateful comments from people. I've had to do that quite a bit lately. Today when it happened, I logged off immediately and worked on a craft project. It helped. I deleted the messages and worked to push it away from my mind. It's hard to do that though.

I just hope you and your wife won't let others stop you from enjoying yourselves and other people here. Maybe it would help when you're feeling this way, to go start a convo with a more friendly member here? I think that could be nice. It helps me. I promise there are friendly people. You just have to sort through the negative to find the positive

Well, I understand your feelings, if that helps. I happen to be a sensitive person at times like today so I often take the things people say to heart and that doesn't neccessarily mean I'm bad. Then there are times when I'm thinking screw this, and laugh about it. It totally depends though. I think this should be a fun place and most often than not, it is. I usually don't take things really seriously, but it's true that some things can be hurtful and you can't help that. Everyone here has their own personal lives and we don't know what they're going through so I try to see it like that. I might feel crappy about a hateful comment for a few minutes, but I usually pull myself away from the entire place and have strictly fun time! However, I hope everyone is careful about hatefullness (I mean actual hatefullness towards people) Just because it's online doesn't mean nasty remarks don't hurt. If someone just doesn't relate to you/understand you or your writings, that's totally different.

After reading some of the other responses here, it was kind of eye opening. I had no idea that some people felt the way they did. I think this was a great thread! See, I had the impression that some people here were bothered by others trying to communicate with them and reading the responses, I see that that isn't the case at all. I guess a lot of it has to do with online talk. You can't read body language, see someone's facial expression so you don't always understand their attitude and that makes it complicated and easy to misunderstand. less

Kendra, I have seen nothing but bursting energy and sweetness from you! lol. You have always been one of those bubbly ones on here that makes everyone feel welcome. Even when you're leaving a comment on a thread that might be "less than nice" or maybe you disagree with someone, you've always been so sweet about it. So tell me, how the heck is it that anyone would be hateful to you!? lol! Lemme attem!

I agree too that I didn't realize how many folks actually felt this way. Or, the other ways that they do/did. When I seen the amount of responses on that poll, it really put it into perspective for me. If you think about it, even tho a lot responded, you have to figure that there are a handful that would rather stay anonymous or not say anything for fear of critical responses to them. Which I understand. Hence why Jmex did a private poll.


"Just because it's online doesn't mean nasty remarks don't hurt."
I totally agree. I know that its "lame" to some folks that I am so sensitive about this stuff and that I have no life and Im on here all the time, and I really felt like some of the responses here made me feel totally lame. I get that most folks go out and have friends and date nights and what not, but I don't get that. Im poor, no friends/family around and dammit this is my outlet so I don't lose touch with my sanity LMAO. I've always been an online type of person though. I love typing and chatting, playing games and just relaxing online. For some, this doesn't appeal to them, but please watch how you say things when some folks-this is all they have ya know?

Online talk is really hard to read. Sometimes its all on your presentation of a sentence. If I am joking around, being goofy or just want to say something that may not be totally positive but tryng to be helpful to someone-I will usually put the or or something to that affect, this way they know that I am saying what I am saying, with a smile. I think that a lot of folks don't do that (I do it out of habit, and a whole bunch lol).


There was one person that responded to one of my posts about "What would be a good free toy" and I had suggested that it would be awesome if they would include the EF toy bags. Of course, it was only a wish and my opinion of what I'd love to see as a free gift, and someone had replied with "Stop being greedy, they give us enough already". That blew me away. I wasn't trying to cause an uproar or be snotty or anything, but I thought "Well how rude was that?" This was back when I was new to everything and didn't realize just how much EF DOES do for us. So of course, I felt totally stupid and stopped posting for a few days, and when I started back up again, I made sure to watch what I posted to avoid that kind of snottiness. less